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Should i be paying child support?, if my child recieves ssdi?

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    Should i be paying child support?, if my child recieves ssdi?

    I live in Fl. my daughter lives in NY. which makes the systems working together al most impossable. Ny doesnt even have a number you can call in catskill(where my daughter lives) wher you can talk to a person.
    I cant express how screwed up this system is. When i was half dead with 5 bulletes at 2 chest tubes for 4 months ,....rhab...blaw blaw blaw. . Anyway my Arears went up like 1500 during that time.
    I started recieving SSI. They sent letters saying i didnt have to co operate with child support anymore.
    Then i started recieving SSDI, giving me about a couple hundred dollars to live on. They also sent a letter that i WoULd have to start paying child support. After a couple montrhs of them taking over 450 dollars out of my check. i called NY and explained i need a trial by phone because of the change of my condition. I was granted it. The judge said of course i should be paying the minimum amount now. 50 dollars a month and 50 toward arrears. i Asked if this could be retro to when i was injured. The judge said only if my daughters mother said ok. She didnt. She was pissed she was even in court and im sure not happy my support was being lowered. SHE WAS ALLREADY RECIEVING %$) IN ssdi for a few months!! Needless to say she hates me.
    I, NOR do i think the judge knew, judge knew, that she was recieving ssid through me. SHe recieves half of what i would get without deductions, which is 540.00 a month. Including the hundred i pay directly from my check she recieves 640.00 a month. A nine year old girl. Thats only a couple hundred less than what im given, a disabled adult.
    This doesnt seem right.!
    Im glad she is taken care of extemly well. hope so. My babys mother is coledge educated, Married with a husband that works and treats her as his own. Owns a house. They do well.
    I am not doing well. I doubt 50 or 100 would put them in the poorhouse.
    It would honestly make a big diiference to me though.
    looking like a book now;sorry
    Well im going down to the child support office.......once again Mon morning. Wll see what they say.
    I just want to say that the child support system in this country IS SCREWED UP. I understand there are deadbeat dads(my dad was one...didnt matter, to me...i loved him much. i knew he was poor. anyway FOR THE normal dad the child support system makes life increibly hard. I cant even have a bank account!! They freeze it immiediatly because of this BULLSHIT ARREARS. Turns out i have a warrant for my arrest in ny too, They thought i havnt been paying child support in yearts. SHIT, it was coming directly out of my check EVERY MONTH! All of a sudden a few months ago they started taking 200 with no warning. They said it was a mix up. Took fur months to fix. Apparently Fl started taking 100 because they thought i wasnt paying ny???wtf man?? My ArREARS have gone up and up now because of some glitch or something!SUX
    Sorry for the rant....if u can understand it......CONGRADULATIONS...maybe you can see how UNFAIR this is for me.
    Any HELPFUL/POSITIVE ideas wanted
    Has it been five years yet? ..........

    I believe in being supportive of each other here at CC. I also believe we should not blow smoke up each others' arses so I'm not going to blow it up yours now.

    When one has enough money for decent smoke and a fast car, one can pay child support.

    That your ex-g/f married a man who has a good income does not negate your responsibility as a father. That you receive x amount of SSDI and your child receives y, does not negate what you owe in child support.

    It's expensive to raise a child. Just covering the basics (health insurance, medical and dental co-pays, food, clothing, school supplies, personal hygiene items, a place to live, utilities, transportation, childcare (if her Mom and Stepfather work) for your little girl will cost in excess of $640/month. This doesn't begin to take care of any "extras" like orthodonitics, should she need braces, or toys or sports in which she may wish to participate.

    Yes, you were dealt a raw deal when you were shot. There is no denying that. Each of us here faces more day to day than most can imagine in a lifetime. We either deal and move on, make the best of what is left or we get stuck in thinking our lives totally blow so why bother?

    That you're seriously considering pot farming as a career move (in another thread) is disheartening. However, should you invest in the hydroponics and lights and have your utility bills bump enough to grow weed, the DEA and local LEOs will find you. Yes, they watch things like power bills. When you're busted you won't have to worry about your money anymore. You'll get three hots, a cot and jailhouse healthcare.

    Dude, you're young. You may be paralyzed, but you have your hands and arms. You can work, can have as full a life as you decide to make for yourself. You recently mentioned studying to get your GED. Good move. Go for it. Don't stop at that diploma.

    Find what you love and do it. Instead of talking about the college ed your ex-g/f has, get with voc rehab and get a degree of your own. Once you have an education it's something no one can ever take from you.

    If you don't like where you are and how it's going, work to make positive changes. Growing pot is not a good career move. Anyone who does it for any length of time gets busted and/or held up/shot/killed for herb.

    You may not get to choose your body, but you get to choose your life.

    Support your little girl by paying what you're due to pay each month. Show her what her life can be by making the best one possible for yourself.

    I wish you and your daughter the best.


      If you sincerely believe there has been a mix-up with your support, take every piece of documentation you have with you. I have absolutely no idea what protocal is in in your state, but typically with government entities if it isn't written down it didn't happen. I can only guess you will probably need;tax statements from the last 2 yrs, bank statements, ssi/ssdi paperwork, documentation of your hospitalization/rehab, and any Ct ordered support paperwork.
      It has already been stated how expensive it is to raise a child in a healthy manner, so I won't.
      I will say that I was a little suprised when I opened the thread and saw that that you started it. Honestly it was because of the prior car thread you had started. I'm sure you love the car, and I agree that you need reliable transportation. I think the system doesn't allow you alot of room to set yourself up foe success (IMO).
      I would hope that your heart is to do what is in the best interest of your daughter though. I admire you for keeping it real about your dad. Your able to say "ya he was a deadbeat" and "I loved him so much". I'm guessing on this, but it sounds like you lived with your mother. If your mom didn't receive support, that must have been a big load for her.
      I'm gonna give you the real on the farming, forget it. LaMemChoas gave you good info on the light bill. Maybe you might have been able to pull it off for a minute, but you have now already posted info online for the entire world to see. So everybody already knows your business, and it's not legal. Go to some kind of school if you can (you gotta ride there).
      I hope this doesn't sound harsh, this isn't my intent
      "We're one but we're not the same. We get to carry each other" U2


        I've tried not to post, but I feel obligated as the majority of your posts read as "woe is me." Any government (US, Canadian, etc) will not provide you with an income that you deem as appropriate. You are going to have to improve your own life through diligence and hard work. I would suggest going back to school ASAP otherwise you may never get ahead financially, and will most assuredly consider jaded by the system for not being presented with enough money. And if you acquire a felony for drug possession/distribution/etc, then I believe your existing SSDI benefits will be stripped. However, I would urge you to research the legalities yourself...


          What I could do if only I was a para instead of a quad.....
          "Never argue with an idiot; they'll drag you down to their level and other people may not be able to tell the difference."


            I think your number one priority in life should be to make sure your daughter knows you love her. Be in contact with her as much as humanly possible. After that you may want to think about getting in contact with voc rehab to start investigating what kind of job you can prepare for.


              Let me just say i bought my car out of the money victims comp. granted me. I cant remember the last time i had enough money to fill it with gas though. I honestly struggle and i thought that the money my daughter recieves should cover my child support. She gets more than she did before i was shot. Someone on thisforum is actually the one wh told me i shouldnt be payng if ssdi does.
              I unerstand it takes alot of money to raise a child. I do.
              I stepped out of my childs life from the age of 4-7 completly, except paying child support. It was the worse decision i EVER made. I couldnt handle having a relationship with her because of m own demons at the time.
              After being shot 5 times and actally living through it,i fealt there was a reason or it. The most imprtant thing i thought was that "my daughter knew me and knew i loved her. Thankfuly her mother let me start my relationship over with her. i now talk to her regularly(shouldbe more) and our relationship is growing. i only wish i saw her more and am considering daily moving back up north to be closer to her.
              DAMN do all my posts sound like woe is me? i hoped not but fuck, woe IS me. im going though the hardest thing imaginable(sci) and ifi shouldnt be paying that 100 a month cause the govt know i need it to eat than im not. I wish i could. As YOU all ADVISE, I Am taking the first steps to furthering my education ...getting a better a good job....relieving my financial stress.....being able to buy my daughter whatever she likes. Its gonna start with some remiedial math classes so i can pass the g.e.d. i know,.... sad. Then start with voc rehab n all. Seems daunting. One thing i know is it gonna take some time. Also seems like i should take advantage of any government assistance and loopholes to help me do so. Why, if not if i payed taxes half y life to gt them
              Has it been five years yet? ..........


                Hope you get your stuff straight.


                  Your child should get 1/2 of what you get in ssdi.....if you get 1000 a month your child gets 500....and the 500 does not come off your 1000 dollars you should not have to pay any outa pocket unless you make alot more money on the side...on the side I mean a annuity or interest or any other income. How it is in Michigan.
                  Only other thing I pay outa pocket is 50 percent of medical bills not covered by her insurance....which see remarried and her husband has insurance for him as she is to lazy to work.
                  I think something is messed up with your deal....hell she not gona complain if she gets to much...I would call the court back and complain or get a lawyer in NY and find out what the laws are in that state.


                    SSDI does not depend on income. child support does. try being a single, quad parent. and working and in pain.

                    i hope you get yourself in a responsible position as a parent. i know it's tough, but you and your daughter deserve it.

                    but more important is maintaining a relationship with your daughter. don't ever let money interfere with that and never bring it up with her.


                      Your little girl should be your most desired responsibility. I've read some of your posts, and it seems you need to grow up a a little barondidit.

                      Being a man means more than acting like a tough guy, it means providing for the life you created. Baby girls are more precious than most anything on this Earth. I'm sure you'll realize that in the months or years to come.

                      Do what you can to provide for your baby girl. If you don't get along with her mother, avoid communication not relating to the support of your baby.

                      Remember, she'll one day grow up, and you don't want her to think of you as a deadbeat, or as a person she dislikes.

                      good luck to you and your family
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                        It's great you're involved in your daughter's life again. Good going, Baron.

                        I'm a total Daddy's girl and cannot imagine how my life would have been without him. The same goes for my Mom, too.

                        Kudos to you for returning to your studies, for working to earn your GED. It seems others have given you good advice in this thread, especially Cass and rdf.

                        What you're doing (paying child support, re-establishing the relationship with your daughter and getting an education) may seem insurmountable, but just take it a step at a time. Slow and steady will win the race.

                        Hang in, Baron. You can do it.


                          Here is the hard truth. You have a most of us. You can sit around and wine with your hand out and wait for it to get better or you can get out and make it better for yourself and your child. Nobody is going to help you or her, not to the point of making any difference in either of your lives.

                          The government wants you to be dependent on them. Be dependent on yourself and both of you will benefit in the long run.

                          Sorry to be so harsh, but thats life. I broke my neck back in '93 and its has been an uphill battle but it is very doable...many folks here are living proof.

                          You have the right idea by going back to school. Just dont dick around doing it. Get it done and do it right. Dont listen to Voc Rehab and go into a trade, go get a professional degree. They will pay for it either way and its only one more year for you in school. It will pay for itself over the years.

                          Good luck.
                          C5-6 - 22 years


                            Originally posted by barondidit
                            I Am taking the first steps to furthering my education
                            That is spectacularly good news. Please let me know if there's any information regarding education that I can research for you. Like you said, definitely going to take awhile, but you are moving in a very positive manner.

                            Best wishes!


                              Originally posted by quartermile
                              Dont listen to Voc Rehab and go into a trade, go get a professional degree. They will pay for it either way and its only one more year for you in school. It will pay for itself over the years.
                              I concur, from personal experience. Go for a BA or BS degree in an area that interests you. Computer Sciense or MIS, or any IT related degree should afford you the salary and health coverage needed in this day and age. It's how I did it. I was a journeyman plasterer when I was injured, something I could never do again.

                              Think of your future, time truly does fly by much too fast, and we usually don't even notice. But one day, you'll be saying, how did I get so old? Hopefully when you reach that age, you will have had a good career and a 401K and personal savings, etc.

                              Good luck
                              Please donate a dollar a day at
                              Copy and paste this message to the bottom of your signature.