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    #61
    I think Andy would be terrific as a mod in this new forum!
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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      #62
      Teesieme,
      That's one HELL of a story,,, you really had some tough going, and I guess you know all too well what tough love is all about. I am working a little more and more, and I do alot of mechanical work, welding, and anything else i once did with ease. Yes it's been tough, and I've really only got my father to help me in and out of trouble. Of course he's brought a project home for me to help out now, and I'm off to read the riot act to him, sometimes he gets a little carried away. He almost refuses to beleive I can't do, me the dumb ass I am do that and more, guess I'm my own worst enemy. Hope you and your son can do better, sounds like he knows what he can and can't do, and what he wants to do.

      Comment


        #63
        The most devastating aspect of Bill's injury was losing his ability to work. He always did very physical work either pipelining or working with heavy equipment but had finally settled down driving a rig hauling into the States and across the prairies. He had bought his own truck and had partnered up with a fella that owned about 6 other trucks ... it seemed like a match made in heaven ... and then he got hurt !

        Things seemed bleak and then his partner suggested he do the dispatching for the company .... it took some determination on his part .. he had never so much as clicked a mouse up to that point but he taught himself to use the computer and utilize the internet and we thought he'd found his niche. Not ..... he got sick and stayed sick with a variety of ailments from pressure sores to a bad gall bladder ... his partner had to get someone else to do the dispatching and well ... the rest as they say is history. Even if he could go back to dispatching .. the drugs he takes now make his mind fuzzy, he has no stamina and has trouble concentrating.

        He does do some civic work ... he is a Town Councillor and does some work with the Rural Municipality sitting on various committees ... but its nothing compared to what he once did and even after almost 9 years it still breaks my heart to watch him "make the best of it" ! I'm probably going to be criticized for being sexist here but I've always believed that most men believe they "are" what they "do" (for a living) ... take that away from them and it devastates their soul . I have a feeling women by their very nature learn to adapt and find a fit with a little less emotional baggage .....
        ..... what do we think???? .... its okay .. you can hit me with your best shot ..

        Obieone
        I think the forum is a great idea by the way ... and Tees {{{hug}}} .. for you!!
        Last edited by Obieone; 1 Mar 2007, 10:26 AM.
        ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


        " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
        Jane Siberry

        Comment


          #64
          Originally Posted by Wheelieboy
          I am sure there are just as many people here who want to work as there are working
          Originally posted by Tiger Racing
          That's not the impression I get.

          C.
          I'll ask again.

          Originally posted by bob clark
          If I may be so inquisitive to ask, how are you employed?
          I'm forced to make some assumptions since I don't have any firsthand knowledge of you, your upbringing and current life. Be that as it may:

          What is your level of education? Do you work in the family business or have you been able, on your own, to secure employment apart from it?

          If it's the former, I'm curious to know how a child who grew up in a millionaire family is employed and just how much your employment has or is still costing your family? And how many alterations have been made on your behalf in the family workplace and how many "helpers" from your father's payroll does it take to keep you employed. And to keep you racing?

          If it's the latter, that is you doing it on your own, please explain to the rest of us how it's done? Maybe you could help here a little instead of just posting your self-righteous negativisms.

          As though I expect an honest and non-self-deluded answer.

          Someone such as yourself, who has been given so much and who has the nerve to question the "work ethic" of less fortunate others, especially post SCI, just boggles the mind.

          Perhaps, since my questions are directed to Tiger Racing, I should have posted this in the "Family" forum.

          B.
          "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." - Philo of Alexandria

          Comment


            #65
            Originally posted by Obieone
            ! I'm probably going to be criticized for being sexist here but I've always believed that most men believe they "are" what they "do" (for a living) ... take that away from them and it devastates their soul . I have a feeling women by their very nature learn to adapt and find a fit with a little less emotional baggage .....
            ..... what do we think???? .... its okay .. you can hit me with your best shot ..

            Obieone
            I think the forum is a great idea by the way ... and Tees {{{hug}}} .. for you!!
            For once, Obieone, you and I are in compleate agreement, at least about the sexual identity/adaptability thing. I'm just not like "most guys"; not like most people either and I have no problem with it.I like myself (a good thing, as I've got to live with me) and I like being different and have done so without regret since my forties.

            Sure, the higher ed./work/ssdi forum idea is not only a great one but fits in with one of the major themes/ethics of the CC Forums.

            Bob, you made my day (I'm easily pleased).
            "The world will not perish for want of wonders but for want of wonder."
            J.B.S.Haldane

            Comment


              #66
              the ability to return to work or work after injury has so many variables that it cannot be stereotyped.
              insurance is probably on of the biggest hurdles, it would be irresponsible to give up medicaid without a comparable insurance coverage. the number 1 cause of bankruptcy is medical bills in this country.
              type of employment before injury , can the person return to this work? many times this is impossible. the ada only protects you if you can do the essential task of your job.

              age at time of injury, if your older and have good benefits and savings from a lifetime of working and contributing to ssdi and your retirement plan, it may be counterproductive to return to work. life generally sucks after injury, make it less sucky by not having to deal with stupid employment issues is a huge plus. not having to get up in the morning and go to work in the morning is priceless is my book!
              chronic pain will keep someone out of the 9 to 5 workforce and school. they would have to be employed at places where not showing up at the drop of a hat is OK.
              living location and family situation is also another big plus or minus. if you live in the boondocks, you employment opportunities are limited.
              finances are a huge factor in returning to work. in order to work you may have to move to a urban environment where the cost of living is a lot higher the boondocks. education and living expenses while in college.
              having supportive family or being on your own is another deal breaker.
              Face it, family jobs are no different than living on state aid.
              Basically it all comes down to money, if you have plenty of money you can do whatever you want to do.
              cauda equina

              Comment


                #67
                Originally posted by Tiger Racing
                That's not the impression I get.

                C.
                I haven't wanted to pile on but here goes anyhow.

                At a recent meeting of peer mentors, we were talking about the Big Three Questions:
                1. Will I ever walk again
                2. Will I have sex again
                3. Will I be able to work

                The order in which those questions are asked is usually determined by age and gender of the new SCI. So I for one think that work is paramount on the minds of many people who are newly injured.

                I just finished a phone call with a newly injured patient, work was all she wanted to talk about. Finding purpose/self-worth is a big part of coming to terms with this new life. I find however, that the system seems designed to discourage people from pursuing work as an option.

                Conflicting rules, misintirpretrations, uncarging beauracrats, etc. create a mountian so high that some (many?) give up in frustration or fear of losing what little they do have. Once you navigate far enough into the system that you finally have medications, equipment, PCAs, SSDI payments, etc on an even keel, how much are you willing to risk to go back to work?

                IMHO, the "system" is hostile to those who wish to break out of the cookie-cutter mold we've been placed in. I don't blame those who have given up or gotten so much misinformation that they think they can't work.

                This proposed forum would be a great place to begin breaking down those obstacles.


                Disclaiimer: sliced off the top of my finger last niht. creates lots of typos.
                My blog: Living Life at Butt Level

                Ignite Phoenix #9 - Wheelchairs and Wisdom: Living Life at Butt Level

                "I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."

                Dawna Markova Author of Open Mind.

                Comment


                  #68
                  Originally posted by metronycguy
                  living location and family situation is also another big plus or minus. if you live in the boondocks, you employment opportunities are limited.
                  finances are a huge factor in returning to work. in order to work you may have to move to a urban environment where the cost of living is a lot higher the boondocks. education and living expenses while in college.
                  having supportive family or being on your own is another deal breaker.
                  Face it, family jobs are no different than living on state aid.
                  Basically it all comes down to money, if you have plenty of money you can do whatever you want to do.
                  You hit it dead on Mike. I live in a metro area and the opportunities are plentiful but the competition for jobs is ridiculous. I think the easiest way to get a gig post injury is through a network of contacts. Rolling around from interview to interview would get old quick. I think that we all can benefit from learning how to "pimp" the system.

                  Comment


                    #69
                    Originally posted by LaMemChose
                    There has to be a way, but what is that way? For those like Lizbv/Betsy and Cass, who have navigated the system to return to work, their experience can be extremly beneficial. What works for some may not work for others, but to know someone else has done it shows possibility.

                    .
                    Thanks Mem. there are others, also.

                    Comment


                      #70
                      Disclaiimer: sliced off the top of my finger last niht. creates lots of typos.

                      You're supposed to drop the knife off the counter, and onto your bare foot, the instep, take it from an expert, I do it often. I hate shoes, too much protection.

                      Comment


                        #71
                        probably a good idea to add financial to the work/employment
                        forum. caveat about buying a home, being a independent contractor as opposed to an employee. how not to invest any money you are saving.
                        cauda equina

                        Comment


                          #72
                          Originally posted by cass

                          anyway, one thing i'd like to say is: it is possible to work and get ssdi. this is due to work related expenses and solely dependent on those expenses offsetting SGA. i have explained this many times, but if there were a work forum, some of these basic facts (and a link to the SSA Redbook for U.S. folks) could be kept as a sticky at the top of the forum. just a thought.
                          excellent point

                          Originally posted by metronycguy
                          the ability to return to work or work after injury has so many variables that it cannot be stereotyped.
                          .
                          .
                          <snip for space>
                          .
                          .

                          Basically it all comes down to money, if you have plenty of money you can do whatever you want to do.
                          You hit all the key points of getting {back} to work right on!
                          Last edited by sjean423; 1 Mar 2007, 3:45 PM.
                          T7-8 since Feb 2005

                          Comment


                            #73
                            Originally posted by alhavel

                            You're supposed to drop the knife off the counter, and onto your bare foot, the instep, take it from an expert, I do it often. I hate shoes, too much protection.
                            LOL. There should be some cosmic law that having survived all of this, we should be exempt from hurting the places that we CAN feel!
                            My blog: Living Life at Butt Level

                            Ignite Phoenix #9 - Wheelchairs and Wisdom: Living Life at Butt Level

                            "I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."

                            Dawna Markova Author of Open Mind.

                            Comment


                              #74
                              alhavel, the road has been tough but not so tough as for others. Although I came close to losing my mind often enough...
                              I left out mucho parts, like my expressing to friends prior our departure of my getting hauled off to jail if anyone else tried to mess with me. heh.
                              As it turned out Motel hell (Studio Six) almost pushed me over the edge with charging my card over almost six hundred dollars besides not having the rooms we reserved and never getting them (on top of the kids initial room was reserved on the second floor...!). The cops were called about the 'lady' who scared the clerk as she was closing up, demanding they right their error that I'd caught days before... hee hee...~ first for me!

                              And then there was the day before I was to leave. I had just cried my heart out over all the bullshit we'd been through, only my sis truly giving a crap when I needed someone, to finally getting settled somewhat~ nothing was going right, the fridge, etc. then the washing machine broke... exhausted but thankful the kids had a place... well it's a good thing I had let it all out privately over a cup of crappachino, took a deep breath and got tough again as I do. Still a bit cranky, a bit peessed off but that was a good thing because-
                              after finally locating the laundromat while unloading laundry baskets, this car pulls up on the other side of my truck. I sensed something...especially when the guy bent to look quickly into the truck, then making his way around it way to fast. I had backed away from being caught inside the door...my instincts were telling me he was scary. So as I distanced myself from him, holding up the bleach bottle I was ready to swing at his head... I said calmly but firmly, "what's up?" I think I caught him off guard, he stopped and as he said "oh, I just thought you could use some help"...he slighty turned away and I caught a glimpse of something metal he slid from his palm into his jacket sleeve??? Naaaaah. :0
                              "No thanks, I said, but nice of you to offer." He then comes a bit closer, I back away more. He stops, I stop. Then says to me, "but I can wash your clothes for you"... Now I'm mad, athough I'm scared... so I tell him, "noooo, I will wash them. Listen, ummm, hey what's your name?" "Eduardo." "Okay, Eduardo, I am Teresa. Listen, I've had a really bad day, couple weeks, years and I am REALLY CRABBY! Thank you but it's best if you leave me alone, okay?!" *Zoinks!* Well, I think I flabbergasted him as I shocked myself, he paced a bit returning to his car, I watched him and then I boogied up to the laundromat.
                              I realized then I had just danced with a demon, as I began shaking. I was sooo upset at myself when I couldn't see his license let alone the make of the car...worrying for the next person he approaches. That part bothers me still.
                              What I think is if things woudn't have been so tough the last few weeks, I wouldn't have been on guard, and who knows. Sometimes it's good to cry and then get peessed.
                              (see betheny, I'd be good for DC...lol )

                              Anyhow, alhavel, it warms my heart that your father is there for you... and that you are able to read him the riot act lovingly, he believes in you~ way cool.

                              It's so true what you say metronguy, "...the ability to return to work or work after injury has so many variables that it cannot be stereotyped."

                              We really should and need to pull together on this, a forum with all branches of~ in one.

                              jen, i agree so much with your opinion of, ..."the "system" is hostile to those who wish to break out..." and being forced to make choices with"...how much are you willing to risk to go back to work?" The differences between ssi and ssdi are so mind boggling. Add the risks in ways of losing benefits medically, etc. as well physically. Ack!

                              Obie, it sounds like you have a most wonderful man, lucky you (and him).

                              ~as I read this now I'm thinkin' girl you must be in dire need of company, someone who's shared similar life experiences...perhaps I should edit and delete ...but nahhhh, this took just as long as the other to write, so far you've put up with me. okay...back to topic.
                              "I want to make a difference! However small it may be~ as long as it's a positive one, then this is what my life will have been about and I will go knowing I did my best.~ T.

                              Comment


                                #75
                                T,
                                Well I changed the oil, and serviced 2 trucks today, and built 28 feet of floor boards for a fish market, when I got done my father said to me, "This is the most work you've done in 3 years, all at once". Right now I'm so crippled it isn't even funny, 6 asprins, forgot morning med's, late on afternoons, it's a no wonder !! The grand finaly ? "You look shot, can you make it up the stairs?" Then he left to deliver the boards in MY truck, it's always a circus here. But I get stronger and better all the time, this time it may take a few days,,,OUCH!!!

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