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    #16
    Originally posted by fromnwmont View Post
    Thank you everyone! Guess I should have been more clear about "second in command" A: when Dept head is gone he is next in line to sign leave slips etc. B: Our Dept is one of many within a Federally reconized tribe, this is the third incident i have documented and even though I have several witnesses who already gave me written statements, I have never in my 28yrs here submitted ANY kind of complaint ánd confided myself to have thick skin but this incident really struck me wrong! His "comments" have escalated to the point someone is "getting it" weekly especially the entry level employees he has been written up but its been a couple years.
    Who is this guy, is he native too? Didn't his parents teach him not to make fun of disabled folks. I'm native too and I know how'd I (we) handle it but we are trying to be above that these days. Let us know what happens.
    A dolla makes me holla, honey boo boo! - borrowed from Honey boo boo child

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      #17
      i am not one to take crap, so i would report it in writing , cover all my bases, send a copy to a higher up, above the HR person, make sure that it is writing ir yu have nothing. That is what lawyers have told me over the years. Fax is also good, just make sure you get the sent receipt and attach it to your copy.
      i have dealt with these types of people in my work , before injury, as i wasnt there after injury, but i would just call them out and le them pt their mouth where my foot is. my work enviroment was hostile for 25 years so i learned how to deal with jerks. The worst thing you can do is ignore it. carry a recorder. even a ipod , it has a lot of apps that record .
      best bet woukd be to sit down with a lawyer now, so you know how to handle it abd what measures to take. Sending a letter to a couple of higher mangers and cc the lawyer, can make them take it serious, if they dont want to read about themselves in the paper. we had people drunk, drunk driving big trucks, handguns, firing handguns in company garages, and i only knew 10% of what went on.
      Being disabled fighting is not a good idea, i have to keep telling myself that!
      talk to a lawyer, it may cost you 100 it may cost you nothing, anymore than $100 =next lawyer, plus if they try to charge you without a signed contract or agreement , they cant. be aware most of the people that say they will sign a statement or stick-u may back out when it gets rough.
      If he is your supervisor you cant verbally confront him without fear of losing your job, so letters and lawyers come into play. i was also in a union job had been a steward so i knew the game, but i was amazed at how many men would take that stuff. Every state is different with employment law so lawyer is best bet, especially if supervisory position. on equal rank you can challenge him verbally. like what did you just say, repeat that please for everyone to hear. What did you say about my disability? record, get a little player that records everytime a noise is heard. it will hold 2 or 3 days worth. Lawyers like that kind of evidence. No more he said she said.
      Assholes suck, be ready for them the second time and you will do much better.
      cauda equina

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        #18
        I have to agree with lyniffer. I would try to resolve it on my own. I've done this successfully a few times. My manager jokingly said, during a fire drill on the 5th floor, let's just push her down the stairs, she'll get down there before any of us. Everyone laughed and went on down while I waited for the firemen to come up and carry me down. I was a little embarrassed at the attention it brought on to me and the fact that everyone laughed without asking what the plan was for me to get down. I though about it over night and went back to her in the morning and reminded her of The scenario that played out the previous day. She said oh yes, did u see how cute the firemen were. I told I didn't notice the fireman because my focus was on safely gettin down those stairs in my chair without hurting the back of the fireman. I said, tell me how you felt about saying we should just roll her down the stairs and she will make to the bottom before any of us. She said oh I was just kidding, I didn't realize you were sensitive about your disability and apologized. I said, my disability is not the sensitive issue here. The sensitive issue is that you opened the door up for others to be disrespectful in situation that might be challenging for me. I told her that my specific diversity training did not teach that we should talk in a disrespectful way to someone who is in a situation as this. I asked her how I could help her remember to utilize our diversity principals that we all agreed on during that training. She sat back in her chair and said wow. I didn't think of it that way and appreciate you taking the opportunity to educate me on a teachable moment. She is now my best friend since we don't work together anymore. Our husbands hang out together as well. I was glad we resolved it together rather that reporting it. I would save the letter in case u can't resolve it together.
        DFW TEXAS- T-10 since March 20th, 1994

        Comment


          #19
          did you seriously read the op's post on this page?

          btw, in a fire drill at my work, we don't have firepeople come in. four of my co-workers carried me down, chair and all (this was not required or asked of them. they volunteered). the company also was req. to install evac chrs at all staircases, instruct co-workers how to use them and assign 2 co-workers as my buddy system. i don't see anything laughable here.

          Comment


            #20
            in the wtc attack, there were quite a few good samatarians, that i dont think even worked with the various disabled people, some blind, some in chairs, they risked their lives not leaving them behind and waited and helped get them out, on the stairs. Fire drills are not a laughing matter especially by management,obvious this person was working above their ability, but i would have a letter written by a lawyer to the president of the company addressing these liability problems. Fire fighters will take over if they can and as long as the disaster is not on the evac floor or below and there should be a SOP on how the company is to handle the evac of all people with special needs and also a way that firefighters know in advance of what is going on. That is why a meeting place has to ne strictly enforced. you don't want anyone losing their life because a person was missing from their meeting point.
            Diasastor drils are no joke and anyone in a supervisory position that treats it as a joke, probably would not be working there to much longer, and employee that does the same and acts like they would not aid a person , shouls not be assigned a important function, and also have the higher mangement know they have a liability problem, cause once it is in writing and sent to the big wigs , it is a liabilityu, and if they try abd take payback type action, are most likely hanging themselves with their rope, unless your in texas or other backward state
            cauda equina

            Comment


              #21
              I am in Texas and the policy was to only allow the firemen to carry me down the stairs unless we smelled smoke or saw flames. I was to wait on the stairwell landing until they came up to get me. I personally like that plan and don't want some untrained person trying to carry me any where. Too many people would use that as an excuse to say they hurt their back and bring a law suit against the company. People need to work things out together before taking such extreme action with lawyers and HR IMO. So many things can be turned around and people can learn from each other with a good result if we communicate a little better. It seems like going straight to HR or lawyers is skipping a few steps in the process. I wouldn't feel right going to tell on someone when I didn't even try to resolve it on my own. Middle school and High school students do that, not adults.
              DFW TEXAS- T-10 since March 20th, 1994

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                #22
                Well after reading what I consider great advice and sleeping on it all weekend I like the idea of handing my wonderfully written complaint to him personally and telling him I have the right to turn this into our personnel Dept. If he continues to harass. 90% of us are tribal, we do not have a HR Dept we have a "personnel Dept" . When I was AB this person would been dusting himself off for saying crap like that to me,, that's a big part of it for me I guess

                Comment


                  #23
                  Originally posted by offroaderswife View Post
                  I have to agree with lyniffer. I would try to resolve it on my own. I've done this successfully a few times. My manager jokingly said, during a fire drill on the 5th floor, let's just push her down the stairs, she'll get down there before any of us. Everyone laughed and went on down while I waited for the firemen to come up and carry me down. I was a little embarrassed at the attention it brought on to me and the fact that everyone laughed without asking what the plan was for me to get down. I though about it over night and went back to her in the morning and reminded her of The scenario that played out the previous day. She said oh yes, did u see how cute the firemen were. I told I didn't notice the fireman because my focus was on safely gettin down those stairs in my chair without hurting the back of the fireman. I said, tell me how you felt about saying we should just roll her down the stairs and she will make to the bottom before any of us. She said oh I was just kidding, I didn't realize you were sensitive about your disability and apologized. I said, my disability is not the sensitive issue here. The sensitive issue is that you opened the door up for others to be disrespectful in situation that might be challenging for me. I told her that my specific diversity training did not teach that we should talk in a disrespectful way to someone who is in a situation as this. I asked her how I could help her remember to utilize our diversity principals that we all agreed on during that training. She sat back in her chair and said wow. I didn't think of it that way and appreciate you taking the opportunity to educate me on a teachable moment. She is now my best friend since we don't work together anymore. Our husbands hang out together as well. I was glad we resolved it together rather that reporting it. I would save the letter in case u can't resolve it together.
                  Very impressive. But it took two professional women to sit down and talk this out.

                  I don't think the OP would get that reaction from her boss since he is already guilty of others and has been written up for it. What are your thoughts on this? In my experience, it is easier to talk to women superiors like you did above and come back with much much stronger relationships even personally as indicated you are now best friends. I have had lots of "moments" like this even with nurses who had no idea even though they learned anatomy and physiology in nursing school.

                  I think this is just amazing that you could do this with your boss. I liked turning bad situations into teachable moments for my employees too....especially when they were squabbling among themselves. It leaves much more of an impact.

                  But some personalities just can't be impacted...no matter what you do. Some people are bullies and this guy sounds like one.
                  T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

                  My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Originally posted by fromnwmont View Post
                    I do not have to tell anyone here how much work it takes to just be able to "walk" after a spinal injury, I have been back to work part time for a several weeks now and Thursday as i walked down the hall from the rest room another employee stopped and asked "does walking like that make you feel better" as he did a hunchback impression dragging one foot (like I do) then said "maybe we can all walk like that"!! for hours i sat and wondered how was that suppose to be funny? this individual is second in command who really needs to retire, acts miserable daily for having to be there, I have written a complaint letter to his supervisor but have not turned it in yet taking the weekend to think about it, I felt he was just plain being mean and making fun of me, I am not his first victim. What are your thoughts?? am i being over sensitive?
                    Sorry to hear that happened..

                    As for my thoughts, I think you missed an excellent opportunity to put this person in his place. I really don't know how anyone could allow someone to talk to them in that way. I don't care who this person is, or what would come of you responding to their comments, you just don't let them get away with talking to you like that.

                    I understand what it feels like for someone to make comments like that, because in the past I've had to put people in there place for some of the rude/inconsiderate comments they've made to me about my walking and such. I will say that after putting them in their place I haven't had another problem with them saying anything like that to me ever again.

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Tribal employment

                      I want to thank everyone who gave me input i am sure there is someone else on this site who works or has worked for their tribe, many rules are overlooked or only apply to some.. When i was AB I had to toss this individual against the wall for making an off handed mean comment about my son who had recently committed suicide, I believe now that I am no longer AB and weak in his eyes he thinks its payback time!! We used to get along until he was passed up for the Dept head position now everyday he needs to make a comment about the YOUNGER person who did get the position, about a gay man who works here or the gal who suffers from Manic depression who some days is so hyper it does get frustrating, he continually walks the halls to see who is late or gets back from lunch late so he can make a comment, he is refer d to as the "hall monitor" several others have made verbal complaints to his supervisor and were told "don't take it personal that's just Bill that is just how he is we just tolerate him" I have been here 27-28yrs and have always gotten along and handled all of my issues personally. I gave him the letter this a.m. and he claims he was just "joking around" I asked him how was it suppose to be funny? he said I guess it really wasn't funny was it... Time will tell how this shakes out....

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Originally posted by fromnwmont View Post
                        I want to thank everyone who gave me input i am sure there is someone else on this site who works or has worked for their tribe, many rules are overlooked or only apply to some.. When i was AB I had to toss this individual against the wall for making an off handed mean comment about my son who had recently committed suicide, I believe now that I am no longer AB and weak in his eyes he thinks its payback time!! We used to get along until he was passed up for the Dept head position now everyday he needs to make a comment about the YOUNGER person who did get the position, about a gay man who works here or the gal who suffers from Manic depression who some days is so hyper it does get frustrating, he continually walks the halls to see who is late or gets back from lunch late so he can make a comment, he is refer d to as the "hall monitor" several others have made verbal complaints to his supervisor and were told "don't take it personal that's just Bill that is just how he is we just tolerate him" I have been here 27-28yrs and have always gotten along and handled all of my issues personally. I gave him the letter this a.m. and he claims he was just "joking around" I asked him how was it suppose to be funny? he said I guess it really wasn't funny was it... Time will tell how this shakes out....
                        I'm happy for you that you confronted him about it. He sounds like an idiot. Hope everything works out for you.....
                        DFW TEXAS- T-10 since March 20th, 1994

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Originally posted by fromnwmont View Post
                          When i was AB I had to toss this individual against the wall for making an off handed mean comment about my son who had recently committed suicide, I believe now that I am no longer AB and weak in his eyes he thinks its payback time!! We used to get along until he was passed up for the Dept head position now everyday he needs to make a comment about the YOUNGER person who did get the position, about a gay man who works here or the gal who suffers from Manic depression who some days is so hyper it does get frustrating, he continually walks the halls to see who is late or gets back from lunch late so he can make a comment, he is refer d to as the "hall monitor" several others have made verbal complaints to his supervisor and were told "don't take it personal that's just Bill that is just how he is we just tolerate him"
                          Wow. The more I learn about this person's behavior on the job, the more it becomes clear that he should have received counseling and on-the-job monitoring (or been fired) ages ago.
                          MS with cervical and thoracic cord lesions

                          Comment


                            #28
                            cant believe u said nothing right then and there....i guess its the new yorker in me but i definitly wouldnt have gone away pondering what just happened..it woulda been dealt with right then...especially at a part time job that you have only been at a few weeks....stand up for yourself, assholes like that need to be dealt with....wheather it be just saying something(polite/or not) to let him know its wrong...

                            oh ok i didnt look right above...good deal....
                            - Rolling Thru Life -

                            Comment


                              #29
                              gut reaction was to drop him

                              Originally posted by roc21 View Post
                              cant believe u said nothing right then and there....i guess its the new yorker in me but i definitly wouldnt have gone away pondering what just happened..it woulda been dealt with right then...especially at a part time job that you have only been at a few weeks....stand up for yourself, assholes like that need to be dealt with....wheather it be just saying something(polite/or not) to let him know its wrong...

                              oh ok i didnt look right above...good deal....
                              Not sure where part time few weeks came from I have been there 27-28yrs full time BUT I have only been back part time since my accident could be where confusion came from, my gut reaction was to drop him in his TRACKS! but I would been in trouble he the victum believe me it took all I had to keep walking I do work in a regulatory office so I have thick skin. It appears enough people heard his bantering because the Dept head wants to meet tomorrow morning and bill avoided me all day.

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                                #30
                                Glad it worked out. Watch your back.
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                                Thanks!

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