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  • #16
    Originally posted by jody View Post
    as a former care attendant and house keeper, I can pretty much guarantee you wont find anyone to clean up your in your own words gross apartment.

    motivation can be difficult if you dont know where to start. I understand fatigue, and especially fatigue after bathing. my home is respectable because I dont have the energy to let it get gross anymore because its just too hard to get looking clean again.

    move to a more accessible apartment.
    as you pack, and you can take months to do that if you want, get rid of shit that is just making either more work, or you can live without. working toward a more accessible apartment can really change how you feel, because getting outside in the sun for a half hour or so a day can get rid of depression, and give you energy. just reading a book in the yard, or sitting on the porch folding laundry, (that's getting your sunshine and getting that pile of laundry whittled away at).

    start with one thing that you can finish in less than a half hour. do one thing a day if you have to, just nothing is going to change at all if you dont start somewhere.

    can you hire someone to help you bathe? I doubt you would get approved a state paid care giver, and most folks cant afford to pay out of pocket. I know I cant, but if it came down to bathing, and dressing problems, and preparing meals, you can get help for that. I find it painful to lift my arms to my head due to bad shoulders and muscle weakness, do you have a hand held shower head, as well as a shower chair? also their are some great shower chairs that are easy to transfer from.
    Thank you, Jody. I don't want anyone to clean my house- I want help to help me clean it. Hmm perhaps I don't know for sure what I would expect them to help with- I should think about this. In my head I push the vacuum and they pull it back closer to me if I can't quite get it back on my own. How, in reality, would that work? lol I'm so silly sometimes.

    We are moving in a month (or so- depends on when the other tennant moves out) to an apt on the first floor. We are getting rid of so much- and yes it is very very liberating! I got a Kindle for my birthday so I got rid of all of my books- now there is more room in the dining room. This is also creating a big mess of piles of 'to go' and 'to storage' piles- I think this also weighs on my feeling that my house is dirty. There is no food or animal waste laying around- it's just piles of things. I'm ready to fling it all out the nearest window!

    I live on the third floor and there is a door at the bottom and a door at the top (my apt) so in order to have someone come over I have to get down the stairs and back up to let them in and the same when they leave. There is no remote door-opener, it's a deadbolt. This wasn't really a problem until about a year ago. Now? It's a huge PITA.

    I love that shower chair- mine just sits in the tub. We have a clawfoot tub and I was so happy to find a chair that fit inside the tub. The downstairs apt has a clawfoot tub too but the bathroom door faces a large room instead of a hallway so I'm hoping to put on extension hinges so I can get my wheelchair into the bathroom- that'll be a big help.

    Thanks for your words- I now have a picture of me sitting outside in the shade. Outside my clean house and I'm very very excited/hopeful. It helps to have a goal to work toward.

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    • #17
      about a cleaning lady. when I workd for a lady with MS, I did vacuuming, dusting floors, tubs, toylets, trash, and recycling, and watered her plants. I came in twice a month and was paind 50.00 each time.

      later when I was the care aid, I did what was listed above, also prepared meals, took her to appointments, shopping, and helped a little with bathing and dressing if it was needed. I worked four hours a day and was paid 8.50 and hour. she now has four aids during the week, and a weekend aid, so as her needs were increasing so did her care hours, but you would need to be evaluated by physiatrist and I forget what other kind of person, and they fill out paperwork stating your needs, and abilities. eventually they tell you how many hours you are allowed to hire help.

      Its great you are moving soon. that will help a lot not having stairs.

      can you place a small ceramic heater in the bathroom to prevent you from getting too cold while bathing?

      and can you fold clothes? im not too neet about it, and it used to bother me, but I got used to it. I am terrible at putting my clean laundry away. I buy all white or black socks and throw them in a drawer, no sorting or folding there. most stuff stays folded in tubs in my closet, because once its washed dried and folded, im sick of it.

      I am fortunate to have a washer and dryer that were gifts. before that my roomie and I went to a laundramat about twice a month, for five years.

      scrub brush on a stick helps with doing the tub. that is hard for me to do. so is sweeping, an vacuuming, so I rest when I need to. once you get moved, how about a robot vaccume. id love one now that my apartmen is wall to wall carpet.

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      • #18
        I agree with you 100% on not having your hubby be your caregiver, if at all possible. But as far as some of the housework, mine has taken over a few things that we used to share, specifically laundry and vacuuming. Oh, and cleaning the bathroom w/ the narrow door. He cleans that one, and I clean mine. My laundry is in the basement, and while I might make it DOWN there, I would never make it back up, lol. I really want laundry stuff on the main floor, but that isn't in the budget for a long time.

        I am w/ lynnifer on mopping. I chase the cat and dog hairs with a mop every couple of days (more during shedding times) and then my husband just has to do the area rug in the living room.

        As far as the kitchen goes, everything will be in a new place anyway, so put things away where you can both get at it .... leave anything high for things only hubby uses, or things that only come out if you have company around, and someone can grab it for you. (For example, my big platter is high up). I doubt he will mind if he has to bend down to get the cereal, instead of reaching up.

        I hate hate cold bathrooms too, but the hand held shower wand will make that better, the water will go where you want it. If the landlord won't go for it, you can get ones that attach to the tub spout. It will make washing your hair easier too. I had to have my hubby help me in the shower when first home, and I hated it .... it is NOT the same as showering together pre accident, that is for sure! And I really only needed help getting in and out too. As far as the cold, I had a portable heater I use sometimes to crank the heat up in there too, before I took a shower.

        If changing your hairstyle to something easier isn't an option, maybe having him just help you with your hair wouldn't be as "caregiver-y"?

        Thinking, starting from scratch in a new place, maybe you could have someone come in and clean occasionally .... do the big stuff, so you can keep up with the rest? I don't know if that would be an option financially (it isn;t for me )
        T7-8 since Feb 2005

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        • #19
          Very good ideas! I had counted the handheld shower out without trying it- I'll go buy one this week and try it out. Thank goodness for Amazon lol

          I never thought to use a mop as a vacuum. It makes sense as its much easier to move one around. It's just not how I was taught to do it so it never occurred to me. Used to get in trouble if I mopped without vacuuming first

          I have a wonderful space heater- it looks like a little stove fireplace. With flames and everything- that's going to be amazing looking in the bathroom! I'm very excited about that idea and being warm while I bathe. Once again- never occurred to me to use a space heater.

          I wonder if those Roomba vacuum cleaners do well on hardwood? Wonder how much my kitties would hate it lol I thought about buying one of those portable washers but then knowing me I'd forget to plug a hole and have a kitchen full of suds.

          I am now going over all the stuff (mainly kitchen stuff) and thinking about where to really put it. Do I actually use it or do I just *think* I do? Like pots and pans- I use baking pans often but not sauce pans because to make a good sauce I have to stand by the stove the whole time- not happening anymore. So I end up making casseroles instead. Never really thought about splitting things up- it's just never how I had done it.

          Well, today has been a huge "Ah hah!" day! Moments of clarity

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          • #20
            The roomba and scooba are pieces of junk - I tried them.
            Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

            T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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            • #21
              I keep hearing from friends about the Dyson vacuum cleaner. Is it self-propelled? I know they make a wireless version. Probably expensive as hell, though.
              Please donate a dollar a day at http://justadollarplease.org.
              Copy and paste this message to the bottom of your signature.

              Thanks!

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              • #22
                You can get a handheld shower that attaches to your regular shower outlet. No need to contact the landlord for permission in most cases. Simply twist off the existing shower head and put the handheld on in its place. They even come with a bracket to hold the handheld at regular height so other people don't have to adjust. don't get one of those that just push onto the tub faucet. They suck.
                Anything worth doing, is worth doing to excess

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by BlueRing View Post
                  Never really thought about splitting things up- it's just never how I had done it.
                  And in my kitchen, stuff is REALLY split up .... I have a very small kitchen to start with, so space is at a consideration. At one point I have 4 plates, 4 bowls, 4 mugs and a bunch of cups on the lowest shelf of my cabinet. Then the rest of the stuff, which I would only need if we had company, up on the higher shelves.

                  Groceries are split .... I have a nice lazy susan system in the corner of my kitchen cabinet. It holds most of the stuff I need, but I pretty much only have one of anything .... then of things I use often (say tomato sauce) a couple more cans on the top shelf, where someone could easily grab it for me, then if there wasn't more room there, there might be a couple more in the "pantry" space in the basement. Baking pans are in 2 places .... the ones I use often on a low shelf, and others, like the heart pan I use for my daughters birthday, and the pie pans I only use at thanksgiving (since I never make 2 pies at a time any other time) are on a high shelf.

                  It makes it a bit like a treasure hunt when my grown kids come to visit, and try to cook .... they have top think where something would be. (But my husband has no problem .... as long as he can find the peanut butter, he is happy if I am happy .... so I bet yours won;t care where you put things either.)

                  Oh, and skippy is right, the nozzle I was thinking of DID hitch to the shower part not the tub part. I had it when my kids were small for shampoos.

                  What I REALLY want is two shower heads, one to spray on my back, while I use the other one to wash everything else. THEN I will be warm.
                  T7-8 since Feb 2005

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                  • #24
                    funny sjean.

                    roombas are bad if you have a pet that has accidents. the roomba doesnt know it just ran through a fresh pile of poo, and if it does happen like it did to my neighbor once, you realise that thing covers a lot of erratic ground all over the house before it goes back to its bed to recharge. I mean poo all over that house. good thing it doesn't do stairs.

                    for the shower head, it just screws on, after unscrewing the shower head that is on it. you just switch em back when you move.
                    Last edited by jody; 05-19-2011, 02:04 AM.

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                    • #25
                      I think you mentioned your new apt would still have some stairs, would it be possible to find a completely accessible apt? Do you have an Independent Living Center somewhere nearby where you could possibly learn about some accessible options? Also, they may know about community agencies which could provide some housekeeping services, some pca care if needed. Always remember, no 2 disabilities are alike, don't compare yourself to others as to whether you should be doing this or that independently - your body will tell you what it can or can't do, but what you can't do right now may be possible in 6 months if you work on your stamina and strength. Use assistive technology like the right shower chair, shower head, etc. This stuff makes evertthing easier and here (CC) is the best place to learn about what's out there.

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                      • #26
                        Last night I decided I would do all my floors in the condo this morning ... still trying to talk myself into it ... but it will get done. Got my new steam mop <-- happy. lol
                        Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                        T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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                        • #27
                          What did you decide to do Bluering? I hope you decide to at least have someone help a little.

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                          • #28
                            I did my floors the next day and because I've been so sedentary while waiting for the hysto, it took me twice as long (almost 4hrs!!!) and I'm sore for the first time but I did it ... a day late.

                            I was distracted yesterday by the nice weather so I went outside and swept my concrete tiny patio, straightened up a bit and then sat there with the cats. The sun sure exhausted me though and I slept really well and deeply for the first time in a long time last night.

                            (Trying to motivate you or should I just STFU? lol)

                            Hopefully you get a more accessible place.
                            Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                            T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by jody View Post
                              funny sjean.

                              roombas are bad if you have a pet that has accidents. the roomba doesnt know it just ran through a fresh pile of poo, and if it does happen like it did to my neighbor once, you realise that thing covers a lot of erratic ground all over the house before it goes back to its bed to recharge. I mean poo all over that house. good thing it doesn't do stairs.

                              for the shower head, it just screws on, after unscrewing the shower head that is on it. you just switch em back when you move.

                              You are starting to compete with Mr Coffee for shit stories LOL

                              I love it but I could not imagine it!!!!
                              T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

                              My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

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                              • #30
                                Bluering

                                You need to eliminate the stairs and steps if at all possible.

                                I understand about frustration with piles. I have been downsizing the last few months. I have been getting rid of stuff because I have to live in a smaller space. I too have gotten rid of books and had a yardsale. I have kept the stuff that means something to me. I got rid of all the tables and junk collectors. I used to collect picture frames. I took all the pictures out and sold them in my yardsale and what I didn't sell...I gave away. It frees the mind to know you don't have to take care of so much stuff anymore. I have books that I don't want to get rid of.

                                I think we get sentimental and think we have to keep everything.

                                Now that you are moving...go through and get rid of most stuff if you have not used it within the last 6 months. I got rid of lots of clothes even though I probably could wear them...I just got tired of having an overstuffed closet. I gave to my girlfriend and her family.

                                I have also stopped buying stuff.

                                Another thing I used to do that may help you is when mopped I would use an office chair with wheels... I know stamina/falls is your biggest problem. I never had a wheelchair except a loner for surgery. I used that office chair for all kinds of things. I put my laundry basket on it and transported laundry back n forth between rooms. I took my daughter for rides around the house in it...she was a little tike. If something needed to get from one room to the other, I used that chair. LOL

                                If all else fails...hire someone to do your mopping/vacumming for you. There is no shame in that.

                                I would encourage you to workout and get excercise though...if you don't use it you will lose it. We have all been through periods when we have to build our strength back up because we have had illness. I would do as much as I can for as long as I can.

                                I also want to add that the more you don't do the quicker you are going to fatigue...you know the old saying "no pain no gain". The less I do the more I hurt some days and the more I lay around the more fatigue I have. I didn't read your first post before replying to this. I worry you may be depressed about your situation. I have never went more than two days without a shower unless hospitalized and I shower daily. Have you spoken to your doctor regarding this?

                                Good luck and hope the new apartment works out...I could not imagine living on the third floor and doing stairs everyday.
                                Last edited by darkeyed_daisy; 05-21-2011, 06:24 PM.
                                T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

                                My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

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