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    #76
    Originally posted by KK11 View Post
    Francais judged me cause Im german you should rather think about those terms I would suggest but again if it was too insensitive than sorry....
    Es war ein Scherz, du Arschloch.

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      #77
      Originally posted by ketamine kitty View Post
      " This is core to why I believe that we shouldn't be kicking around opinions that may cost someone their life and bring irreconcilable loss to their survivors. "

      to whom? my 8 brothers, not 1 of whom has yet to visit me since my accident approximately 13 years ago but are OK if I come see them?

      My 4 kids? 1 of whom shows up once a year? the closest in town never visited me or sat with me during any of the spinal surgery recoveries, visited 2x in the 8-10 times I've been in hospital.

      I won't say there will not be loss but really...

      and am I to live in agony so they are not inconvenienced?

      actually the 2 people who would suffer the most fully expect this to be my end and they understand and have verbally shared this and spoken to me about it in a meaningful way, them being the only ones even remotely engaged anymore..

      I have no venom to those who are absent, I'm fucking inconvenient and hard to be around and to watch, but I do not live for them.
      I answer in the following order

      My God
      Me
      My Family (when they needed me as infants children etc)
      all else by situation

      kindly,

      ket
      Ket, if your family members had visited when you had had surgeries and were to visit more frequently now, if they were to include you more in their lives and themselves in your life, would you be less inclined to consider suicide as an option for your life?

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        #78
        Originally posted by Le Type Fran├žais View Post
        Es war ein Scherz, du Arschloch.
        Dann sag es doch gleich du Vogel

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          #79
          would i change my mind

          Originally posted by LaMemChose View Post
          Ket, if your family members had visited when you had had surgeries and were to visit more frequently now, if they were to include you more in their lives and themselves in your life, would you be less inclined to consider suicide as an option for your life?
          No Todd I would not. But the constant "what about your family " annoys me. Really no venom but they need to live their own lives and should.

          This was a very reasonable question based on my post.

          I would do it for me. Reguars here know i have tried EVERYTHING with no relif at all. The only thing is an IT baclofen pump tha diminishes the spasms by 50%. Never gone but mostly tolerable. But the central pain, the constant agonozing pain, ...all that i am is all gone. 1 maybe 2 tolerable hours a day. Not a night's sleep in 13-14 years.

          No, friend, this is only about me and annoyance with family does not overshadow my love for them or life. I guarantee if I were anyone here' s pet they would put me down out of love, not keep me in this state to satisfy their needs.

          Resptfully,

          Ket

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            #80
            Originally posted by ketamine kitty View Post
            No Todd I would not. But the constant "what about your family " annoys me. Really no venom but they need to live their own lives and should.

            Ket
            Ket, I know I'm hard to forget, but you must let me go. Love you, mon ami.

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              #81
              I have neuropathic pain in one leg. ONE LEG. If Ket has it in every limb from the nipples down than I can't say I blame him one bit. My one leg makes me want to rip it off on occasion, I can't even imagine living with that kind of pain.

              I totally get it.

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                #82
                I get it as well. I think if a person has explored every medical procedure or therapy and still does not have a quality or life then its there choice.

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                  #83
                  Bill, I get it too. If life has no joy and no hope, and unceasing pain, there are not many who would NOT make plans for a way away from it. I know this subject is pretty polarized, and I think that's good- because not every person who considers or commits suicide should do so. I feel nobody but the individual and that person's loved ones should have input as to the when. As for how...that is very personal, and I don't think should ever be discussed on this forum.

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                    #84
                    back on track

                    seems we are back on track thankfully.

                    For myself, while a rea and viable option, i have committed to the prialt trial for several more months and continue to look for life options.

                    I am in a bad way and can't manage much extra. Have some things to post here and some pic for that thread.

                    Ket

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                      #85
                      Before my disabling event, I had periodic suicidal thoughts throughout my life when situations seemed horrid and unending. Once as a teen I made a feeble attempt. Not until after my event (at age 52) did I truly get serious enough to make a detailed, viable plan. Because of my many experiences with less serious thoughts in the past, I recognized I should talk with someone before acting. Luckily the first antidepressant I tried worked, and my psychiatrist says many more exist if that one stops working. I'm well out of danger now (4-years after seeking help), and am very glad to be here.

                      Many techniques helped manage my pain. I tried many over several years. Narcotics were horrible for me. Myofascial massage, physical therapy, anti-depressant, and pain-management psychological training have been the successful ones for me. Currently my pain seems minor, and life is good.

                      Notes: 1) My pain is not neuropathic. 2) My first wife's grandfather committed suicide in the late '70's, and its' haunted family members ever since. He had been a vibrant law-enforcement officer, and became bedfast because of emphysema in his retirement, so he had 'good' cause, but it still haunts the survivors. 3) One of my best friend's sisters committed suicide in the mid 70's because of chronic pain. She was 20something. We miss her.
                      Last edited by chasmengr; 21 Jun 2013, 3:56 PM.
                      Chas
                      TiLite TR3
                      Dual-Axle TR3 with RioMobility DragonFly
                      I am a person with mild/moderate hexaparesis (impaired movement in 4 limbs, head, & torso) caused by RRMS w/TM C7&T7 incomplete.

                      "I know you think you understand what you thought I said, but what I don't think you realize is that what you heard is not what I meant."
                      <
                      UNKNOWN AUTHOR>

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                        #86
                        restart

                        only one answere my question, what would you want said to you, or left for you if this is a foregone conclusion.

                        Given the option of them not know it was self termination or other complications from your condition, what path would you take, say nothing, leave nothing and expire or

                        to those I leave behind, I want you all to know you've always shared my darkest hours I'll miss you where I go.

                        respectfully,

                        ket

                        uh this is not my goodbye, I think I would say goodbye here among us

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                          #87
                          Originally posted by ketamine kitty View Post
                          only one answere my question, what would you want said to you, or left for you if this is a foregone conclusion.

                          Given the option of them not know it was self termination or other complications from your condition, what path would you take, say nothing, leave nothing and expire or

                          to those I leave behind, I want you all to know you've always shared my darkest hours I'll miss you where I go.

                          respectfully,

                          ket

                          uh this is not my goodbye, I think I would say goodbye here among us
                          I certainly wouldn't want to be put on a guilt trip for hastening the inevitable because my quality of life went to the shits. I don't think much of the people left behind, if they got on with life when you were injured, they'd get on with life without you existing. They'll be masturbating or fucking someone in no time, which means they're likely not thinking of you when doing it. They want to call you selfish for not sticking around, but that's merely because they're thinking of themselves.

                          It's very difficult, Ket, it's as if being stuck between a rock and a hard place, truly. You don't want to die, but neither do you want to live the life you're living. It's a horrible choice.

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                            #88
                            Look at it this way: At least you HAVE people to 'splain things to.

                            8yrs in my condo - dad's visited 3x (once to use the washroom), brother 3x (the one I started speaking to again - 3x in two years which isn't bad at all and he checks on me by text once per week but uses the excuse of sports scores, lol), my sister 3x's in 8yrs. I haven't seen her in over two.

                            My niece and nephew whom I spoiled as kids have been down once ... and only because I was throwing a huge bbq steak dinner as I won some money.

                            I can't imagine your pain .. but I'd rather not do it alone, ya know?

                            I've had almost 3 decades to think about it and I would drive off somewhere to a place I've always wanted to see (for me it's the ocean) and do it that way. (Hoping by the time I get there that I'd change my mind).

                            Or spend that time fighting for the right to die with dignity paving the way for others ... I certainly hope that option is there for me at the end.
                            Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                            T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

                            Comment


                              #89
                              Originally posted by Jessicam14 View Post
                              I have neuropathic pain in one leg. ONE LEG. If Ket has it in every limb from the nipples down than I can't say I blame him one bit. My one leg makes me want to rip it off on occasion, I can't even imagine living with that kind of pain.

                              I totally get it.
                              I want to cut my whole body off. Where's a guillotine and a queen to insult when I need one?


                              Suicide is only an option for those who have the capability to execute that option.
                              Alan

                              Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

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                                #90
                                I no longer think about suicide daily, but I'm 13 years post and in my early 30s. I have no illusions that I will age gracefully, barring a significant "cure" in the very near future - which seems unlikely given Wise's decision to go "all-in" on the party trick horse-shit in Kunming. I take comfort in the fact that suicide is out there somewhere, waiting with open arms - like the father in the prodigal son parable - whenever my body starts to call it quits. My family can know or not know. I've accomplished more than most men, and without the use of my legs. And with very little help from my family. I don't fear their judgment, nor do I feel a strong need to shelter them from reality.

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