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Depression and suicide lines........

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  • #31
    Dear Gary i am a T11 complete.

    Yes i have suffered from being depressed, it was i also who wanted to set up a forum here about the topic. It is people like you whom i wish to make contact with, share an experience and build on one anothers hopes. I know where your coming from i feel pain 24Hrs daily too. Anyway i am married to a lecturer wife with an 11 year old daughter. i was a marathon runner, private electrical/plumbing contractor and also/still am a lecturer in a building and construction institute. I got injured in my own construction site where i was building a 5 story building so i could offer contracting services/supplies. i have worked in construction all my life, I have also installed power supplies to pontoons and boats if that is your world.

    my character is explosive but i am very emotional to other peoples pain.
    3 months after injury i was back to work full time as a lecturer. Life is different now however i have again started my own personal building project and buisness but only as owner shareholder. i will later on post about it when the build is complete (that is if i am not banned due to an insult response explosion). yes there still is life in a chair that is my message i want to give to you.
    In construction i am a control freak and where money is concerned too. I have come here to the CC to make friends some i have made others just don't want to know. Sad but its their loss.
    Anyway yes i do relate depression to boredom.


    BTW to those who call me a BS
    go oil you BS machines in the RS
    Last edited by peterf; 06-18-2012, 03:33 AM.

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    • #32
      Gary,

      I am coming up on my 3 year anniversary, and I deal with pain as well. I dread falling asleep because waking up is the worst part of the day for me. It is honestly one of the things I worry about is how many mornings I can face waking up in pain. You have made it 30 fucking years man, that is so amazing to me. You do beautiful work, you have good friends here on care cure and I am sure things will get better.

      Tom

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      • #33
        Originally posted by garyv View Post
        Peter I appreciate your comment and I dont know your injury, BUT wait 30 more years to be in a lot of other peoples shoes when you are unable to work full time because of pain and I aggree to a small point that boredom could be a small factor but just wait until you are not able to concentrate on your work because the pain is so bad that it makes it unbearable to get out of bed in the morning.
        Also I dont know your financial position either but mine is to try living with a small SS check and pay 2 mortgages and pay meds and co pays for the constant pain clinic visits..

        I believe that the term " dont judge until you have walked in someone elses shoes" might apply in this case. You have 30 years of walking in my shoes left.

        There are hundreds of people if not more in the same or even worse position that I am in that are happy that you are able to work your schedule and seems like your first post here was to put yourself in the ""Super Gimp"" column..

        I am glad that you are able to work and keep busy but I just hope that if the day comes , and I have to think that it will, not wishing it on you , that you will be able to get the support here that I have got ..
        The people here I believe in the last 3 days have saved my life and I applaud them for their support...

        Gary
        I've been out of town so I'm a bit late to the party....I am so glad you came here for support. Aging and pain are a whole different ballgame. Early on you feel like you can do anything and for a time it seems you can put some of the pain out of your mind. I don't know if the pain gets worse or it catches up with you and just overwhelms your mind? Maybe in the first few years, we all think we are the one in a million that is going to beat the injury and defy the odds and then after years of pain it hits you that you are not that one? I don't know, but I agree with your other person's shoes analogy.

        I know exactly where you have been. Life gets you sometimes. It sneaks up when you aren't looking. The funny thing is, it just takes one genuine person to care and pull you out of that horrible place.
        T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

        My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

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        • #34
          Gary


          Where you refering to me as a super gimp? wow
          You really don't know my story.
          You can Pm anytime i will listen and tell you more
          We care i care about you. i know what your feeling and where your coming from because i have been there too.
          It seems Tonja has also bumped in to say Hello she helped me alot when i was down.

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          • #35
            Hope your Monday is better and you made it through the tough week-end Gary. I like the story behind your avatar.
            Are you going to get into the doctor?

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            • #36
              Peter ,

              I appreciate the responce but what I think you might want to concider is that when someone was in as much pain and confusion that I was going through with pain , and med withdrawl and reaching out to this forum for help to keep me alive , your advise is " I was bored " then you posted something between you and Lynnifer about her being "judgmental" and she has been around here and posted on my threads to give me help and advise numerous times.

              So in reply to your posts I believe that you make it sound like I had said in this post where I was taught to just suck it up and get it done. That is how I was raised and pround of it because I had 2 of the best parents a person could have had.

              And to get to the point about your post and the comment I made about you being a "super Gimp" . I am being a bit judgemental in saying that and sorry (to a degree ) if it offended you , But If you read my post you should have noticed that I was in such distress that I literally had a gun to my head .

              I did read your post and I have no intentions of trying to ban you from posting because I know you will get a lot of great info here on the forum .

              But what I do ask you is in the future to have a little more compassion and understanding before you post something especially if you are just bringing up something between you and another person here on the forum.
              I dont know what you and Lynnifer have going and its none of my bussiness either.

              And I also read that you live on a small island of Malta I believe. I am not sure if you where born and raised there or moved there but I do realize that other cultures have a different way in just the emphasis in which they speak. Just as an example its like when you go to a chineese restaurant and when they put an order in it sounds like they are fighting so I can undrestand a cultural difference if thiis is the case.

              All I ask is dont be so judgemental about me just being bored so I got myself into this situation..

              Just remember you have a lot of years left of worrying about pressure sores , kidney damage, UTIs , any many many other problems that can happen with SCI.

              I am not going to ignore your posts or vote to ban because I know you will want to be here as we all are for help when we need it .

              And I want to appoligize to everyone here because I am not that regular of a visitor here and should because of all the help I have recieved and not given ,, I am going to try to start checking here as often as I can to ad positive input to someone who might benifit from my help.

              Sorry for the book I just wrote but I want Peter to understand a little of what he is facing in the future ...

              Gary
              T-10 ,,1980,,

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              • #37
                This thread is about Gary and his week-end crisis. Please don't make it about yourself
                peter. No need to reply.

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                • #38
                  I also want to thank Tom , Linda and Daisey for your posts . And Linda I will be getting an appointment soon to see if I can get more help .

                  But to be honest the best help I could get has been here over the years and especially this week .I am glad there are so many people who care about everyones situations here.

                  Gary
                  T-10 ,,1980,,

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                  • #39
                    it's not possible to be bored when you're in severe pain. When you're in so mich pain you can't move or lie still and just have to rock yourself gently while your brain screams for relief and you're debating knocking yourself unconscious (or suicide) just to make it stop, if even for just a moment... There is no room in your head for boredom.
                    Board Member of Assistance Dog Advocacy Project working in Education. Feel free to ask me any service dog questions!

                    I am not paralyzed. I have a genetic connective tissue disorder with neuro complications and a movement disorder.

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                    • #40
                      Gary... I'm so happy that you found help and had a good outcome!

                      I pray you NEVER go through this again!!!

                      Many thanks and hugs to the Angel that helped you!

                      T
                      Incomplete, SCI, T1-T8, w/ Arachnoid Cyst. Bilateral shoulder surgeries, 2 on the left, 3 on the right, right forearm surgery for a crushed radial nerve.

                      "We can always choose to perceive things differently. We can focus on what's wrong in our life, or we can focus on what's right."
                      — Marianne Williamson

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                      • #41
                        Peter if your having problems put them out there and people will help, and definatly as I know it helps to get on here and basicly say you need help..

                        Sorry if you are having problems I was just responding to your post and I appreciate your info .

                        Thanks
                        Gary
                        T-10 ,,1980,,

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