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I'm tired of this #$%&-ing pain!!!!

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    #46
    Originally posted by alan View Post
    I want some relief from the pains and shoulder blade problems so I'll want to do things and be able to do them. I have no desire to do anything.

    How the hell does one explain that one's body is on fire, and some parts burn even hotter than the rest? How to explain bones sticking through skin, and all the other f'ing torture feelings? Screw it all.
    I've described my pain to many doctors and PA's and nurses for years. I've drawn on a picture where it hurts and how often/severe. It gets so damned frustrating saying and doing all that when all you want is the pain to stop.

    I've finally got my pain pump in but no relief yet. I get my staples out and dosage adjusted in a week. Maybe, just maybe something will put the fire out and cut the power to the electric shocks. Maybe it won't hurt when my legs are touched. Fucking maybe. That's the best I get.
    No human society, present or past, has lacked music. Music is therefore one of the very few human universals, which puts it on the same level as food and sex.
    Fredric Lieberman

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      #47
      My heart pours out its blessings to you all dealing with pain. I know recurrent UTIs of late are frustrating me as well, but fortunately, there's drugs to knock those out.

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        #48
        Thanks for the article Frag and McK. Dr. Salter makes it sound pretty simple. Wish it was. Hope he has gotten somewhere.

        LeType thanks for your blessings. I must say at times it helps to know your are not alone in experiencing things in life. With this pain I hate to hear so many others are hurting like this so much. I would not wish this on my enemies! (Well maybe a couple of my enemies, but not all of them).

        Every time I come here I can't leave without a little vent at least so I'll just say... "Damn it! I am tired as hell of this friggin' pain!"
        L1 Complete - Injury 3/12/06 - Grateful to be alive!!!!

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          #49
          I HATE THIS FUCKING PAIN EVERYDAY, JUST LIKE ALL OF YOU GUYS & GALS.
          The thing I hate is when I have to go to the doctor's and ask for pain meds. It's like I have to convince them I'm really in pain, like the rods in my back aren't enough. Most of the doctors I see don't even know about SCI and I hate the ones that ask me, "What do you want me to do for you". I tell them I need pain meds and they start me off with crappy ones & make me come back 5-10 times before I get anything that starts to help. I feel like they are just trying to make as much money off me before they actually start to treat the pain. Then they want me to go to pain management and all they do is give me more pills and I thought they were actually going to fix my problem, not just cover it up, so I have to keep coming back. You really think they want to relieve our pain on the first visit?

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            #50
            some times i feel this is a slow death, how can there be such a funken monster inside me that never takes a fucken break,a pain there is no word for, why cant i have my fucken life back 4 years in a hell of hells i just fucken hate being so tired of it al

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              #51
              Pain sucks largely!!

              Pain sucks
              Pain bites
              Pain eats
              Pain steals
              Pain destroys
              Pain kills dreams
              Pain angers
              Pain creates drama
              Pain causes sorrow
              Pain corrodes
              Pain irritates
              Pain annoys
              And what really pisses me off.......PAIN IS UNJUST!

              And Doctors for the most part.....well, you all fill in the blank. I have my choice!
              No matter how cynical I try to be, I just can't seem to keep up with how bad things really are!

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                #52
                lespaul, an awesome avatar, illustrating what the pain, always there, burning you inside and out. best illustration of what this chronic neuropathic pain is like, never ending, like hell on earth. being paralyzed is nothing compared to the endless pain, and the bs that the medical establishment keeps pumping out, as if this is just something we can all just get used to. just looking at your avatar, with the flames surrounding you, reminds me of last night, trying to sleep while my whole body felt like it was on fire. it hurts something awful, and I am screaming with you against the indifference that the medical establishment, and most everyone else, has when trying to explain how this pain ruins your life. just trying to make through another day........

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                  #53
                  Oh yes venting!!!!!

                  I will YELL it too!!
                  PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT SPINE I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!!
                  I do have a possible ray of hope not looking forward to it but if it gives me some relief Im down. Scheduled for surgery in the beginning of August for FUSION of 4 vertibrae in my c5 to t1 section of my back.I ACHE from pain everyday from this DAMN injury.
                  Thanks for this Thread!
                  Chris
                  Last edited by SCI-Nurse; 18 Jun 2009, 9:52 PM.
                  spam

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                    #54
                    Originally posted by ChrisRussell View Post
                    I will YELL it too!!
                    PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT SPINE I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!!
                    I do have a possible ray of hope not looking forward to it but if it gives me some relief Im down. Scheduled for surgery in the beginning of August for FUSION of 4 vertibrae in my c5 to t1 section of my back.I ACHE from pain everyday from this DAMN injury.
                    Thanks for this Thread!
                    Chris
                    Let me know how your surgery turns out. I'm am thinking of having the same surgery, but starting at T3 level. I have been told recovery will again be 4 months with the body jacket for 12 weeks. Is this true for you as well?

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                      #55
                      I will be having anterior fusion T10 thru L3 and posterior T8 thru L3 due to an unfused spine and broken hardware originally installed in March 2006. SCI at L1 burst fracture. L1 fused to T12 but not to L2. Original posterior fusion from T8 to L3 due to multiple fractures. Not looking forward to the pain of the surgery and recovery but have been given pretty good odds for pain reduction. PLEASE BE TRUE!!!!!! I AM TIRED OF THIS FUCKING PAIN!!!!!!!!! SUrgery scheduled for June 30 at Emory Spine Hospital in Atlanta. Those that pray do so for me please!... Grange

                      Yojama95 you are beautiful!!!... (Please don't think me too forward.... just a compliment and my apologies to any spouse that may exist.)
                      L1 Complete - Injury 3/12/06 - Grateful to be alive!!!!

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                        #56
                        I don't feel like getting out of bed any more. Or laying down. Or doing anything. Damn pains, shoulder blades, and balance problems.
                        Alan

                        Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

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                          #57
                          Grange,

                          Wow. I hate to hear of people having to have surgery. I really hope it will help. It sounds like a pretty big deal, anterior and posterior at the same time. Take some good books with you or maybe some comic books or something. I will be thinking of you and doing as you ask.. Best wishes.

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                            #58
                            Dear Alan

                            If you don't feel like getting OUT of bed nor laying IN bed, that leaves levitation. Limited options. Just thumb through one of the mind/body books which ignore the laws of nature and there should be no problem with levitation. Gravity is all in your mind, just like the cytokines (like TNF alpha) in our cord/thalamus which cause the hypersensitization of central pain.

                            Chemistry is all in the mind as well, I suppose.

                            It is funny--in other diseases, like chronic hepatitis, they don't consider tumor necrosis factor (TNF alpha) to be all in your mind AT ALL, but damaging, so they give medicines to block TNFalpha, but I suppose in pain states, TNF alpha is all in your mind. In liver cells, the stuff is inflammatory, but in nerve cells, apparently it is of no significance. So it is really the mind/body minus the liver concept we mean when we say mind body. Nerve cells have magic color crystals from Lucky Charms which defeat the ordinary acidification effect of TNF alpha IF and ONLY IF you have the right state of mind. And by definition, if you have any pain, then one can assume you don't have the right state of mind. No escape from this circular reasoning. I also burn like fire so obvously I have a poor state of mind, bad attitude, and am a drug seeking malingerer.

                            Apparently, for some reason, everyone undergoing open surgery has a bad state of mind also. If they are trying to save costs, I don't understany why they don't have a mind/body book available for perusal during the surgical procedures instead of those expensive anesthesiologists. Ditto for dentists. This whole business should work since they can measure activity in the thalamus of those undergoing surgery and lo and behold, they have the same oscillations going on as those in central pain, so obviously OUR THERAPY should work for them as well. It seems however that they lack faith, lack a positive attitude and continue to cause pain in themselves by permitting the ion channels in their nerve cells to open and allow sodium and calcium to move across the membranes, creating a pain signal. Since it is obviously to their advantage to close those channels, I don't know why they let those surgical sissies get away with it. They need a good lecture from the mind/body people who know so much.

                            That said, I wish I lived there and could offer you a float tank. I really hate to think of how you suffer, but you do keep me going with your bravery. Some of the rehab places do have pools and I made my own from plywood, silicon glue, and epoxy boat paint (probably toxic for all I know). It was six and one half feet long and 26 inches wide. I used a mask and snorkel to lay face down, always fearing I might fall asleep in my exhausted state. It worked pretty good to help my joint pains in my neck, floating suspended, but the hot water (it was heated by a 200 watt fish tank heater, with layer of light plastic on top to keep the heat in) began to mildew the sheet rock of the wall in the room to a disgusting point. I wish i could still run it. I don't think they typically sell hot tubs big enough to float--the seat comes out and makes it effectively about 5 feet long which is not long enough for my body. If anyone here knows of a place to order a fiberglass tank I could float in, please let me know. I thought about using a shower stall from Home Depot, but one end is always open and I don't know how to close it off with fiberglass. A sheet metal place will make me one from stainless steel, but it costs about as much as a Bentley and does not have an eight hundred horsepower engine, so it is a ripoff. Also, shower stalls require 42 inches clearance, and so won't fit through the door of a room.

                            I do hope you have some associates who make your life bearable.

                            Thinking of you.

                            P.S. Just remember, YOUR pain is exactly the same in degree and quality as those with low back pain. Pain cannot get any worse than low back pain, and anyone who has ever had low back pain is an expert on all other pains and can give you authoritative advice on how to deal with central pain. Pain comes in only ONE amount and is always identical from person to person. It is not like money where you can have a little money (us) or a lot of money (pigsnout bailout banks and insurance companies). NO There is only one type of pain and it only comes in one amount. It does not matter if the pain is limited to your big toe or encompasses your entire skin surface and mucous membranes, it is always exactly equal, like zero always equals zero. I am writing a book about this and as soon as it comes out, you can buy a copy and end your pain once and for all.
                            Last edited by dejerine; 21 Jun 2009, 11:39 AM.

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                              #59
                              what a bunch of cry babies !!!!!!!

                              my np and other pain hovers around on a scale of 1-10 a constant 7-8, try many meds over 17 years and have learned how to use mind distraction. I use to cry and scream myself to sleep, but I managed using mind distraction. And I only have one life, yes it's difficult but I find something ever day that makes life worth living. If you can' deal with the pain, do something about it. you think I give a dam!!!
                              c-7 quad post 17 years 14 surgeries, on 3rd baclofen pump, artificial shoulder 2 tendon transfers, both elbows scoped 500 falls in 17 years.
                              SNAP out of it you whiners.
                              I'm only doing this for your own good, either learn to deal with your disabilty or do something about it

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                                #60
                                Personally, I think we are here to support each other, not to judge each other...

                                I hope everybody has a better day than they thought they would...

                                Take care all!

                                Teena

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