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    #31
    Originally posted by socalnut
    I can relate to your situation,But I feel my injury level prevents me from sharing alot of my personal experince.I would say get your streghth from people that have been where you are ,and not people that think they know what its like,It just pisses me off for someone thats not even injured to post on here like they know what the hell its like.
    All I can say is try and be as indepenent as you can be and that will give you hope.
    Socalnut/AKA mr handsome

    Your son may not know what it is like to have your injury but I can almost guarantee that he lives with and knows how it has effected his life. I know from my own daughter's experience that my accident not only effected my life but hers as well. She sees my struggles and my pain. No matter what injury level you are, you still share in the fact that life kind of threw this at all of us......we werent expecting these injuries. I know Adams mom and Jesses mom share their experiences much like your son or my daughter would if they were on this website. It is okay to be angry about your injury but use that anger constructively and use it to gain your own independence and to seek your own happiness in life. I look forward to reading what you have to say.....you are always so positive and having fun in your posts. Nobody will ever know how we feel to go through these injuries unless they have an SCI themselves.....but on the other hand we dont understand what we put our family members through either. I can only imagine what my mom felt as she saw my car coming up the road on the flat bed wrecker. She was pulling out of work. I live in a small town and she knew it was mine she said even before she went to the house.....but she was still praying that my car was in the driveway but it wasnt. I know that I put her through alot that morning and I cant imagine what that felt like.....I cant imagine and dont want to imagine even more now since my daughter is approaching the age I was when my accident happened.

    Just take care Socalnut and keep working on that truck.....it is going to give you one heck of a thrill ride when you are actually able to drive it through the mud!!!!!!
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

    Comment


      #32
      I got some private messages last night from several people either expressing concern or their belief that I was lying about somebody from here contacting me by phone. Just to clarify because I probably didn’t word this properly when I first wrote it, nobody phoned me. To make a very long story short, when I first started posting on these forums I received some private messages and emails from an individual. They started off innocuous and I replied. I stopped replying when they quickly became very strange and inappropriate. The last message I received this person told me they had done some “research” and asked if the hospital name and switchboard number they found on google was correct. Given that I posted my location in one of my first posts, it wasn’t that hard to come up with that information. They never called but in the same email they offered to send me a phone card so we could have “nice long chats.” Maybe I over reacted, but I was very disturbed by the whole thing. Probably not any danger. But it made me realize that posting something like my exact location in public wasn’t all that bright. A general location is fine. But I am not comfortable with anything too specific. I am happy to tell people in private messages or emails.

      From my own experience of administering a message board in the past, this kind of thing occasionally happens. Even here on care cure. This last comment is meant for one specific person who sent me a message last night saying something like that wouldn’t happen here. If somebody doesn't want to believe me, I don't really care.To everybody else, I am sorry if I sound defensive and grumpy in this message. I am not feeling well today and being questioned about whether this actually happened is not helping.

      That was too long of an explanation. I think I need to learn to be more brief with my messages.

      Comment


        #33
        On the very contrary OJ - I believe it probably did happen! There's always a few bad apples in every bunch. I think what you're doing, by not posting particulars, is probably very smart. Today's a gloomy, rainy day here and I'm in the third of four dayshifts. I am not a morning person so I'm not joyous either. lol Here's to better days ahead!
        Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

        T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

        Comment


          #34
          Originally posted by lynnifer
          Today's a gloomy, rainy day here and I'm in the third of four dayshifts. I am not a morning person so I'm not joyous either. lol Here's to better days ahead!
          Misery loves company right? lol Thanks lynnifer. Your message helped me mellow out a bit.

          I am not a morning person either. I was very fond of jobs where I could work nightshifts. Mornings annoy me for some reason.

          Comment


            #35
            I guess I have alot of anger Ive got to deal with myself.I still have alot of resentment for the girl who nailed me while I was ridding my motorcycle.Im just going to have to deal with it eventualy ,but for now i refuse to be understaning to the fact that I wasnt at fault for my injury !It all has to do with acceptance ,I just havent reached that stage yet.I plan to cocentrate my energy getting even with people that severly injur bikers and get off scott free.As for the girl that hit me Id personaly like to see her paralized,but the fact is she already was from the neck up!

            Comment


              #36
              Thanks Daisy/aka hottie
              You have some good points in your message.My anger was only directed to one person on here ,thats continualy negitive,I wont mention names,But The thing is I feel good when I think positive ,and need to just ignore the negitive person on here.

              Originally posted by darkeyed_daisy
              Socalnut/AKA mr handsome

              Your son may not know what it is like to have your injury but I can almost guarantee that he lives with and knows how it has effected his life. I know from my own daughter's experience that my accident not only effected my life but hers as well. She sees my struggles and my pain. No matter what injury level you are, you still share in the fact that life kind of threw this at all of us......we werent expecting these injuries. I know Adams mom and Jesses mom share their experiences much like your son or my daughter would if they were on this website. It is okay to be angry about your injury but use that anger constructively and use it to gain your own independence and to seek your own happiness in life. I look forward to reading what you have to say.....you are always so positive and having fun in your posts. Nobody will ever know how we feel to go through these injuries unless they have an SCI themselves.....but on the other hand we dont understand what we put our family members through either. I can only imagine what my mom felt as she saw my car coming up the road on the flat bed wrecker. She was pulling out of work. I live in a small town and she knew it was mine she said even before she went to the house.....but she was still praying that my car was in the driveway but it wasnt. I know that I put her through alot that morning and I cant imagine what that felt like.....I cant imagine and dont want to imagine even more now since my daughter is approaching the age I was when my accident happened.

              Just take care Socalnut and keep working on that truck.....it is going to give you one heck of a thrill ride when you are actually able to drive it through the mud!!!!!!

              Comment


                #37
                dang - the computer just lost a long post I had ready to go!
                Anyway,

                Orangejello - I appreciate your understanding; it reflects the intelligence and thoughtfulness I've noted in all of your posts. I'm sorry some jerk was bothering you.

                Socalnut - Although my viewpoint is necessarily different from yours, it is quite as valid. Jesse's mom and I can only describe what we see and feel, and what we can infer from our empathy with our loved ones and others on the CC forums. Daisy has had a lot more time than you to learn how to live with her altered state, so she is a valuable resource to us all. I couldn't imagine you not feeling anger, particularly in a situation like yours, socalnut. Perhaps Daisy can tell us whether the anger and resentment ever completely subsides? I guess the first year is the hardest?

                - Richard

                Comment


                  #38
                  I think I hated walking people. I kept telling GOD I took care of my body better than most people and kept finding people that didn't deserve to walk. I finally gave up suggesting people to GOD who could take my place. Just compare yourself to people that didn't make it with way smaller injuries and some how that makes me realize how lucky I am.
                  AstrO

                  Comment


                    #39
                    My Time Out

                    I get out regulary as I drive myself. Several Christmas seasons ago I was shopping in a upscale department store. Because the asiles were jammed with goods, I asked a salesperson to move some things so I could look at sleepwear for my wife. I made my selection, and requested wrapping service. While waiting for my packages, I rolled through the main, mostly clear asiles in the store. Well, what do you know, I was getting the stare from many shoppers. Of course it was because of the chair. When one person gave me an extended look, I decided that was enough. I slammed the joystick into a sudden and sharp left turn, all the while giving this person my meanest glare. While looking over my left shoulder and making the turn I spotted several pieces of women's apparel dragging behind my chair. Obviously, in the tight, crowded asiles I snagged some goodies and had been dragging them throughout the store--hence the stares.

                    Doug Graves
                    You C.A.N.
                    Conquer Adversity Now

                    Comment


                      #40
                      The first year was the hardest for me as well as anytime Ive had a setback..... I still have bad days and really bad days. It is my family that is there for me on those really bad days. Sometimes it helps me to look at things from their perspective. As for the anger, it doesnt go away. It just seems that in my case some things just become more important than the anger.

                      Socal I understand about negative people too.....I try to be positive and see things as positive no matter how bad they really are. My best friend is the most negative person on earth but I love her to death. When we are together, it is like salt and pepper. It is okay to be angry but dont let that anger interfere with life. Dont let it eat away all the positive situations you have going for you. I realize I havent been in your particular situation as my accident was a one car accident. I lost control of the car. On the other hand, I was right behind two other cars that were my friends at the time. For a while, I wondered why they didnt come back to find me. We were going to the same place. They knew I was behind them. They had to see my headlights. I layed in the car which was in the middle of the road for five hours that night and the man delivering newspapers was the one to find me. I was really angry with my friends for about a year. I even told a couple of them to leave my room and never attempt to contact me again. But I eventually realized that being angry with them wasnt worth spending my energy on.....they didnt change because of it. Nothing could change the past. I got to a point that living and concentrating on being the best that I could be was more important than thinking about the "what ifs and the whys". I still dont speak to my so called "friends" but I had to let the anger go.

                      I hope you get things worked out Socal...Sorry I didnt mean to write a book.....LOL
                      T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

                      My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

                      Comment


                        #41
                        By the way OJ is not the only one to be approached by IM by weirdos on this board......I as well as several others have been also. So it never hurts to be careful. I dont give out my actual location either.....The smokey mountains is a pretty big place. LOL
                        T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

                        My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

                        Comment


                          #42
                          Maybe the person who questioned you, OJ, was another devo coming to the rescue. No, that wouldn't happen!

                          Comment


                            #43
                            Originally posted by Redneck
                            I get out regulary as I drive myself. Several Christmas seasons ago I was shopping in a upscale department store. Because the asiles were jammed with goods, I asked a salesperson to move some things so I could look at sleepwear for my wife. I made my selection, and requested wrapping service. While waiting for my packages, I rolled through the main, mostly clear asiles in the store. Well, what do you know, I was getting the stare from many shoppers. Of course it was because of the chair. When one person gave me an extended look, I decided that was enough. I slammed the joystick into a sudden and sharp left turn, all the while giving this person my meanest glare. While looking over my left shoulder and making the turn I spotted several pieces of women's apparel dragging behind my chair. Obviously, in the tight, crowded asiles I snagged some goodies and had been dragging them throughout the store--hence the stares.
                            Doug Graves
                            LMAO .. I hope you're able to look back and laugh, 'cause I'm giggling up here in Canada. That's funny!
                            Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                            T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

                            Comment


                              #44
                              Originally posted by orangejello

                              From my own experience of administering a message board in the past, this kind of thing occasionally happens. Even here on care cure. This last comment is meant for one specific person who sent me a message last night saying something like that wouldn’t happen here. If somebody doesn't want to believe me, I don't really care.
                              No, that sort of thing can certainly happen here as well. Any one can access these boards, there is no way to screen out "creeps" for lack of a better word. In fact there have been several threads lately referring to inappropriate messages. You are smart to only post general information.
                              T7-8 since Feb 2005

                              Comment


                                #45
                                Originally posted by orangejello
                                That was too long of an explanation. I think I need to learn to be more brief with my messages.
                                I for one am impressed with the length and composition of your posts, using eye gAze and voice recognition. I have my hands, yet mine are short, and sometimes incoherant!
                                T7-8 since Feb 2005

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