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Where Else To Turn?

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  • Where Else To Turn?

    Okay, here's the status. I don't know what to do since I lack insurance in the United States here, and while I had just started the process to apply for disability benefits (I am autistic and lack health insurance and a job), I was about to fill out the forms that weekend when I fell during that week. Trouble communicating pain during the first examination most recently after the accident resulted in an innacurate impression I think, due to my sometimes arbitrary responses of what pain should act like, something conditioned after years of school nurses and yard duties who yelled at me for "faking injured" when I looked to them like under-reacting or over-reacting, and some doctors later who did similar, such that I have learned to without thinking go into a habit of mimicking impressions of what acceptable standards - is it a 'normal look to hurt?'

    Since the day I fell (Thursday 26 March 2010), my legs were numbed, pain and imbalanced (moreso on my left side, though my right leg gets more rapid involuntary muscle contractions), as well as my left hand paraesthesia and weakness in my biceps brachii, lack of feeling to the buttocks and perineum, burning stingling along hips down legs to feet, urinary incontinence and retention, such that I take awhile to wait going, then intermittently stopping, only for a painful pause to know that I need to continue but it will never resume (until, presumably, later when I have left the toilet, as the evidence shows).

    So I went the day after on a scheduled appointment to the doctor during day hours, who examined me, though I only got time to mention the burning in the hip that goes to the feet, but in a lot of pain (and see, I'm autistic, as the doctor knows) I failed to realize that an examination began that I needed to react to specific actions, rather than to the everyday baseline level of pain that is usual to convey the state I’m in. So he concluded rather quickly that things were okay, which confused me, until later in the car I realized that he’d raised my leg, thus beginning an examination, which I hadn’t realized earlier, and since my reaction (and I didn’t know that I needed to show my reaction as a gauge of the pain due to his actions, other than the everyday levels). Most of the things I mentioned above I couldn't get to, because he'd already said the exercises and the painkillers and left, and by the time I got my mouth open to mention the other things, the time lost it.

    Glad to hear everything’s okay, I left, some painkiller samples in hand, some exercises to do. I knew I ought to have gone to emergency the day it happened, but I also knew we lacked insurance and my parents work their asses off just to keep behind on the bills.

    Then Saturday April 3 2010, I went to emergency, since fully out of the shock of injury, I realized the folly of trying to tough through an emergency alone, even when there's the financial issues. So I related every symptom above apart from the arm problems to the nurse, which my parents then repeated to the doctor (I exhausted verbally before getting there, and they left before I could get to it - this is typical, even though the emergency room was quite deserted of a wait time scarcely ammounting to a minute compared to the crowded city emergency rooms of four hours and more wait times. They got X-rays that confirmed I lack broken bones. I predicted enough that it would go that way.

    So I've no idea what to do. The emergency room person told me to come back later if things were still worse - but how much longer do I wait, and nobody told me anything of what to do about the incontinence, to keep sanitary? I rely completely on my parents for transportation outside the house, and did so before the injury, at least at this location. The numbness/difficulty controlling my left arm/hand somewhat concerns me especially (I am a student composer, out of school temporarily, and love to play clarinet, piano, and guitar). Much like my school days, though, it seems that even blatant trauma is easy to ignore when it occurs to me - easy enough to dismiss as anxiety, when in fact I experience little anxiety and certainly not as a clinical syndrome.

  • #2
    Try printing out your post or writing a letter and take it to the doctor. That way communication won't be an issue and you will be able to convey all the information.
    Ugh, I've been kissed by a dog!
    Get some hot water, get some iodine ...
    -- Lucy VanPelt