Women Only Forum

[carbar]

The purpose of the Women Only forum was not to sideline all females into one section and separate them from participation in all the other forums, but to give them a place to go to discuss private issues in detail without them being hijacked by random interference. If many of your gender are to blame for this, then you should take it up with them, implore them to behave. See where that gets you. Many long-standing female members have tried that approach but it goes nowhere.
I see this new forum as the positive side of 'exclusionism', and I would not consider it a personal affront if a Men only forum were to follow.

[orangejello]

Why does this forum have to be exclusionary? It is in my opinion, simply more feminist logic and philosophy taken to the extreme.

If you want to eliminate the "SPAM" then make it a member’s only forum and make people responsible.

Do you really feel excluded by the fact that some (many) women here wish to discuss delicate care and sexual matters without being bombarded by the juvenile, lewd, and crude comments constantly made in such threads by some male members who think that kind of behaviour is funny? There are hundreds of examples of this happening in both the care and sex forums I can refer you to that proves this is a legitimate problem for many female members. It makes them reluctant to post about certain issues when they may need help and advice.

When I see male members bring up things like errectile dysfunction or cock rings I never see females trying to insert themselves into the thread merely to have a laugh at the expense of the male asking the question. Yet browse past threads in the sex forum and you will see males replying to serious questions from females with comments like "get a can of motor oil."

As for your second comment above, too many seem to take the "member's only" forum as a free for all where anything can be said without consequence because it's "just members." Are you seriously suggesting that a female-focused forum should be relegated to the ghetto of the same mentality? Because that is what I am reading in your comment. If that is the case, I question how much respect and understanding you actually have for women.

A personal question for you: were you this self-rightgeously indignant when the "caregiver's only" forum was established? I am going to assume that you are not a member of that forum (please correct me if I am wrong) and would likewise be excluded from it. Does that bother you as much as the "women's only" forum does? I am guessing that the large majority of members of the private caregivers forum are women as well. Does that offend your male sensibilities as much as a "women's only" forums apparently has?

I personally wasn't convinced that a women's only forum was necessary. I thought a women's forum that was open to all would be sufficient. But seeing attitudes like what you have displayed in this thread makes me realize how wrong I was.

[wheelchairTITAN]

The purpose of the Women Only forum was not to sideline all females into one section and separate them from participation in all the other forums, but to give them a place to go to discuss private issues in detail without them being hijacked by random interference. If many of your gender are to blame for this, then you should take it up with them, implore them to behave. See where that gets you. Many long-standing female members have tried that approach but it goes nowhere.
I see this new forum as the positive side of 'exclusionism', and I would not consider it a personal affront if a Men only forum were to follow.

Again you miss the issue ... feel free to take on my writing but you have to read it and not just say because some people can't play nice ... I am responsible for their behaviour. CC should, in my opinion, not be a place for "some only" forums. Again, the issue is the right to unfettered (but moderated) speech should not be met with I should "take it up with them" as you so eloquently put it. I didn't do this and yet to this point the responders here still paint me as the enemy. Why should I be responsible for the behaviour of others as you suggest?

I understand your points and the points of others but question the validity of exclusion of all based on the behaviour of some. The trouble is this decision was made without the right to 9input and be heard and even now you and others feel this is a right given to you. Subversion of information and of speech should be offensive to you and to all and yet the forces of separation are at work.

Don't miss the point of my original posting which requires much more thought and response than ... the statement that I should be responsible for the entire male gender.

You give credence to my issue that this is in fact a way to male bash and have it legitimized.

The question is will you and the others actually listen or read and consider the real issue here or just feel entitled to a an exclusivee forum because of your gender?

William

[addiesue]

Some males act like little boys. It doesn't mean you do or all do. I am sorry that you are getting "punished" for their actions. However it is quite a relief to me to be able to read an honest discussion without the lewd remarks and things that get posted in response. If a woman were to post a thread 2nd orgasm since injuries it gets all kind of replies. Do you want help, post pics, I only want a virgin, go on and on. I noticed a male posted that the other day and only saw 2 or 3 replies and one was from the nurse. It gets old so yes we do need our own place. I seriously doubt you want to read about someones vaginal discharge and how to keep a pad in place when transferring anyway. Or do you?

[Steven Edwards]

Titan,

The Women Only forum was a long time coming. Wise decided that it was the right move to make, as did I, and that is why the Women Only forum exists.

I'll address your other claims after lunch. Just know that feminism didn't beget the forum, male chauvinism did.

Before I leave, I would be interested to know how you feel that forum could help you. Would you mind sharing?

Thanks,

Steven

[rdf]

WT, it isn't about exclusion. It's about the intimacy of the issues unique to women, and the freedom to learn from one another. Many people with sci are shy and don't post, but this will allow those women who are reticent to commiserate with others to the benefit of all concerned. They need such a forum because imo sci is much more difficult for women due to their biological structures (aka their plumbin )

I see no problem with this forum, I think it's a good idea.

[sjean423]

Sorry you feel so excluded, but you really aren;t missing much, unless like addiesue said, you want to know how to keep a pad from slipping, or or whether you get diarrhea during your period. (Well, do you have an answer for that?). Excluding you is n;t punishment, we have tried to deal with the kibbitzers in the main forum, it didn;t work, so we went into the other room and shut the door. Just like in real life I guess. Its issues that don;t get discussed in "mixed company". That may not be the way that it SHOULD be, be since it seems to be the only way that works, I am for one glad it does.

But I really think you are just reading too much into this.

btw, You say we are taking the gradeschool method of dealing with the problem. Perhaps it is because the gradeschool mentality of A FEW members has triggered this. But in 5th grade, when they showed the girls a different film that the boys? It was about the female body, and menstruation. You didn;t miss much then either.

WT, it isn't about exclusion. It's about the intimacy of the issues unique to women, and the freedom to learn from one another. Many people with sci are shy and don't post, but this will allow those women who are reticent to commiserate with others to the benefit of all concerned. They need such a forum because imo sci is much more difficult for women due to their biological structures (aka their plumbin )

I see no problem with this forum, I think it's a good idea.

Thanks rdf ..... You get it exactly!

[cheesecake]

I prefer the privacy of the womans forum. Previously, I used a different screen name, now I don't need to.

Only approximately 25% of all SCI are women. I was injured for 10 years before I met another woman with a spinal cord injury. As isolating as SCI can be, try falling into that small minority. For years I thought many issues were unique to me, now I find that they are common. I am thankful that now I can finally post, ask questions and get answers.

RDF, thanks for getting it.

[LaMemChose]

Titan,

The Women Only forum was a long time coming. Wise decided that it was the right move to make, as did I, and that is why the Women Only forum exists.

I'll address your other claims after lunch. Just know that feminism didn't beget the forum, male chauvinism did.

Before I leave, I would be interested to know how you feel that forum could help you. Would you mind sharing?

Thanks,

Steven

Is it possible to clone you? Please?

[Danine]

I prefer the privacy of the womans forum. Previously, I used a different screen name, now I don't need to.

Only approximately 25% of all SCI are women. I was injured for 10 years before I met another woman with a spinal cord injury. As isolating as SCI can be, try falling into that small minority. For years I thought many issues were unique to me, now I find that they are common. I am thankful that now I can finally post, ask questions and get answers.

RDF, thanks for getting it.

This isolation is all too common for women with SCI. It's true, in the SCI community, we are outnumbered almost 4 to 1. We are a minority within a minority. Research has shown that women have a whole host of disability-related issues to cope with that men do not have. We need our own space to discuss these issues openly and honestly without the intrusion of voyeurs who can't handle mature discussions about delicate issues.

[Liz321]

Is there a seperate forum? or am I on it? I tried clicking on emi's post SCI unique issues andgot a message i wasn't allowed

[Steven Edwards]

It is, Liz. You have access now.

[lynnifer]

Just know that feminism didn't beget the forum, male chauvinism did.

Thanks for saying this Steven ... I'm sorry everyone, but I believe the above to be so true! OJ provides a perfect scenario where many men ask sexual questions and are never ridiculed by the females, but it doesn't work the other way around. I guess it takes a few to ruin it for all.

I'm excited that we have an exclusive forum .. and sorry guys, but females just don't get our share of research pie when it comes to our specific issues.

That forum is thriving!

[moniquem]

Access

How do I gain access to the forum? I'm not even able to view topics!

- Monique M.

[SCI-Nurse]

I thought it was supposed to be automatic if you profile includes female gender, but I will alert Steven Edwards and he can let you into the Women's Only forum. You could also PM him (he is our webmaster). You won't be able to see the forum at all, including the list of topics or any responses until admitted.

(KLD)