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My appointment at VR Today

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  • My appointment at VR Today

    Caution: Some of the details of this story have been exaggerated or made up for humorous intent and it may even fucking offend you.


    It often seems like those who're employed to oversee the physically disabled are often mentally disabled. I think that's fucked up. We were handed a shitty hand and then to be given an even shittier one to reach out to is a bit nauseating.

    My vocational rehabilitation counselor is counting the days to retirement, which is less than 365 days (he constantly reminds me), and the lady who I met today for personality and aptitude tests seemed like the lady in church that everyone avoids for the same unknown reason.

    First, I get interviewed about my story and condition. I was surprised to learn one of my doctors was named Dr. Lester and that I had been a waiter prior to my injury at 15. To make matters worse, she wasn’t surprised by the fuck-ups in her document. I’m really afraid to go there again; I might learn that my real name is Tori.

    Second, I take a test with four questions to discover absolutely everything about my personality. Even though the printed out sheet stated I was friendly, diplomatic and tactful, I apparently offended her by correcting the poor grammar on the paper and declaring, “This is fucked up!”

    Lastly, I took the aptitude test. She was very pleased to tell me every subject had been within average, even some above, but the math score brought the general score down. I looked at her sadly and said, “I know, I get naked to count to 21.”

    Based on everything, we both decided a career in porn is perfect for me: I love Madonna, I say “Oh, god!” perfectly, and I have little feeling in my ass. Plus she was so enthralled by my knowledge about dildos, she seemed as though she couldn’t wait to get home and play with “Governor Huckabee” using my tips. I accused her of being a racist for not naming her dildo “Barack Obama,” but she insisted she wasn’t racist and the only reason she didn’t name it Barack was because her dildo wasn’t big.

    I left dreaming about hitting it in gay porn.
    Last edited by Le Todd; 01-09-2008, 02:08 AM. Reason: Changed Senator to Governor

  • #2
    Todd, this is hysterical :-) On the other hand, if they discover that your real name is Tori, just hope the last one might be Spelling. Hell, you could buy the building the VR inhabits and turn them out into the cold. Oh, wait, it's New Orleans, so it isn't that cold, but you get my drift. I love the fact that you told her the test was "fucked up." So much for the tactful that they had already labelled you!

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    • #3
      Sounds exactly like my experience with VR and they delete your record after 4 years. You are healed when you graduate from college..... VR is worthless and the counselors are people who dont have the qualifications to ring the bell for the Salvation Army.

      (No offense to the Salvation Army but it doesnt take rocket science to ring their bell)
      T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

      My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

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      • #4
        One of my many VR field counselors was very interested in a job I discussed with her, working for Dell. I found the job info and applied several times. One day when I called for some unrelated information, I found that she had quit and found another job. Yup, she got a job working for Dell. I didn’t.

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        • #5
          Hell i got VR to pay for my hand controls for my car.
          "When Life Deals You A Crappy Hand, You Can Fold, Or You Can Play" Mark Zupan

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Eileen
            I love the fact that you told her the test was "fucked up." So much for the tactful that they had already labelled you!
            LMAO! That didn't really happen. I was truly labeled friendly, diplomatic and tactful. Thus, I followed that with a joke about telling her the test was fucked up to be funny.

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            • #7
              Todd,
              I think your best suited for advertising or some form of comedic writing. With the writers guild strike you may be able to scab for Stewart or Colbert.

              I don't know WHAT VR has in mind..but follow your own path. You know what your GOOD at. Porn..well maybe but it's such a short lived profession and you must make all you can in that short time.

              Writing as a career/profession is a toughie..but it's possible. Advertising is competitive but profitable.
              Life isn't about getting thru the storm but learning to dance in the rain.

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              • #8
                Of course they found you friendly Todd

                VR is good for one thing paying for college. They did twice for me and hopefully will again when I'm ready to go back again for a master's degree.

                My last counselor was completely frustrated with her job, telling me that those who really don't need help get all sorts of services and people like me don't. She fudged the paperwork to set up some of my home office because they only pay for that for people who have full time work at home. I said sure, no problem!
                Embrace uncertainty. Hard problems rarely have easy solutions. Jonah Lehrer

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                • #9
                  i'm not gonna lie, vr has been great for me... maybe it was because my counselor and i clicked from day i.
                  books, tuition, laptop that i wanted, desk, uppertone, hand bike, pushblack handrims... basically anything i've needed that will possibly help me to regain my independence. once i start driving, they're going to foot the bill on any conversion costs.
                  they've done waaaaaaaaay more for me than just college.
                  "All of us are all too stuck strapped to a chair watching our lives blow up..."

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                  • #10
                    Well, my VR counselor can't wait to retire. LMAO! Maybe the next one will be young and at a new start.

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                    • #11
                      i have a great VR counselor, she is super organized and knows everything and anything about what i want to do or have. definitely heard the horror stories tho, sorry your experience is so ridiculous. Aren't those tests great though? My uncle took one before and it told him he'd be a great funeral director! he is the least depressing person i know.
                      Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow.
                      -Dorothy Thompson

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                      • #12
                        I had an awful time in one state with VR, and in another they bend over backwards for me. After all the silly tests you just have to ask yourself how important is it for you to go to college or get employed...hell even drive. If money is the issue, they can probably help a lot.

                        What are your plans?
                        Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know that, so it goes on flying anyways--Mary Kay Ash

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                        • #13
                          Stripping, eh? Must take a really long time to count past 20 :O

                          -- JB

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                          • #14
                            We had a VR contractor at our home today. All went well until he asked Jeremy what level injury he had and how it happened. After Jeremy answered ("C5/6 and dove into a rock") the gentleman proceded to him that he most likely has TBI a well. Went something like this " I'm not a doctor but I have worked with lots of quads and most of of them got a TBI when their injury happened so if you have some issues at work you will know why".

                            Holy crap that is not what Jeremy needed to hear today. He is so exited about going back to work and that kinda took the wind out of his sails. I think I read somewhere in the threads here that a small % of Cervical injuries do sustain TBI, and we are not the type to deny if that were the case, I just wish people that are paid to help actually know what the hell they are talking about.

                            On a brighter note VR is looking into getting a Turny seat for him. Not gonna count the chickens yet, but that would be sooooo great.

                            Oh yeah and Happy New Year!
                            Jennifer - Married to Jeremy (C-5 inc. brown-sequard) mommy of two little drama queens

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                            • #15
                              VR here sucks but they did after a year of run around pay for my turny seat and outrider in my truck. Which then burned to the ground a few months later. Anyway good luck. I couldn't get any more education out of them.
                              If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


                              Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

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