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The Night Before Christmas (IT'S AN OLDIES BUT GOODIE)

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    The Night Before Christmas (IT'S AN OLDIES BUT GOODIE)

    The Night Before Christmas

    Twas the night before Christmas,
    And all through the house,
    Everybody felt shitty,
    Even the mouse.

    With mom at the whore house
    And Dad smoking grass,
    I'd just settled down
    For a nice piece of ass.

    When out on the lawn
    I heard such a clatter,
    I sprung from my piece
    To see what was the matter.

    Then out on the lawn,
    I saw a big dick,
    And I knew in a moment
    That it must be Saint Nick.

    He came down the chimney
    Like a bat out of hell,
    And I knew right away
    That the fucker had fell.

    He filled all our stockings
    With pretzels and beer,
    And a big rubber dick
    For my brother, the queer.

    He rose up the chimney
    With a thunderous fart;
    The damn son of a bitch
    Blew the chimney apart!

    He swore and he cursed,
    As he rode out of sight,
    "Piss on you all,
    And have a hell of a night!"
    Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.
    Bob Seger