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I got lectured for parking in a handicapped spot...gee.

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    #16
    Originally posted by Tiger Racing
    Wrong again. I don't enjoy it, but I am just not afraid of dealing with confrontation.


    You practically cuss out a woman who is trying to protect a right that about everyone on these boards bitches about on a regular basis and I'm the bitter one doing the attacking, eh?


    Your justification for your over the top response to that woman's polite comment is weak at best. Perhaps she was in a hurry and didn't have time to wait for you to get out of your car. Maybe she's tried that in the past and the person driving jumped out and ran away before she was able to get their attention and say something. The real point here is that the woman did nothing wrong. She was speaking up about an issue that most here feel is important. YOU were the one who over reacted and were quite rude. You don't have to like me, you can insult my posting style all you like, but shooting the messenger won't change those facts.

    C.
    Alas, in your complex simplicity you continue to miss the point of what I was getting at in the OP so I don't think I'll explain it any further. No over reactions here. You on the other hand tend to take posts to another level and that's not actually a compliment.

    As for you being a proponent of confrontation, more power to you. Maybe one day you will find the peace you are missing in your life that makes you so seemingly, well, incomplete. You have to exorcise your own demons. Here we go. I never said I didn't like you. I neither like you nor dislike you as I do not know you from any other wheelchair user. You have to deal with your own insecurities obviously.

    I hope you aren't one of those people who come to online message boards to assert themselves to others in an effort to get respect because in the real world you feel you just don't get enough. That would be sad. Not saying that's the case, but if it is it would be really sad.

    Continue with your cut/paste/commentary at your leisure.

    Comment


      #17
      Originally posted by Wheelieboy
      you continue to miss the point of what I was getting at in the OP
      I specifically addressed and refuted your point. You have no response to my comments and so you are attempting to distract people with an ad hominem attack. An unimaginative debate tactic.

      As for you being a proponent of confrontation, more power to you.
      You get it wrong again. I did NOT say or imply that I am a "propenent" of confrontation, but merely that I am not afraid of dealing with it. Conflating those two things is your attempt to paint me as you originally wished to.

      Maybe one day you will find the peace you are missing in your life that makes you so seemingly, well, incomplete.
      Again, YOU are the one that went off on a woman and her elderly mother for having the audacity to attempt to educate people on an issue important to most people with disabilities. If anyone needs to find a bit of "peace" here, the signs don't point to me.

      C.
      Last edited by Tiger Racing; 24 Jun 2007, 7:25 PM.

      Comment


        #18
        Ouch...poor woman - yet still kinda funny.

        I have a permanent plate as well. I love pulling up into an accessible space and seeing people stare at me...waiting to get out and run into the store. When I feel them looking, I usually sit there for a minute or two, listening to the radio - just to make them wait.

        Then...BOO YAH - I whip my chair out of the back seat. It's so funny to see someone be disappointed that they won't be able to lecture me or give me a nasty look.

        I am obviously easily amused.
        "Your love is just the antidote when nothing else will cure me" ~Sarah McLachlan

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          #19
          Wheelieboy, although I don't think what you got was a lecture from that woman in the lot, I don't think you are bemoaning her actions and accusing her of doing anything wrong, besides maybe being a bit too quick to judge. It's clear, from your first post, that you recognize your own response, being a bit rash and probably more harsh than necessary, which you explicitly pointed out more than once, regarding your own irritability, impatience, and curt reactionary tone:
          It was REALLY hot in Atlanta today might I add so the heat was making me slightly more irratable than usual.

          While I applaud her efforts, people like this should really look before they leap because you just may annoy the very people you are trying to look out for.
          Seems pointless to go into all the "maybe's" about this woman and her reasons for addressing you. You can make all the assumptions til you're blue in the face about "maybe this" or "maybe that", and if that's the case, you might as well just as easily say, "maybe she should have known I had a chair in the back seat and not have tapped my window", or even "maybe she is psychic and should have envisioned the wheelchair in my car before approaching it.", and while you're at it, suppose "maybe she is a secret wheelchair hater with plans of global domination of HC parking by elderly cane users".

          But why? You are only describing YOUR RESPONSE, in the moment, since that is all you can know, while at the same time, acknowledging the intention of the woman's actions being most likely well-meaning, and something you do applaud. Try not to get baited by trolls and feed their anger, and the argumentative tone and judgments they exhibit. It's merely a weak and lazy way to get your attention.

          You should try to remember tho, that just as you say, that people should be careful about annoying the very people they are trying to look out for, this in turn also applies to you and how you respond to them. Maybe you'll respond to a similar situation differently next time, maybe not. But if I had to guess, I'd say you probably will. Tough call though, if it was another hot day.... and after getting ticketed by some pervy cop...

          Comment


            #20


            Originally posted by Wheelieboy
            "Excuse me but you are parked in a handicapped spot and..." and before she could finish I gave her the most evil glare. Then she noticed my big ass wheelchair and wheels seated in the back seat. I then said "lady, I will take your mother's cane any day over this wheelchair." Then she proceeds to say, "well, I just always approach people who are parked in handicapped spots illegally you understand, don't you?" I said "Lady, I understand more than you OR your mother ever will at least she can walk." With that, she creeped away sheepishly to her car
            Originally posted by Tiger_Racing
            You practically cuss out a woman. YOU are the one that went off on a woman and her elderly mother
            Did I miss something?

            She was a bit quick to judge and you weren't rude. It was probly the norm of a response, atleast I would have said something similiar, but very jokingly as her intention was in the right place. Life keeps rollin'.





            Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches. It's more like a jar of jalapenos--What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

            If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby. Carlos Mencia

            Comment


              #21
              Originally posted by chick
              But why? You are only describing YOUR RESPONSE, in the moment, since that is all you can know, while at the same time, acknowledging the intention of the woman's actions being most likely well-meaning, and something you do applaud. Try not to get baited by trolls and feed their anger, and the argumentative tone and judgments they exhibit. It's merely a weak and lazy way to get your attention.
              Now why can't others get that? Yes, Chick-a you are correct and since that was the first time something like that happened to me, I'll be smoother in my response as I am no longer a "virgin" to the experience. As for the angry tigers, whoops.....I mean trolls, sometimes it is oh-so-difficult to take the high road, as I would like to believe they can be reasoned with but I guess that's just great expectations on my part.

              Fortunately, we don't have too many pervvy cops here in Georgia. Now school teachers, that's another story!

              Comment


                #22
                Originally posted by 2jazzyjeff
                Life keeps rollin'.
                Ain't that the truth? However, I intend to limit my rolling in the city on days when it is 95 plus degrees.

                Comment


                  #23
                  Originally posted by darkeyed_daisy
                  At least you werent lectured for using your handicapped tag in a blue parking space with an expectant mothers sign on it.....our local hospital has taken one of their handicapped spaces and converted it to expectant mother parking.

                  We have a section in our local paper called the "Rants and Raves" section. People can call in anonymous rants and raves.....

                  These parking spaces have caused more ruckous than non handicapped people parking in handicapped spots....

                  I use the expectant mother parking if another space is not available. Most people rant because elderly people use their handicapped placard in these spaces..... I am young enough I guess for people to not know I am expecting LOL....
                  I've always been afraid to park in those expectant mother spots. Although I could get away with it...the last thing I want is people thinking I'm pregnant, or jinxing myself. I live in a town where too many poeple know everybody...last thing I want is rumors. Being not the smallest of women, the biggest insult is being asked if you're pregnant(which hasn't happened yet thankfully)...only to have to tell the poor soul, "no, I'm just fat"(I'd much rather avoid having to state the obvious).

                  This thread reminded me of a t-shirt I saw at cafepress... It says, If you want my parking spot you can take my disability too. Its really irritating seeing just how much handicap permits are abused.

                  Jennifer

                  Comment


                    #24
                    My oldest daughter and I ran into a couple of those "check to see if you have the tag" types at Wendy's one day. I was giving her a driving lesson, and when we pulled into the H/C spot they could only see her -- young and so very healthy. They stared, pointed and whispered as they went in.

                    When we finally got me unloaded, into my chair, and into the restaurant, they saw us again and realized that we did belong in the HC parking space. The look on their faces (after the dirty looks they had given her earlier) was priceless.

                    Ironically, the spot we took was at the end of a whole row of parking that had no cars at all except ours and theirs. We could have actually parked anywhere on the row and been fine to get me out.

                    On the other hand, we went down to the neighborhood pool one day earlier this summer only to find the only H/C spot taken by a vehicle with no H/C tag. The HC spot is very important down there, because it is on the end and the rest of the spaces are too tight to get my wheelchair positioned beside me.

                    I did a little "asking around" and learned that the offender was the PRESIDENT of our neighborhood association, an AB woman with two AB children. When I confronted her about it (very politely), she was duly embarrassed. She even confessed that she was the one who put the H/C sign up in the first place.

                    :-) WantToLive (Sharon)
                    Cancer-related SCI, 12/26/2005
                    http://www.mylifewithcancer.com

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Friday I found a car parked in front of my physical therapist office with a boy in it sitting alone. The last spot wide enough to get out. We find a spot at the end and park crooked so I can be sure to get back in. Getting into the car was another pt from the place I go. Her husband is a walking para. He was not with them. I was fuming. This is the same lady who was talking about ordering a new stepper for the clinic. I showed her the nustep and thought she was sold. What came in last week? A regular stepper that I can't use. I like the guy that helps me but I don't understand her. Esp with her husband.

                      I would have tapped on her window but she was already gone.
                      Last edited by addiesue; 24 Jun 2007, 10:29 PM.
                      If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


                      Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

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                        #26
                        Yup yup yup .... because Chad cannot drive, we are not allowed to have permanent plates, only a hang tag. But, we have a conversion van, and so its hard to see the placard sometimes (which, by the way, technically belongs to another member of this board because ours got shredded and I never find the time to go get another one!!). It frequently happens that I pull into a H/C spot (when we bother trying a H/C spot given the ramp length we need), I hop out of the van to go open the doors for Chad. Then, my son will hop out of the back. Then the dog. For those in the parking lot, I can always tell who is lurking about to make sure I am legitimately using the space .... but when they see the ramp go down, down, down and Chad's hulking space age headset driven chair come out, they all scurry away.

                        Yuppers, BTDT!! I feel your pain. Well, sorta! lol ...
                        Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

                        Comment


                          #27
                          It's funny our different reactions to people. Most of the time, I read people bitching about cops & security guards not doing their job. I've only been questioned 3 times by people when I pulled into a hc space. Two were city cops and one was a sheriff and I've resented all three.
                          Last edited by flicka; 24 Jun 2007, 10:19 PM. Reason: fuck up
                          ____________________

                          "We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."
                          - Barack Obama

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                            #28
                            Originally posted by zillazangel
                            Yup yup yup .... because Chad cannot drive, we are not allowed to have permanent plates, only a hang tag.
                            Is there a reason you want plates vs. a hang tag? Is one better than the other?

                            Originally posted by zillazangel
                            But, we have a conversion van, and so its hard to see the placard sometimes (which, by the way, technically belongs to another member of this board because ours got shredded and I never find the time to go get another one!!).
                            Does having a conversion van always mean a placard is difficult to see? Are your windows tinted? Are you assuming that everyone is shorter than the dash level of your van? And, by the way, you are admitting that you are breaking the law by using another person's placard.


                            Originally posted by zillazangel
                            It frequently happens that I pull into a H/C spot (when we bother trying a H/C spot given the ramp length we need), I hop out of the van to go open the doors for Chad. Then, my son will hop out of the back. Then the dog. For those in the parking lot, I can always tell who is lurking about to make sure I am legitimately using the space ....
                            And you can tell who is "lurking about" how? And you know they are waiting to see you are legitimately using the space - how would you know that? Maybe they are playing mental solitaire, maybe they are waiting for their aunt who is getting her nails done at the salon next to the store you are going to, maybe they are lost in thought, and maybe, just maybe, they are standing there waiting to ask you a question about disability. If you would look at it as an opportunity to educate, maybe you would have less bitterness in your life.


                            Originally posted by zillazangel
                            but when they see the ramp go down, down, down and Chad's hulking space age headset driven chair come out, they all scurry away.
                            From your use of the grin faces, multiple uses, it would appear you take pleasure in embarrassing others. This completely reinforces the stereotype of the bitter caregiving wife of a disabled man.

                            Originally posted by zillazangel
                            Yuppers, BTDT!! I feel your pain. Well, sorta! lol ...
                            I really doubt you feel his pain. One cannot compare the annoyances of a caregiver to the realities of being disabled. Despite your acknowlegment of this, you have much to learn.
                            Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

                            Comment


                              #29
                              that's sorta but so funny to me. Maybe becasue I am so bored.
                              If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


                              Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

                              Comment


                                #30
                                What the hell happened above?

                                Ami, do you enjoy answering yourself in TR fashion?





                                Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches. It's more like a jar of jalapenos--What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

                                If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby. Carlos Mencia

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