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    Use of the phrase "Confined to a wheelchair"

    OK, I need your opinions. When I hear anyone describe a wheelchair user as "confined" to a wheeler, it makes my blood boil. When someone says that about Chad (we here it all the time) I have to struggle mightily to not say something massively rude. As you all know here, I am terrifically talented at being rude - one of my charming personality traits.

    SO - does that term offend you? Or am I somehow taking on a crip personality that has a chip on my shoulder?????

    If I'm out of line in that irritating me, I'll try to not make me mad. It just implies to me "poor, poor, poor victim who is STUCK forever and ev-ah to a terrible plight in life". No one says that are confined to crutches or a cane do they?
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

    #2
    offends me. i was even more shocked when my neighbor referred to me as "bedridden" because i can't just hop outta bed to answer the door ...

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      #3
      Sometimes I feel like I am "confined" to motherhood and paying bills....LOL

      Oh well... It does make it sound like he is in a "prison of a life". Maybe the people saying this automatically assume everyone likes to be pitied...and sympathized???

      I like to throw my own pity parties on my own terms....and invite who I want to invite. My thing is "you look like youre gittin' along better"...small town talk ya know... Sometimes I feel like saying its only been seventeen years and you either choose to live or choose not to.

      Its kind of like strangers handling my daughters hands when she was a baby....nothing errkkss me more. I know that people just try to be nice but just say how are you? fine and go on....LOL

      I really dont feel confined but I dont want to be reminded that I am confined to this painful life either.
      T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

      My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

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        #4
        Doesn't or rather wouldn't bother me. Never heard someone use that term towards me. I just get, ''in a chair''..

        Crippled or crip bothers me more than anything and I'm getting use to it since being here since a lot of ppl. use it.

        My best friends boys call me ''Sped''.. short for Special Ed..





        Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches. It's more like a jar of jalapenos--What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

        If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby. Carlos Mencia

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          #5
          Originally posted by 2jazzyjeff
          Doesn't or rather wouldn't bother me. Never heard someone use that term towards me. I just get, ''in a chair''..

          Crippled or crip bothers me more than anything and I'm getting use to it since being here since a lot of ppl. use it.

          My best friends boys call me ''Sped''.. short for Special Ed..
          I'm so sorry Jeff!! Chad says it allll the time and alot of people here to do, but I apologize for offending you that way. (( apologies)) But thanks for the repsonse, these are helping.
          Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

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            #6
            No need to apologize Ami.. but thanks. It just seemes that ''cripple'' is just a harsh word rather than handicapped. When I envision ''cripple'', I think of someone that is mangled from a wreck.. trust me, it's me and I don't mind it so much now.. We all have phrases or sayings that we have to overcome, right? That was mine..





            Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches. It's more like a jar of jalapenos--What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

            If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby. Carlos Mencia

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              #7
              I haven't heard the confined part as much as bedridden. Sure, I've been in bed for several weeks at a time for pressure sores, but I'm still able to get out of it. I don't know that it bothers me so much or that I'm just used to it any more. Just try to maybe a little education opportunity as not confined, but uses, or something of the sort. We get out of our chairs on occasion to do other things, but they are just the easiest form of transportation.
              C2/3 quad since February 20, 1985.

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                #8
                The description doesn't bother me at all. When I describe myself as gibbled or anything like that it seems to bother other people more. As a matter of fact I just read a new label today that gave me a good laugh. Jeff's "Sped" name gave me a chuckle too, it's fairly creative.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by zillazangel
                  When I hear anyone describe a wheelchair user as "confined" to a wheeler, it makes my blood boil.
                  It doesn't make me angry, but I find it annoying in that it is extremely inaccurate and paints the wrong picture. If anything, a wheelchair frees one, it doesn't confine them. I point that out to people when they use the term and try to make sure that the phrase is never used in any printed article that I am associated with.

                  No one says that are confined to crutches or a cane do they?
                  No, 'cause those gimps will beat you with their supportive devices.

                  C.

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                    #10
                    The confined to a chair does bug me along with crippled. I also hate "requires 24 hour a day care" the only people that really & truly require the 24 hour a day care are the vent dependent quads/

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                      #11
                      Good topic Ami! I find it interesting how the same word or phrase affects so many people differently. "Confined to a wheelchair" doesn't bother me ( or him, I just asked him) because for mobility purposes, unless driving, he IS confined to the wheelchair. What does offend us is when people assume he is RETARDED and treat him as such. We can only assume that somehow to them wheelchair = retarded. But, then again, sometimes he ACTS retarded so that assumption is not always totally unfounded on their part!

                      Case in point: Going down the aisle at the store, singing and dancing, with me hissing from another aisle---"Stop it! Stop it! You're making a spectacle of yourself!" Just my luck, another guy further up his aisle is doing the same! And so he YELLS, "BUT HE'S DOING IT TOO! SEE???!!!" Retarded? You be the judge! True, some might call me a kill-joy, but he does this kind of crap to me all the time!

                      haha! JefferEffer is Sped.
                      Last edited by WM; 30 Nov 2006, 11:49 PM.
                      "I just want you to know, it was the best time ever." J.F.F.

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                        #12
                        Zilla

                        I get a little ticked at people who want everything politically correct. Thin skinned and easy offended don't do well around me.To me it's almost a false humility . I have heard the term crippled, to handicapped, to disabled. A person cannot have everything their way. Some people don't like the term crippled. I say tough get over it. I have worked in nursing homes for 17 yrs now. Most of the old folks only knew the term crippled. Thats what they learned, that was their life. So they say crippled, what do we do get offended and change them, even at 90. So if someone wants to say confined to a wheelchair thats fine with me. I mean is it a total lie. I mean they are trying to describe a situation to the best of their ability.And we all need a little forgiveness now and then.
                        Last edited by murrey; 1 Dec 2006, 12:02 AM.

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by 2jazzyjeff
                          Doesn't or rather wouldn't bother me. Never heard someone use that term towards me. I just get, ''in a chair''..

                          Crippled or crip bothers me more than anything and I'm getting use to it since being here since a lot of ppl. use it.

                          My best friends boys call me ''Sped''.. short for Special Ed..
                          Shouldn't that be "Spej"..for Special Jeff? Or Spev..for Special Veg?
                          "The world will not perish for want of wonders but for want of wonder."
                          J.B.S.Haldane

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                            #14
                            The term "confined to a wheelchair" used to bug me but, as I modify my attitude toward the facilitation of a cure, it does much less so because it foucuses the association and might induce the individuals exposed to it to want to get me/us out of that confinement.

                            "Shutin", is a term I've heard and really resent.
                            "The world will not perish for want of wonders but for want of wonder."
                            J.B.S.Haldane

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by Juke_spin
                              Shouldn't that be "Spej"..for Special Jeff? Or Spev..for Special Veg?
                              I'll stick to ''Sped'', but thanks.. We shall call you ''Spuke'', not to be confused with Special Juke, but more like Special Puke..





                              Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches. It's more like a jar of jalapenos--What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

                              If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby. Carlos Mencia

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