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    Depressed

    I'm getting moe and more Depressed every day I'm already taking 14 medications now and they say I need a increase because I've been on them for 4 years with out any adjustments and my pain leve is getting worse every day my life is going down hill , I've asked for help but it seems like nobody cares what I do several years ago I tried to commit took a over dose of medication and called a friend to say bye , but he called 911 , it really was just asking for help I finally got some is that the only way to get help ,I've talked to DR.'s and they say try this pill or that pill when my problem is just being in pain for 21 years and very lonely , I'm not a bad person yet I seem to have no friends nobody ever calls my own 2 daughters don't bother with me, my wife works 60-70 hours aweek to be away from me they all say I repeat my self , but it all this medication I think or maybe something else ,I getting very forgetful , I have a seizure disorder ,I have been getting shakes my hands will shake without any control , I'm dropping thing this has all come on in the past 2 months but it seems like it's getting worse , is my life really worth living even people on the internet tell me to email them , I never get a response , maybe it's time for that overdose without calling anyone , even that person that called 911 that time says he'll be over and never comes , I even offer to take him out to lunch , and lately I've become very to a point that I'll cry for hardly no reason , even in carecure the staff get all mad at me for repeating myself on a post , I put one up for my wife under new sci and the moved it to care, there was one point a nurse made a list of posts that i put up but was asking different questions maybe it's like my father did he told his DR. he was ready to throw in the towel the DR said ok and put him on morphine to keep him comfortable that was at 2 pm he died at 3 am that night I was with him maybe it's my time for that to , my father had a lot of problems too , and no friends either it's a lonely way to die just watching tv ,or on the computer sitting in pain eating these pills that aren't working and waiting to die ,MY LIFE SUCKS ;LBUSH ONE DAY SOON I"LL BE GONE!
    Last edited by LBUSH49; 22 Aug 2006, 8:02 PM.

    #2
    if you're on all these meds (which ones?) then it could be that overmedication and/or interactions may be messing up your brain function & possibly responsible for all the repeat posts.

    personally i would recommend professional counseling. if your local rehab offers mental health services, find a good psychologist (NOT a psychiatrist - the difference being psychiatrists are MD's and more likely to look for pharmacological solutions) and a pain clinic willing to try behavioral treatments. good luck.
    "The only true currency in this bankrupt world...is what you share with someone else when you're uncool." - Almost Famous

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      #3
      when I go to a DR. appointment I always bring a copy of my up to date copy of all the meds I take so they all know whats what LBUSH

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        #4
        Are you already on an anti-depressant or have you tried them before? I also suffer from depression and did before my accident as well so it's nothing new. I have found anti-depressants to be beneficial, although therapy is certainly a big help too. Sometimes medication can help you get well enough to go through counseling to help cope. If you ever need to talk, PM me and I will answer you - I promise. As a side note, when I was depressed I also thought everyone ignored me and didn't care about me - but once I started on anti-depressants I could see that depression was clouding my outlook. Yes, people were irritated with the way I was acting, but they never abandoned me as I thought.

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          #5
          LBUSH,

          Beneath all the layers of depression and anger which you hold is a pure, loving spirit made completely of the Divine. You must trust and know that this spirit is there and can be harnessed. To become aware of this presence is not always easy especially when anger and resentment have been building up over years. But you must make the choice to devote yourself to finding the perfect presence within you, and once you catch your first glimpse, the experience will drive you to continue onwards.

          To begin the spiritual journey is not an easy one and the ups and downs will most likely continue but such is life. Even during the downtimes it is possible to rest in a state of peace knowing that there is a Divine presence within and all around us. This Divine presence is what makes life possible and awareness of this presence is what makes life beautiful.

          Try some inspirational reading. It's a big help.

          Eckhart Tolle is one of my favorite authors.

          After my injury, if I had not fought to find my spirit and learn from those who are wiser, I would never have been at the state of mental health I am at now.

          It is also my opinion that medication is not the way to go. I agree that psychologists are much better than psychiatrists.

          Take care,

          Colin
          www.ballincolin.spaces.live.com
          www.youtube.com/colinsodyssey

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            #6
            Larry, when you had the consult for your conduit surgery a couple of months ago the physician had suggested you go to counseling before the surgery.

            You're asking for help. That's great. Getting it is up to you. There are things you can do to help yourself, but you have to be the one to actually do the work.

            Get yourself to a psychologist for counseling.

            BTW, some of the many meds you're on can have depressive effects. While it's likely not all a medication issue, it may or may not contribute to the feelings you have.

            I wish you the best.

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              #7
              listen to dr. starlight. yes, she is dr. in field you seem to need. sounds like too many meds to me too.

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                #8
                Do you have a hobby separate from all the medical issues and family? Something only you can think and know about and do? Maybe it's time to find such hobby.

                I find sleep to be the best pain control.
                Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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                  #9
                  I know you've already explained you're in pain, but is there anything you could go to Physical therapy for? Not just to relieve some of your pain, but to have a reason to go out, and set some goals. The people who work at the PT places can be very motivational and caring. Even if its something really small like them helping you with range of motion or something like that its really beneficial; You get a human touch, from someone who cares about what they're doing, the added health benefits, a regular reason to go out which is all your own, and all the little social interactions along the way.
                  Just a thought. And PLEASE know that everyone genuinely does care about you, ESPECIALLY your family. Don't kill yourself, the world is full of happiness, it just takes work to find it sometimes.
                  Don't think of yourself as an ugly person, just a beautiful monkey.
                  Always remember: if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

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                    #10
                    In 2004 when I got my Spinal Stimulator that was something I had to do first was to speak with a psychologist for 3 visits before they would do that operation and it's the same DR. who wants to take over my pain management I don't know just what his plans are yet but he set up a appointment with someone in his office for me to see first for a 30 minute visit , I don't know if he's going to increase or decrease my medication , I go see my Primary DR. first , I'll let you know the outcome ,thanks; LBUSH

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                      #11
                      Want to talk to someone? I care. PM me and I'll call you or I'll send you my number. -- Ami
                      Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by LBUSH49
                        In 2004 when I got my Spinal Stimulator that was something I had to do first was to speak with a psychologist for 3 visits before they would do that operation and it's the same DR. who wants to take over my pain management I don't know just what his plans are yet but he set up a appointment with someone in his office for me to see first for a 30 minute visit , I don't know if he's going to increase or decrease my medication , I go see my Primary DR. first , I'll let you know the outcome ,thanks; LBUSH
                        psychologists are not MDs and cannot prescribe medications. only a psychiatrist or other MD can do that most likely the psychologist will recommend thihgs like relaxation, biofeedback, counselling. maybe can even d/c some of the pills. if you can set up weekly sessions it will at least get you out of the house and someone to talk with on a regular basis. good luck.
                        "The only true currency in this bankrupt world...is what you share with someone else when you're uncool." - Almost Famous

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                          #13
                          Hi Starlightangle , have you ever heard of REIKI when I was in the hospital they gave me some pamphlet on it , I guess a lot of cancer patients use it and I never heard of it , my wife set up a appointment for me on sept.6 th my Primary DR.'s names is used he has M.S. and goes for chemo and has it done on him ,have you heard of it? And thank you all for caring it means a lot to me LBUSH

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                            #14
                            Larry,

                            I got your IM's...keep in touch...I care too...

                            Take care, God bless...

                            Teena

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                              #15
                              I really liked what madcolin said.

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