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Bar stories!

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  • Bar stories!

    So with all the hangover stories lately (I have a few myself there), I thought we need a thread to share crazy drunken nights that we've had at the bars. I've only had a couple so there isn't much for me to tell, although last night had a few good moments! Funny, crazy, good, bad....whatever you wanna share.

    Give me a little time to get a few legal weekends under my belt before I toss up any stories.
    If there is light
    it will find

    --Charles Bukowski

  • #2
    This is a great idea for a thread.

    Um, I've never had a hangover...or been drunk *gulp*

    I feel weird admitting that, because it tends to shock people. Teetotallers really seem to be in the minority.

    Nonetheless, it's going to be fun reading about people's alcohol-induced mishaps!


    • #3
      nothing too exciting last night.. i too need time to get some stories. anyhoo, i did my usual, going to pick up my 2 friends and going to this rest./bar to watch 2 friends play guitar and sing. we were drinking pretty good and being the responsible person that i am (yeah right), i quit early so that someone could drive. the expression on my buddy's face when the check came ($170.00), was priceless!! tequila shots get expensive fast!!

      we left and got a call from a friend that came late, her car was out of gas in the parking lot. i turned around and we went to the station for some gas. my buddy, who is lit from tequila, got out and was pumping gas into a gallon can. i had my window down and was smelling gas really strong, so i looked out and dumbass was pumping more gas on the concrete than in the can!! i was yelling, and laughing, ''asshole, gas goes in the can!!''
      like i said, not too exciting, but funny little things that i get a laugh from..

      Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches. It's more like a jar of jalapenos--What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

      If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby. Carlos Mencia


      • #4
        I remember a looooooooong time ago, when I was Carrie's age, actually... I dropped acid with a bunch of friends and went to a bar. We were sittin there, next to these two jocks. They looked so stupid and jockey, I couldn't stop laughing at them. They got all pissed off, asking me what my effin problem was, and I just laughed even harder. I couldn't stop! Finally they got up to take me outside and beat the crap out of me. The other five friends I was trippin with got up out of their chairs and said 'Sure! Let's go!'.

        Then I laughed even harder. Man, jocks are dumb!


        • #5
          I can't believe you started this thread while CLC is in hospital

          OK....I have's remembering them that's my problem. =

          Pre-injury, I used to go with about 6 friends every summer to watch the British Grand Prix. I don't even like F1 racing but it was more about camping in fields, eating NOTHING but badly burned meat grilled by drunken idiots, falling over in mud, covering your friend's car in slices of bread and butter - which marked the windows with grease forever - and drinking solidly from Friday lunchtime until the early hours of Monday morning so your hangover kicked in about Wednesday when you were back at work wondering why you ever went and anticipating your post weekend shit.....three days of consumed meat coming out in pretty much the same state it went in.

          You get the idea.

          Friday night. Massive beer tent. Football on the telly, tribute band warming up, lots of beer in plastic glasses.

          I peaked too early and, after a busy week at work, decided to have a nap with my head on the table before rejoining the drinking. I can sleep ANYWHERE.

          About 90 minutes later I wake up. There's a band playing in the corner but no-one is watching them......EVERYONE, maybe 150 people, is turned looking at me.

          As I sleepily open my eyes and feel cold liquid running down my neck, the crowd starts cheering and clapping me. Being drunk I did the honourable thing...raised both fists in the air like I had scored a goal and acknowledged the applause.....milked it even, nodding my head and smiling while wondering WTF?

          I could see my friends crying with laughter and various bar staff looking pissed off.

          It transpires that while I was asleep my friends had begun seeing how many stacked plastic pint pots they could stack on my head and shoulders without

          a - waking me up

          b - the stack of plastic pint glasses falling off

          This idea had caught on and other people began bringing over their own stacks of glasses and standing them on me as well - queuing up to join in. The band were baffled as the crowd turned their backs and began cheering this spectacle in the corner. The bar staff were annoyed because they were running out of glasses for beer but couldn't get near me.

          By the time I woke up I looked like a Perspex Stegasaurus. I suppose there's worst things a drunken crowd could have done to me.

          All weekend people recognised me as the 'sleepy stacked up glasses' guy.

          Some even bought me drinks
          C5/6 incomplete

          "I assume you all have guns and crack....."


          • #6

            You've NEVER been drunk?! Why not? Lol.

            One time, a lady came up to me and said, "If only you were blonde." Gosh, I can't win either way!
            Last edited by roshni; 08-20-2006, 03:09 PM.


            • #7
              Originally posted by roshni

              You've NEVER been drunk?! Why not? Lol.

              One time, a lady came up to me and said, "If only you were blonde." Gosh, I can't win either way!

              Well, there's a good reason; since the first drink I had - a glass of wine on Christmas day when I was somewhere under 10 - alcohol gives me chest pain...It can hurt a lot (increases the more I drink; even a mouthful of lager makes my chest hurt)

              It used to give me stomach ache too, but I can't feel my stomach anymore, lol.

              The pain is too bad for me ever to be able to drink enough to get drunk (I'd be in agony before I got drunk). So, I tend not to drink at all (except for a swig here and there from my bf's drink!), but I'm not that bothered, to be honest.

              I figure that my body is telling me it really does not like alcohol.

              So anyway...
              What did the woman mean by the "if only you were blonde" comment?


              • #8

                Not much of a story. Can't remember throwing it. They say I hit the guy taking picture in head. I hate getting my picture taken. Also heard I almost got arrested two or three times that night. I just love weddings. Tons of champagne. Little after party at the closest bar. Good times.


                • #9
                  I love bars, bands, eating, laughing, and drinking. I started getting served in my mid-teens and still support my local bartenders regularly. Over the years, I've accumulated many stories. Let me share two that happened at my favorite music bar.

                  All you fellows know how ugly a Saturday night men's room is in even the nicest bar. The staff just doesn't have time to keep up with all the guys with poor aim or the kids that get sick.

                  So I was out in the parking lot behind the dumpster cathing. I've got a hugely distended bladder with enormous capacity. Not wishing to create a river, I sprayed onto some very large pieces of cardboard stacked behind the dumpster, careful to spread my attention to a very wide area. I figured the cardboard would absorb the urine which would burn off quickly in the tropical morning sun of the next day.

                  Imagine my surprise when the cardboard first moved slightly then moaned! I got out of there very fast. Inside I told my story to the bartender, a good friend. He explained that one of our many transient visitors had been sleeping in that location for the last few nights.

                  The first story, like most bar tales, ran longer than expected. I'll leave the other story for another day.

                  "We have met the enemy and he is us."-POGO.

                  "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it."~Edgar Allan Poe

                  "Dream big, you might never wake up!"- Snoop Dogg