Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

suicide

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    #46
    Originally posted by leschinsky
    For me the first 3 years were the worst.
    I agree. I was pretty bad off, but my problems were pain driven. The injury didn't bother me as much as the pain did. I couldn't get away from it and that made me suicidal. I ended up on antidepressants along with my pain medications. Once I got to a point where I felt I could handle it, I quit taking the antidepressants. I still had days where the pain was excuciating and I would cry it was so bad. I often told my husband that it wasn't fair--animals are put down so they don't suffer, why can't I be put down?

    Depression was a big part of the years prior to my chair because I was stuck in the house. I am an outdoors person. My pain kept me from doing the things I enjoyed. While I could still walk, I tired easily and pushing myself to walk increased my pain. My chair was actually a blessing--it took me more than six months to realize it though. Learning a new way of doing things and how to navigate in the chair was a frustrating process.

    I chose to look at the positives. The chair has helped me get my life back and be active again. The first thing I did the day I got my chair was go for a "walk" in the park and fed the waterfowl that resides there. I also went fishing daily. It makes it possible for me to hold a job. I felt like a caged animal in my house, so I'm thankful I can get out and about once again.
    http://official-linerider.com/index.html

    Comment


      #47
      OK, so I am possibly one of the only ones here that really hasn't had post SCI suicidal thoughts...HOWEVER, pre SCI I had them a LOT...I've always gone through waves of deep depressions, and I would hit those really really low times when I'd think it would be easier if I just wasn't here anymore. The big change in those thoughts happened when one of my good friends succeeded in hanging himself. It absolutely CRUSHED myself and everyone we worked with, along with his family and all his friends outside of work. Whereas Ray was not the first friend I had to commit suicide, his affected me psychologically SOOO much more. It made me realize HOW MUCH suicide really affects everyone around you. It forced me to force the thoughts out of my mind whenever they started to creep in.

      Now, not to say that I haven't gotten depressed post SCI, because I have....As a matter of fact, until within the past 5-6 months I was on anti-depressants. I tried several times to wean off of them prior to that point and every time I discovered that I still DID need them and went back on them. I was very glad when I finally got off of them a few months ago however. I don't know if I had not been medicated wether or not I'd have gotten low enough to have the suicidal thoughts but I really don't think so...

      Regarding Cripply's question of if you got injured doing something you love if it makes a difference....Yeah, I think it does....I was a Theatre Tech and I got hurt at work...In my situation I was doing something I loved, where I'd been in the industry for a number of years already, living the dream. Back at the college, with a bunch of kids who were just starting out. Of all people who COULD HAVE been injured, I am glad that it happened to me and not someone who hadn't gotten the opportunities that I had already had. My accident caused them to put in the safety systems that SHOULD HAVE been in place already so that no-one else in the futures should get injured.

      When I look at all these things combined, I think that they are all factors in why I haven't had suicidal thoughts post SCI...I do still occasionally get depressed, but as I said, I had those waves of depression pre-SCI so I don't know how much of it is caused by my injury and how much of it is caused by my own physiology...
      'Chelle
      L-1 inc 11/24/03

      "My Give-a-Damn's Busted"......

      Comment


        #48
        Originally posted by Broknwing
        The big change in those thoughts happened when one of my good friends succeeded in hanging himself. It absolutely CRUSHED myself and everyone we worked with, along with his family and all his friends outside of work. Whereas Ray was not the first friend I had to commit suicide, his affected me psychologically SOOO much more. It made me realize HOW MUCH suicide really affects everyone around you. It forced me to force the thoughts out of my mind whenever they started to creep in.
        Bingo, Chelle. The 21st will be a year that my friend hung himself, and it still is in my mind every single day. I never had anything affect me like that before, and it completely made me look at my friends differently and appreciate them so much more.
        If there is light
        it will find
        you

        --Charles Bukowski

        Comment


          #49
          I have been a quadriplegic over 35 years. I have worn my ass out and now face the possibility of spending most of my life in bed.
          Sometimes it's hard to find reasons to continue.
          I lost my soulmate of 25 years 18 months ago.
          My live-in caregiver is moving on in two weeks.
          I am lonely, tired, uninspired, and wondering
          how much more I can take.

          Comment


            #50
            ((Hos))

            I hate when people tell me this when I'm feeling bad but it's so true ...

            There's a reason you exist.

            This website is great in that we can all take comfort in knowing that we are not alone in our struggles.
            Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

            T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

            Comment


              #51
              Thanks to those who've commented in general and in relation to my situation. I feel a bit better this weekend but the only way is to move forward with my life. I know this will happen but it's me that has to take control and I haven't really had any drive for a while. I think I've found a nice apartment to rent - just got to take the plunge.

              Sorry for sidetracking your thread slightly cripply.
              C5/6 incomplete

              "I assume you all have guns and crack....."

              Comment


                #52
                My friend committed suicide in Dec after 24 years of living with depression and pain after being attacked by a bear. We all understood, although she left behind 3 children. Last month I read about a new medical procedure that has cured depression in minutes. Now I am thinking, if she only hung on for 3 more months. As an AB, I can only say, that if you SCI folk can give love, you are valuable to someone, no matter what your body can or cannot do. People are out in the world who need love, try to find them.

                Many of you have helped me cope with my daughter's SCI more than you will ever know. Thank you. I needed you and you were there. Please hold on.

                Comment


                  #53
                  Why not a forum for SUICIDE? Most surely I be bombarded with...

                  ...objections shouting that this whole site is built on hope. Hope for better care, hope for cure. Suicide = negative = has no place here, or has it?

                  With rare exception, I refuse to believe that at some point, trauma origin or not, all SCI flirt with thoughts of entering the express check-out line of life. Many, many factors contribute to these initial thoughts of suicide, as well as subsequent recurring thoughts, eventually getting past the thoughts or, ultimately succumbing and acting on the escape route from life.
                  When discussing suicide v. sci; Should some learned person make the arguement, I'd be easily convinced that our creator's architects intentionally designed our hands to decomission early in the march up the spinal cord ladder, as the severity of the injury worsens from lumbar, to thoracic, to cervical. The high cervicals, having the least quality of life, and therefore the most motivation for suicidal thoughts, are left with the least physical ability to do so.

                  Conversely however, the thresholds for tolerating our disabilities varies from person to person. Otherwise, Cripply should have no bitch when compared to Hos. Then again, as mentioned, AB's are off-ing themselves by the dozens on a daily basis for the most bullshit of reasons, yet to them, their matters are untenable. I just wish they'd first donate their friggin spinal cords to science.

                  It's not very hard to merely blink our eyes to all-of-a-sudden see the previously half full sci glass and see it half empty. The CURE FORUM cycles from positive to negative, and back again, just by reading down the different threads. I'd go crazy if I followed it too closely.

                  CARE FORUM; rename it the Bowel/ Bladder/ Pressure Sore Forum. Then create an Everything Else Forum.

                  RELATIONSHIP/ SEXUALITY FORUM; Hah, what a farce. Rename it the Fertility/ Dirty Joke Forum. Add another named; Relationship/ Divorce Advice Forum.

                  CAREGIVING FORUM; Rename it Horror Reasons of Having Family Care For You/ Horror Reasons of Having Outside Help Caring for You.

                  LEGISLATION/ FUNDRAISING FORUM: > Reasons We Will Remain in Our Chairs Forum

                  Yeah, sci sux that much

                  Comment


                    #54
                    Rehab you have to stick around, man. David wants to go back and see his home (Blythe Bridge) .. I intend to come with him. When this will occur (I have the next twenty years' worth of pay cheques spoken for), I have no idea ... but it will. lol
                    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

                    Comment


                      #55
                      Why not a forum for SUICIDE? Most he'll I be bombarded with...

                      Originally posted by Tim C.
                      . The CURE FORUM cycles from positive to negative, and back again, just by reading down the different threads. I'd go crazy if I followed it too closely.

                      CARE FORUM; rename it the Bowel/ Bladder/ Pressure Sore Forum. Then create an Everything Else Forum.

                      RELATIONSHIP/ SEXUALITY FORUM; Hah, what a farce. Rename it the Fertility/ Dirty Joke Forum. Add another named; Relationship/ Divorce Advice Forum.

                      CAREGIVING FORUM; Rename it Horror Reasons of Having Family Care For You/ Horror Reasons of Having Outside Help Caring for You.

                      LEGISLATION/ FUNDRAISING FORUM: > Reasons We Will Remain in Our Chairs Forum

                      Yeah, sci sux that much
                      Now that you've figured everything out for us, I guess well all shut down our computers and never come back to CareCure again. That is, after we've sent a message to Dr Young telling him what a bad idea it was, his having created, staffed, maintained and continuously sponsored this site and these forums.

                      I see from your PP that your "Interests" are "Getting up on my feet." and that you've been a CC member for about 31/2 years.

                      What have you done about trying to get up on your feet?

                      What have you done or are you doing toward your goal of being cured of your paralysis?

                      If all you want to do is sit around considering your profession to be "Disabled", feel sorry for yourself and take shots at what's being discussed on the boards here, don't expect to be taken too seriously.
                      "Sometimes I just sets and thinks...
                      and sometimes I just sets.
                      "

                      Otis Redding I think

                      Comment


                        #56
                        Originally posted by lynnifer
                        Rehab you have to stick around, man. David wants to go back and see his home (Blythe Bridge) .. I intend to come with him. When this will occur (I have the next twenty years' worth of pay cheques spoken for), I have no idea ... but it will. lol
                        Wow.....I don't live very far from Blythe Bridge! It's not the kind of place they normally let people leave.......how did he escape? Does he still have his banjo? lol
                        C5/6 incomplete

                        "I assume you all have guns and crack....."

                        Comment


                          #57
                          Jukee dookee, take a lookee.............I don't come to

                          bury Ceaser, but to praise CareCure/ Dr Young. I have great respect for the mission statement intended by this site, as well as the venue, DrYoung, et.al.
                          Please understand however, as of next month I will reach the unenviable position of 4 years SCI. As such, along with encountering about as many complications in these short four years that most SCI don't experience in a lifetime, I adopted a mainly satirical, if not militant, view of our lifestyles. I intend no insult, or malice, and have the best interest of our quest for cure in mind.
                          I participate in as many positive efforts for SCI as possible, including mentoring new SCI, and fund raising where I can. As far as responding to your specific questions, please read on;

                          I see from your PP that your "Interests" are "Getting up on my feet." and that you've been a CC member for about 31/2 years.
                          Yes, that's true, my interests have not changed, and your math is sharp.

                          What have you done about trying to get up on your feet?

                          ............I have rehabbed at Kessler, invested in exercise equip. as part of a gym I created in my home basement (had limited insurance and funds, had to hire pca out of pocket) so I follow a home based regimin.

                          What have you done or are you doing toward your goal of being cured of your paralysis?
                          .........I pettitioned, and was accepted as one of the 1st three sci to undergo OEG transplant in Beijing with Dr Huang. I followed this surgery with a fairly strong phys rehab program with help of my pca. I volunteered to share my progress and experience at several of Wise Young's open house lectures. I also spoke at the 1st annual Rally for the Cure event, and hope to participate again this year. I'd also like very much, health permitting, to participate in this year's W to W, in DC, but with my $ project coming to closure soon, I must put my family needs first.

                          If all you want to do is sit around considering your profession to be "Disabled", feel sorry for yourself and take shots at what's being discussed on the boards here, don't expect to be taken too seriously.
                          ........I 'sit' around only when I'm not on my standing frame, otherwise I tend to fall to the ground. Damn my sci and earth's gravity anyway. "Not being taken seriously" is one of the end goals of satire. A lite hearted outlook at life with combatting issues as serious as sci is not a too unhealthy approach, if it keeps you from becoming unglued. Again, as long as it's prefaced by announcing that you don't intend on being taken literally. When safely used in conjunction with the proper restraints, CC satire can be most effective.
                          Be happy to further answer any more of your comments.
                          Welcome to planet SCI, expect the unexpected.

                          Comment


                            #58
                            Wrong take; my mistake.

                            Jukee dookee, take a lookee.............I don't come to...
                            Originally posted by Tim C.
                            ...bury Ceaser, but to praise CareCure/ Dr Young. I have great respect for the mission statement intended by this site, as well as the venue, DrYoung, et.al.
                            Please understand however, as of next month I will reach the unenviable position of 4 years SCI. As such, along with encountering about as many complications in these short four years that most SCI don't experience in a lifetime, I adopted a mainly satirical, if not militant, view of our lifestyles. I intend no insult, or malice, and have the best interest of our quest for cure in mind.
                            I participate in as many positive efforts for SCI as possible, including mentoring new SCI, and fund raising where I can. As far as responding to your specific questions, please read on;

                            I see from your PP that your "Interests" are "Getting up on my feet." and that you've been a CC member for about 31/2 years.
                            Yes, that's true, my interests have not changed, and your math is sharp.

                            What have you done about trying to get up on your feet?

                            ............I have rehabbed at Kessler, invested in exercise equip. as part of a gym I created in my home basement (had limited insurance and funds, had to hire pca out of pocket) so I follow a home based regimin.

                            What have you done or are you doing toward your goal of being cured of your paralysis?
                            .........I pettitioned, and was accepted as one of the 1st three sci to undergo OEG transplant in Beijing with Dr Huang. I followed this surgery with a fairly strong phys rehab program with help of my pca. I volunteered to share my progress and experience at several of Wise Young's open house lectures. I also spoke at the 1st annual Rally for the Cure event, and hope to participate again this year. I'd also like very much, health permitting, to participate in this year's W to W, in DC, but with my $ project coming to closure soon, I must put my family needs first.

                            If all you want to do is sit around considering your profession to be "Disabled", feel sorry for yourself and take shots at what's being discussed on the boards here, don't expect to be taken too seriously.
                            ........I 'sit' around only when I'm not on my standing frame, otherwise I tend to fall to the ground. Damn my sci and earth's gravity anyway. "Not being taken seriously" is one of the end goals of satire. A lite hearted outlook at life with combatting issues as serious as sci is not a too unhealthy approach, if it keeps you from becoming unglued. Again, as long as it's prefaced by announcing that you don't intend on being taken literally. When safely used in conjunction with the proper restraints, CC satire can be most effective.
                            Be happy to further answer any more of your comments.
                            Welcome to planet SCI, expect the unexpected.
                            I usually do at least a quick sample scan of a members post profile before challanging them in the way I did you. Had I done so, I would have had the perspective to read the irony and humor that infuse your every line above.

                            I goofed and I apologize; you're much funnier than I'd have guessed. I could make all kinds of excuses but that's just what they'd be, excuses.

                            And thanks for welcoming me to planet SCI, it's cold in here but gets warmer toward the CC community fire.

                            I'm forty-four years post and have never put much faith in a cure. Now I'm long past the point where one could make any appreciable positive difference in my life. I do "pitch" for a cure, though, as I know that one is a probability eventually and, if it occurs durring my life, I'll give myself spiritual kudos for whatever contribution I may have made. It's a burden that future generations (I won't try to guess how far ahead) shouldn't and won't have to contend with.
                            "Sometimes I just sets and thinks...
                            and sometimes I just sets.
                            "

                            Otis Redding I think

                            Comment


                              #59
                              It´s obvious that we all wish for a cure, and are very appreciative of Dr Young and others efforts to benefit SCI patients. Having said that, to post only "hope" messages would be absurd. There are moderators that can lock or dispose of inapropriate posts. Suicide, venting, PCA problems, and so forth, are relevant topics to SCI patients.

                              Comment


                                #60
                                Originally posted by Cripply
                                It´s obvious that we all wish for a cure, and are very appreciative of Dr Young and others efforts to benefit SCI patients. Having said that, to post only "hope" messages would be absurd. There are moderators that can lock or dispose of inapropriate posts. Suicide, venting, PCA problems, and so forth, are relevant topics to SCI patients.
                                Amen, Cripply!

                                Teena

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X