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    I have been taking antidepressants since I voiced my preference for death. I have zero faith in their ability to do anything, but the docs recommended them, so whatever. I spoke to a shrink because the docs recommended it, so whatever. I let them adjust my happy pill dosage whenever they want, not because I think they will work, but because I literally don't give a shit about taking a couple extra pills every day.

    Originally posted by Tim C. View Post
    There's little point to living like this lest we're doing it for other's sake.
    Yup. Once my elderly mother dies, I'll feel free to do whatever I want.

    Comment


      Originally posted by perfectpurple View Post
      As an Apparelyzed refugee - and a formerly suicidal one at that - I'll give my opinion on this. I have a high cervical injury (C4- no vent though, thank God), about more than a year after the injury occurred I was probably the MOST suicidal I had ever been. I told a psychiatrist that I was determined to be euthanized in Europe (Belgium etc. - one of those places with a suicide clinic) and of course I was pumped full of SSRI's afterwards and declared "mentally ill". The psychiatric community doesn't really understand our grief. Suicidal thoughts are unfortunately common among high quads, though that doesn't make it "normal" it doesn't make it indicative of mental disease either.

      I at this point in my life have decided that I want to live, but I can understand those who may not want to continue.
      Good 2nd post, you can stay in CC now.

      Comment


        http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/health/m...lamb-1.4067629
        Woman and BCCLA taking gov to court over assisted dying law
        "on June 27 last year, just 10 days after Bill C-14 passed and made medically assisted death legal, Lamb and the B.C. Civil Liberties Association (BCCLA) filed a lawsuit against the government of Canada to do just that, saying that the "reasonably foreseeable death" requirement is in violation of Canadians' charter rights.The federal government filed a response defending itself against Lamb'slawsuit last July, but a date for the case to be heard in the Supreme Court of British Columbia has not yet been set."

        Comment


          Originally posted by perfectpurple View Post
          James we have a lot in common, and I am very skeptical about psychiatry as well for informed and experienced reason. I went through the whole psychiatry process after SCI (as an adult) and even before it (as a teen) and it did absolutely nothing for me. A matter of fact my self esteem suffered even more because the results of my psychological assessment deemed me as a being a negative person with personality problems. And it was somehow implied that my attitude and not my disability was hindering me more - which was very hurtful.

          The only thing that I an recommend to you is to pursue higher education in order to get yourself in a position of power as opposed to a position of control (living off of benefits etc.). There are other high quads who have gotten themselves out of poverty doing this and now have careers with a much higher standard of living.
          On a different forum, I recently made the following comment, and I'll repeat it here.
          "P.S. Yes, psychiatrists are dangerous. In my opinion, their usefulness is outweighed by their potential for misuse of power."
          Female, T9 incomplete

          Comment


            Originally posted by Vintage View Post
            On a different forum, I recently made the following comment, and I'll repeat it here.
            "P.S. Yes, psychiatrists are dangerous. In my opinion, their usefulness is outweighed by their potential for misuse of power."
            Explain?

            Comment


              I've been thinking about suicide a lot this past year or two. I'm not depressed. I love life. I enjoy things every day. There is still so much that I want to do. But I also don't want to live paralyzed. I go through too much pain physically, and I feel like I'll never be able to live the able-bodied life that I dream about everyday. I feel like the lady of shallot who is cursed to look out the window everyday at everyone enjoying life around her, but never allowed to go enjoy it herself. That, plus I have been through so many bouts of being dysreflixic non-stop for 4 days at a time that I feel traumatized. I would rather die than go through it again. I'll probably give myself a few more years, but if I had the choice to end my life by pressing a button or something, then I would rather die today than to live another 40 years paralyzed.
              I was injured 2 weeks after my 16th birthday on June 14th, 2004. My level of injury is C5 complete, but I can move my wrist.

              My screen name comes from the movie The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

              Comment


                I've not felt this depressed in a long time. I'm a T-4 para with severe rheumatoid arthritis, my hands are in constant pain, the meds aren't working any longer and I waiting for approval to get on a different med that might help. Add to that the constant worry about money. I retired from my job as a counselor because of the rheumatoid, my partner works a shit job part time, we're barely making it. My family wants nothing to do with us because we're sinners in their eyes, my friends don't have accessible homes nor the inclination to make their homes accessible, we literally have no money for Taco Bell much less going out with friends. I'm staying alive because I haven't found a quick way out (no guns please) and my dog would be very upset without me, i guess that's something.

                Comment


                  I hear you. LIving in pain is not fun and it beats the shit out of you 24-7. Look forward to the small things like a cup of coffee. If I lay down I'm not in that much pain. But as soon as I move two feet in the morning I catch on fire and stay on fire, It takes a couple of hours of laying still before it becomes tolerable again. Needless to say I have been laying down a lot. This shit makes you week and sick all the time. God hates a coward.

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by river61 View Post
                    I've not felt this depressed in a long time. I'm a T-4 para with severe rheumatoid arthritis, my hands are in constant pain, the meds aren't working any longer and I waiting for approval to get on a different med that might help. Add to that the constant worry about money. I retired from my job as a counselor because of the rheumatoid, my partner works a shit job part time, we're barely making it. My family wants nothing to do with us because we're sinners in their eyes, my friends don't have accessible homes nor the inclination to make their homes accessible, we literally have no money for Taco Bell much less going out with friends. I'm staying alive because I haven't found a quick way out (no guns please) and my dog would be very upset without me, i guess that's something.
                    You're a sinner, huh?
                    For being a para, not quad/
                    who is anyone to judge an sci.

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by river61 View Post
                      I've not felt this depressed in a long time. I'm a T-4 para with severe rheumatoid arthritis, my hands are in constant pain, the meds aren't working any longer and I waiting for approval to get on a different med that might help. Add to that the constant worry about money. I retired from my job as a counselor because of the rheumatoid, my partner works a shit job part time, we're barely making it. My family wants nothing to do with us because we're sinners in their eyes, my friends don't have accessible homes nor the inclination to make their homes accessible, we literally have no money for Taco Bell much less going out with friends. I'm staying alive because I haven't found a quick way out (no guns please) and my dog would be very upset without me, i guess that's something.
                      Would heated pool therapy help?
                      Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                      T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

                      Comment


                        Originally posted by Tim C. View Post
                        You're a sinner, huh?
                        For being a para, not quad/
                        who is anyone to judge an sci.
                        Suspect this person is considered a "sinner" by their family because they are gay, not due to their SCI.

                        (KLD)
                        The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

                        Comment


                          Originally posted by river61 View Post
                          I've not felt this depressed in a long time. I'm a T-4 para with severe rheumatoid arthritis, my hands are in constant pain, the meds aren't working any longer and I waiting for approval to get on a different med that might help. Add to that the constant worry about money. I retired from my job as a counselor because of the rheumatoid, my partner works a shit job part time, we're barely making it. My family wants nothing to do with us because we're sinners in their eyes, my friends don't have accessible homes nor the inclination to make their homes accessible, we literally have no money for Taco Bell much less going out with friends. I'm staying alive because I haven't found a quick way out (no guns please) and my dog would be very upset without me, i guess that's something.
                          Are you on a pension from your employer? SSDI or SS only income? Are you in Section 8 housing? On food stamps? Medicaid? Medicare? Not clear what about rheumatoid arthritis would interfere with your ability to continue work as a counselor, perhaps with a different employer, but note on your profile that you retired in 2000, so what has changed recently?

                          (KLD)
                          The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

                          Comment


                            Originally posted by SCI-Nurse View Post
                            Suspect this person is considered a "sinner" by their family because they are gay, not due to their SCI.

                            (KLD)
                            This day and age, seriously ?
                            Literally every female couple I've encountered have relationships so stable, so committed that I actually envy them. I truly admire them, for sure they put most heteros to shame.
                            Gay men I think as well, though gay men tend, in my own observation, to not assimmulate with the hetero community as much, and therefore maybe there's more tension as the result(?)
                            I also guess I'm baffled about the whole guy/guy thing, not being the fairer sex and all, but ultimately it's to each his/her own, not for me to call out . Anyway > off topic here.

                            Comment


                              The topic here is SUICIDE;
                              I know it can't be discussed here on these forums.
                              It's not exactly a proper category on a "LIFE" category. Yet, who severely sci hasn't thought about it in some fashion?
                              It sure doesn't take a Poll to ask who, if posed the question pre-sci, if faced with prospect of having to live life as a Complete C4-5 or worse (just random level) v. not living thru the trauma (I know there sadly are many horrible ways of becoming paralyzed)
                              they would have said they'd rather not live?
                              Who hasn't heard from the AB that you are so "strong' "brave" "determined" to be sci and be surviving so long?
                              Who hasn't heard that it's all part of God's plan?
                              OR< How you must be a special person to survive?
                              OR< God chose this for you because he knew you had the inner strength.
                              OR< God has his reasons for your surviving, it just hadn't been revealed yet?
                              OR< Your family needs you.
                              OR < You really can't feel this?
                              OR< (Finally) Didn't that superman actor have this?
                              At least you're not as bad as him.
                              Yeah, haven't heard about him lately, is he still alive?
                              Oh, my god, stop alreadfy....

                              Comment


                                AFAIK suicide can be discussed here, what can't is a how to do it in detail. Sad really as I know from posts on SCI facebook groups that many go through it and want to know the options but few of the peer network support services touch on it.

                                I do find it frustrating when lower level paras enter a debate on it, living with a high level break is totally different.

                                And please leave god out of it, whichever fairy tale version you decide is the "true" one.

                                Comment

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