No announcement yet.

Well I'm choked...

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Well I'm choked...

    I wasn't gonna whine and look for pity or nothing, but geez mom died in July from alzheimers and my brother died last week from cancer at 54. With mom it was kinda expected she had dementia for alot of years, and was actually a blessing. Yet still a sad sad time. Now my, he thought he had the flu or something, he had stomach pain, was swollen, couldn't keep food down. Finally went to the doc, with-in a 3 wk period he was diagnosed as being full of cancer and died.

    It was freakin brutal, I still can't believe it, it all happened so fast. Having to plan 2 family funerals in 4mths is not right, it's just not. I guess, I have to be thankful he wasn't in that wicked pain for too long. The docs could not believe how aggressive it was either.

    He was my big brother, and we were good buddies, he looked out for me when I moved out at 15 Iwas a punk-ass party animal.
    He' d bring me food & stuff and make sure I ate and that I was OK.

    He was a great guy, and he died way to young. Sometimes I so don't get it...My dad died of cirrohis at 48, the next year my hubby was murdered
    at 20yrs old, an ex of mine did a major whack and did himself in 2yrs ago, then mom then my bro. Oh yeah, my accidents in there too. What a friggin
    jinxed family man.

    What I so don't get, is how there are diddlers, rapists & murderers out there healthy and happy as ever who grow to a ripe old age to continue to rape and torture children. Some families are just rotten through and through and squat happens to them. It just plain & simple don't seem fair!

    Ok, I'm done, just had to rant a bit I guess, I'm mad he's gone, and I'm so not looking forward to Christmas, we have it here, this Xmas, no mom, no bro, this is really gonna suck.

    Ok..Ok..I'm done..don't ever recall feeling sorry for myself till now actually, don't worry I'll snap out of it, but right now I'm gonna just feel bummed and well I'm allowed.....right... Thanks for letting me vent guys....

    PS: Had to come back and say that I just realized why I posted this..cause I'm trying to be strong and ok for everyone else, I can't vent. I've always been everybodies rock, it sucks sometimes, but someones got to do it right? Grrrrrrrrr......
    Last edited by monkeygirl; 23 Nov 2005, 4:09 AM.

    So terribly sorry to hear about your loss, MG. I believe I can relate to your pain since I lost two bros in a few months. They were older than I and were the ones who just about took care of mom, pop and the other younger siblings. Loss of someone whom you know you can depend on through the worst times of your life is so very hard. Feels like you lost another part of your body too. One consolation I think that helped me was to know that they were no longer in pain or suffering with what they had. One had a stroke and ended in a chair, the other had cancer which had spread throughout his body and a tumor in his head. Life is hard and brings us so many bad things along with the good ones. Just remember to keep the good memories of you and him close to your heart and cherish them. Moms also can't ever be replaced but you know she is happier where she is too. They all are. No more tears, no more pain, and no more suffering. Peace at last.

    If you wish to e me please do so. I am here for you. We travel the same road and can relate to each other. Or if you want, PM me so I can send you my e mail. I will keep you and yours in my prayers and thoughts. Hang on in there, this will become easier with time.


    Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. ~Victor Hugo~

    A warrior is not one who always wins,
    but one who keeps on fighting to the end ~ Unknown ~


      I'm so sorry about your loss. Please accept my sincere condolences and i pray that God helps you through this.


        I wish I could say something that would make you feel better. Sorry MG [hugs]
        Sometimes the lights all shinin on me; Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip its been: The Grateful Dead


          MG, my older brother died of colon cancer at age 54 just two years ago. I know how you feel. Wise.


            Mg: I know any word said here will help you to heal your wounds and stop your pain,though feel glad because as Raven said, your mom and your brother are not suffering anymore,they are in a better place,I am suure they are always watching you and trying to protect you any time you need them

            If you need talking please feel free for email me,I'll pray for you and for your mom and brother.
            Wheels for Independence


              Sorry MG .. your brother will still look out for ya ..
              Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

              T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12


                (((((((((((((((Monkey Girl))))))))))))))))))))

                And the truth shall set you free.


                  My thought's are with you MG, you've had a rough ride the past few months.

                  Very Sorry!!!!!!!!


                    So sorry to hear of this MG, I wish you well. Mary


                      Oh MG, I am so so sorry for it all. I don't get it either. Bad stuff shouldn't happen to good people. It's NOT fair! Your'e such an awesome girl. If you got what you deserved not a damn bad thing would ever happen in your life. You certainly have brightened my day on many occassions here. I understand what you mean about having to be the rock. But, you don't have to be it here. You can be whatever you need to be here. We will be YOUR rocks.

                      Take care MG!
                      "I just want you to know, it was the best time ever." J.F.F.


                        MG - you're one of the special ones. Hang in there, I'm very sorry for your loss.

                        Please vent any time you need to.



                          My heart goes out to you. I wish you peace over the coming Holidays.

                          "Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence." Lin Yutang


                            Originally posted by monkeygirl
                            It just plain & simple don't seem fair!
                            It's not fair.


                              Thats terrible,im sorry to hear that MG..