Am hurting tonight

[Raven]

I can't exactly tell you what is hurting most this night. Physical pain I am feeling but can't find the words to describe it. Emotional pain, well, it is there too. Maybe since I have been listening to some old sad music from my past. Am not sure, tho. Time for the anniversary is coming up. Maybe that may be it. I do recall that most of the time around this time, I start feeling like this. Sure wish this(sci stuff) and other stuff would all go away forever. [img]/forum/images/smilies/frown.gif[/img]

Thought I would post these words I wrote previously as a poem. Maybe it will help me feel better. Need to vent.

------

Rise above the pain

Close your eyes
Squeeze them tight
Take a deep breath
It is coming back again

Once again
It stalks your life
Many times in your day
You have to bear the pain

Pain is a part of life
Different kinds of pain
Pain rips you apart
Almost drives you insane

You must hold on tight
Cannot let it win
It will seem to overwhelm
Every corner of your life

Pain you cannot see
Yet it is there somehow
Deep within your heart
Hurting every part of your body

Pain, please go away
God, help me to fight
Every pain felt in my heart
Every part of my weakening body

I hold on to His hand
He picks me up in his arms
He soothes the pain away
Wiping my tears away

Slowly the pain
Will gradually fade
As God strengthens me
To rise above the pain

© 2001-2005 Raven Lenore

[Karen'sMom]

Raven, I'm so sorry to hear that you are in so much pain. Your poem was lovely. I hope you found all your missing poetry that disappeared on your computer.

Please know that I am thinking about you at this sad time, and wishing you brighter, happier days.

Darlene

[teena]

Raven,

I love you and I am praying for you.

God cares, and so do I.

Teena

[1 Fine Spine RN]

Raven,

{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

.....Love you, M

[FREEJ]

Hi Raven, I wish your pain to go away. It bothers me to know when one is in physical, mental or emotional pain; especialy when it is someone with a heart like yours.
Know that ppl are thinking of you. I'll pray that God strengthen you in handling your trials. Try to *smile*.

Em if you wish,,,,Freej [img]/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[FREEJ]

I forgot: Once again,,,, your poem was great. As I'm approaching 25 yrs post, ''More than one time I have FELT the words of your poem.
''Have faith that He will strenthen you 'n guide you through.''

[cass]

raven,
i'm pulling for you. hang in there. we need you.

this is a great sinead o'connor song:

This is to mother you
To comfort you and get you through
Through when your nights are lonely
Through when your dreams are only blue
This is to mother you
This is to be with you
To hold you and to kiss you too
For when you need me I will do
What your own mother didn't do
Which is to mother you
All the pain that you have known
All the violence in your soul
All the 'wrong' things you have done
I will take from you when I come
All mistakes made in distress
All your unhappiness
I will take away with my kiss, yes
I will give you tenderness
For child I am so glad I've found you
Although my arms have always been around you
Sweet bird although you did not see me
I saw you
And I'm here to mother you
To comfort you and get you through
Through when your nights are lonely
Through when your dreams are only blue
This is to mother you

[Obieone]

I too wish I could take away everyones pain over this sci stuff Raven ..... I love the words to Cass's song ... feel them and think of us all being here for you and for each other ... {{{{{HUG}}}}} ..... try to stay strong! Keep writing ....

Obieone [img]/forum/images/smilies/cool.gif[/img]

[Raven]

Thank you Darlene, Teena, Mary, FreeJ, Obie and Cass for your words of cheer. I appreciate your well wishes and good thoughts.

Cass, those words were beautiful.

I am feeling a bit better today. A bit down but still hanging in there. Have noticed that around this time of the year I do start feeling down in spite of the fact that this isn't new. I guess the memories of that night will live with me for as long as I live. But I am still happy to be alive in spite of it all. I think of Isis and she makes up so much for what I miss in my life. God, I believe, knew exactly what I needed to help me on those dark times of life. I will always be thankful for her being in it.

There is some also some pain, physical pain that many of us have to deal with but sometimes I turn into a wimp and complain unlike many others that deal with it better than I. Also, have been having some personal issues that have been bothering me and have been unable to figure how to deal with them. That fact doesn't help either. But I am certain things will most likely work out somehow. They always do somehow.

Again, thanks all for your kind words.

Raven