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Hey Jealousy

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    Hey Jealousy

    I try to keep tuned into my feelings as much as possible to make sure they don't run away with me. Today after talking to a good friend of mine, I realized that I was feeling a twinge of jealousy. I'm not really a jealous person, but to hear all about her new boyfriend and all the fun she had at the bar last weekend, just made me miss my old life. Anyone else ever feel like that??

    I am 15 months post injury and latley we have been practicing transfers with out the slide board. I feel like this is something I should have learned in rehab, but didn't. So I am teaching myself and it is MUCH harder than I expected, so if you have any tips of this, I would love to hear them [img]/forum/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

    On the plus side I am peeing with no cath almost everytime these days, EXCITING...and something you would only read baout on this site [img]/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] For a T7 'complete' that's pretty empressive

    Anyway, thanks for "hearing" me...finding this site probably saved my life...perspective is a beautiful thing...

    "if it takes my whole life* I won't break*I wont bend*it'll all be worth it*worth it in the end"
    "if it takes my whole life ~ I won't break ~ I wont bend ~ it'll all be worth it ~ worth it in the end"

    On the transfers....don't be afraid to throw your head out there as far as you can. Leaning forward as far as you can throws your butt up in the air and makes it so much easier to transfer. It took me a while to get used to it but it becomes second nature after a while.

    On the jealousy....besides your SCI, what's different about your life now than it was before? Why should anything be different now? If you used to go to bars, go to bars. If you used to travel, get out there and travel. With a little creativity and some help from good friends, you should still be able to do whatever you want.

    "...I have learned two great lessons - that there will always be heartache and struggle, and that people of strong will can make a difference. One is a sad lesson; the other is inspiring. I choose to be inspired" ~John Edwards, Four Trials
    "Your love is just the antidote when nothing else will cure me" ~Sarah McLachlan


      I know the jealousy. It makes me feel like a crappy person. 1 yr. post for me was around of my best friends decided she was seizing the chance to go diving in the Galapagos, a trip I always dreamed of. I was so happy she went, but that ugly part of me was just a jealous bitch.[img]/forum/images/smilies/frown.gif[/img]

      C5/6 incomplete, injured Aug. 2000
      Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?


        I don't want to be misunderstood as comparing any aspect of my life with what you go through with SCI -- I watched my husband struggle with those transfers and miss doing many things he had done pre-SCI. And I hurt for him so badly. But that was rare in his case. He was able to build a rather sophisticated woodworking shop and do many things that he enjoyed pre-SCI -- just not as easily!

        What I really set out to say is that for what it's worth (not much I'm sure), sometimes we all feel jealousy. I'm AB and I still have those twinges when people get to do things I can't. I try to be happy when friends take magic trips or go to places I haven't been or buy something that is ultra-cool. It's an ugly part of human nature that many eliminated from their lives but I'm still working on it! I'm old but I'm still a work in progress. So, don't beat yourself up too badly -- we all have the capacity for jealousy or envy if we aren't careful! All that is different is WHAT we are jealous of.


          I understand. I get jealous a lot too. Almost everyday. Especially when I see people not appreciate what they have. Last night my fiance said he trade places with me. I was like 'oh, really...that's sweet'. Then he says its cause he just sits on his butt all day anyhow. True, but WTF?! After 2 years does his really think SCI is just sitting on your butt? I'd like to kick him in his butt.

          "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow"
          ~ Anon
          Emily, C-8 sensory incomplete mom to a 8 year old and a preschooler. TEN! years post.


            I am not jealouse, I think. I am angry on the lack of accessibility. I want to go to the pub, it is too many steps to go inside. I want to go to visit a friend, it is not a lift there. I want to go shopping, it is the steps again. I can't take the bus or the tram together with my friends, I have to take a taxi. I can't go to the parent's meeting in the school because of the steps.

            Well, I am jealouse too, sometimes. I want to go skiing, skating, on cheap holidays with my friends and so on.

            TH 12 incomplete 12-12-69.
            TH 12, 43 years post


              I used to get those jealous cringes too. My friends would talk about doing this or that and the painful reminder of what my life was like pre SCI compared to the present would hurt so bad sometimes. It was not until just recently that I got out of he "I can't do that" boo-hoo funk. It is different for each individual, each level of function/independence, and each circumstance. But, for the most part it is a matter of figuring out a new way of doing things. If you live in an accessible area and have what it takes to get around(be it help from friends, the right adaptive equipment, etc) you can do anything you wish within human reason. (I'd rule out anything that takes divine powers...i.e. passing through solid objects, sprouting wings, reading minds, etc [img]/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]) I am 18 mos post injury. I am just now feeling that my life is getting as close to what it once was as it will ever be. I am finally strong enough physically and mentally to do what I please. It has taken a whole lotta 'trial and error's to figure things out. And I am sure I will learn a million more lessons in life through this process as life goes on. Stay strong. Don't let the chair get in your way.

              " The best way to predict the future is to invent it."
              - Alan Kay

              "The best way to predict the future is to invent it."
              - Alan Kay


                I am right there with you on the jealousy thing. I hear stories from my brother and friends about the bar fun. I can't go most of the time because I can't stand to be in the chair for more than an hour or two. If I do go I can't drink more than a beer or two. It makes me sick mixed with my meds. I miss BEER the wonderful BEER. I have also wanted to get really drunk for the past month or so.

                I also hear stories about my old job and Mt. biking trips. I would be a better assistant coach for my daughters soccer team than the one they have. It's all over the place. Earlier this summer I thought that if I were king, I would make it illegal to do all the things that I used to but can't now. There is a big green monster inside me. But it's not fair to hold my injury against every one else, so I quietly express it to my close friends. Come to find out they feel the same way when they see people getting to do things with their best friends. We just deal with it and try to adapt as well as possible. It will never be the same, but with time I hope that it will get easier.

                WOW! Congradulations on the peeing thing. It's a huge step. I too pee on my own, it is very freeing and makes me feel more confident. Not to mention the convenience and cost issue.

                c6/c7 incomplete