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growing up with SCI

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    #31
    Topspin, I agree.

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      #32
      I wanted to say that I think Lindsay's childhood is one in a million. I think that what Seneca and I experienced is much more common for SCI kids. I'm not looking for sympathy for myself, but I do want it to be known that growing up with SCI is often hell. Now I just gotta figure out what I can do to help those kids.

      Also, I wanted to say that one of the things that helped me get to where I am today is Prozac. I know Prozac isn't for everyone, but I wanted to put it out there that Prozac changed my life.

      One more thing. I remember when I was about 11 years old, my mom, sister, Grandma and me went to the mall. Back then, I had one of those big clunky heavy wheelchairs, which was very tiring for an 11 year old to push. I didn't get very far when I became tired and asked my mom to push me. She said no, and she told my Grandma to not push me either. I started crying because I was so tired, and no one would push me. My mom said we'd just sit and rest and go again when I was ready. It was very hard on all of us. Both my Grandma and I were crying. I think my sister was just mad because she wanted to go, but my mom was holding back the tears. I know someone must have told her that she needed to force me to be more independent. Today, I am fiercly independent. But, where's the line between encouraging a kid to be independent and forcing?

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        #33
        OMG, Shannon, this is getting too weird. My mom would do the same thing to me in the mall. She would tell me to push myself but I would get so fatigued so quickly that I would have to stop, then in front of everyone she would call me lazy. She didn't undestand the difference between lack of energy and lack of strength, I was strong enough to push myself but because I was underweight and undernourished, I just didn't have the energy. She would also blame me when people stared saying I was making them stare at me. She told me that I looked pathetic and I'd better keep a smile on my face at all times or else. I developed so much anxiety from those experiences that I came to anticipate a verbal assault after every outing.

        I had an older sister too who seemed to resent me and the accident. It was probably basic sibling rivalry but she was pretty cruel. She would push me to the edge of the stair way in front of our house and threaten to push me over. I hated it when my mother left us alone together. She thought that I was faking my disability. She also resented the fact that I didn't have to do the same chores that she had. She didn't understand how impossible it is for a C6/7 quad to wash dishes in a sink when I couldn't reach the faucet. DUH!

        I could go on but I don't want anything I relate to be misconstrued as a pity party, we all have our sob stories and I am grateful that I was never molested or physically abused. I think the difference between being encouraging and being forceful is compassion. Only someone who lacks the ability to empathize could relentlessly excoriate a person to the point of tears.

        I also think that Lindsays experience is the exception. As I said before, the statistics on children with disabilities paints a much darker reality. Being powerless is one thing, but being powerless, dependent, disabled, female and a child seems to be the perfect recipe for abuse.

        [This message was edited by seneca on Sep 07, 2002 at 05:08 PM.]

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          #34
          Seneca, my mom never called me lazy or told me I look pathetic. I'm thankful for that.

          I don't know about you, but I forgive my parents for most things. I know that my injury was probably harder on them than it was on me. I don't think they were as rotten as your mom was though.

          I think my older sister resented me as well. I can remember her threatening to push me down the stairs. Not often, but it did happen.

          Nothing like SCI to screw up a family, especially when it's a child with SCI. I think the best thing for these families is to educate them. Once again, it is my hope that this thread will help someone. I'm sure that Laura and Heather can benefit from what has been said here, and I hope others can as well.

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            #35
            WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG and right out of school
            I taught the Disabled at a state school where we went to parents homes and picked up the kids
            I wasn't able to stay very long sometimes i regret this I had quite a temper and very opinionated or high spirited my Daddy called me,right was right and i would go to extremes but , I and was going to save the world and make a difference in these kids lives
            well I took them shopping with my money one time sent one little girl home the mother sent her back with the skirt i bought her cut up and she cut her hair very ugly later this mother's son died in her home we did not find out until (Mary) came to school and started talking he wasn't disabled he died of pneumonia.
            Another example one little guy he had Not MS I can't remember but what I can remember one day he was sent home with cigaret burns on his chest I went psycho and One of the teachers told me These kids don't feel like you and me I guess I was stupid and could not accept this.
            then the kids started begging me to take them home and they would say I'll do your dishes for you and I'll watch Scott for you I'll sweep your floors for you (I'm crying witting my own story)
            then I started wanting to take them home and a lot of these parents were Foster but Mary's wasn't but I wanted to take them home not because of the chores but I loved them and as they were. My husband offered a resolution he would divorce me if I did not quit that job
            Well I quit, but I should had not because I DIVORCED HIM YEARS LATER!!

            BLESS YOU SWEET PARENTS!!! Bless you
            Some of the parents were very GREAT but FEW

            As I said someplace else I love my kids what ever they are and they have been something else and I love them that much more
            yeah I say I want to move to Montana and not leave a forwarding address often ( and Mean it in the moment )
            Debbi [img]/forum/images/smilies/wink.gif[/img]

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