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  • How well do you cope

    Someone sent me this question recently:

    On a scale of 1-7, with 1 being the worst, and 7 being the best, how well do you think you are coping, all things considered, with SCI and life in general.

    Do you consider yourself to be coping successfully? Why or why not?

    Just trying to get a general sense.
    "The only true currency in this bankrupt world...is what you share with someone else when you're uncool." - Almost Famous

  • #2
    I give myself a 5 out of 7.

    Some days are better than others but on the whole my life is very good and I am grateful that my injury was not higher (I'm a T4), that I am not living in poverty & that my wife didn't leave me. (so far at least)

    The stuff that gets me down is:

    a. physical pain & misery (this is pretty much constant)
    b. frustration. dropping things & being clumsy, struggling with everything
    c. lots of anger towards what I perceive is inhumane apathy and "go slow" mantra of researchers. This is actually the most infuriating thing in my life right now... by far.
    d. legal/insurance/bullshit issues. These will be resolved sooner or later.
    e. confidence, self esteem and body image issues.

    all in all though, I think I'm doing better that I could have possibly imagined the day after my SCI. Looking forward to getting out of this chair though... I hope it's within 2-3 years and I think it will be. It's definitely my biggest motivator for coping day to day.
    "Oh yeah life goes on
    Long after the thrill of livin is gone"

    John Cougar Mellencamp

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    • #3
      Starlight, you've posed this question about five different ways in various formats / topics.

      Is there something you're trying to get off your chest as the cliche goes or are you looking for a specific answer?

      Onward and Upward!

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      • #4
        I give myself a 7. To be quite honest, after discovering this board, I give myself a 20.

        Comment


        • #5
          I would give myself between a 4 and a 6. I have high expectations to get out of this thing in the near future but continue to live well day to day. I don't enjoy it though, and would never give myself a 20...This was based on how I see myself, not in relation to others.

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          • #6
            i dont mind answering these threads, starlight,,,it gives me cause to evalute myself...ok,,,i am 20 years post so i must be coping at a 7 level overall...the neverending struggle to make the rent and all when my ssdi is so low but cant afford to get a fulltime job gets frustrating...but it is a challenge...frustration levels rise due to the facts of being sci, of course, but like the other dude im t-5 so i am independent which is important to me...things could be better...i could have enuff $ to raise my living standard and have some of the kewl crip stuff...i could stand to have a g/f to listen to me bitch...get out of HUD housing and away from the 27 kids that live in my 8=plex...but i'm fed,,,have a roof...so life is kewl

            Comment


            • #7
              Starlight,

              I'm glad you posted this question, even if it might be the 5th or 100th time you've asked because not everyone might have had the opportunity to answer or read the answers.

              To answer your question..

              Personally, I'm about at 4 or 5. For being paralyzed for only 7 months now I feel I'm doing way better than I ever thought I would be. I still freak out once in awhile but count my blessings everyday. It's difficult to lose a part of you and not mourn or yearn for it.

              SCI effects the whole of me; life, love, money, etc. But life goes on, it's what you choose to make of it-right?

              Have a super day

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              • #8
                I didn't really explain myself...

                I give myself a 20 because my life is wonderful and I couldn't ask for more. As far as coping with SCI, what's there really to cope with? I've been at this for a long time and feel that I have adapted exceptionally well. I have absolutely NO time to sit and ponder my disability, how long I've been at it, and what I'm going to do when my "anniversary" comes around again. I'm telling you nicely but firmly, life is too dang short for that stuff. Between going to work, spending time with the love of my life, and enjoying time with my family, I see NO need in feeling sorry for myself, what I used to be, etc. I believe there comes a point in your life where you have to accept who you are and make the best of what you've got. Go ahead, flame away.

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                • #9
                  I survived my accident. SCI used to be 100% fatal once. Thank God thats not the case anymore. Everyday alive for me is pure profit. 7.
                  "So I have stayed as I am, without regret, seperated from the normal human condition." Guy Sajer

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                  • #10
                    I'd give myself a 3.5. Can't stand the fact that I can't get my body to do what I want it to do.

                    Deb
                    "Save the last dance for me!"

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                    • #11
                      Give it a 6.9 for SCI related issues and a 1.5 for the midlife crisis! '

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                      • #12
                        I'd give myself a 7 right now. Life really sucks sometimes, but that was true when I was AB too. Different problems, but overcoming problems is what life is all about. What I'm grateful for is that my pain level is usually low enough that I can go for hours at a time without thinking much about it. Earlier in my recovery (I'm almost 2 years post) when pain was constant and fairly intense, it affected everything to the point of being a constant intrusion. Back then, I would have given myself a 2 rating.
                        "Some complain that there are thorns among the roses, but I am delighted to find an occasional rose among the thorns."

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                        • #13
                          I'd say 2. If not for the blasted pains, maybe I could have been a 5 or better. I realize I don't now and never did have the personality to ever have been a "superquad," but those folks are exceptional, IMO.
                          Alan

                          Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

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                          • #14
                            LindayS:

                            I am certainly not going to flame you don't worry.

                            The fact that you were injured so young gives you a completely different perspective on things. Do you know what real sex is supposed to be like? Were you extremely athletic at the age of 6? Did you have almost EVERYTHING that brought you any level of joy taken away from you? I doubt it. Life like this is probably completely "normal" for you. It is NOT normal for me. Not even close.

                            "As far as coping with SCI, what's there really to cope with?"

                            ?WHAT?!? Let's see.... bowel, bladder, sex, no orgasm or ejaculation, being in a wheelchair & always sticking out, people trying to help you all the time, everything is 10x more difficult than before, constant pain, shitting & pissing yourself, not being abot to do ANY of the sports I used to (don't even start with wheelchair sports cause it ain't even a close approximation)....

                            You may not remember what normal is supposed to be but I assume you are surrounded by people who do not have SCI. Do you not think that your life is 10 times more difficult than everyone around you? How can this not bother you?
                            "Oh yeah life goes on
                            Long after the thrill of livin is gone"

                            John Cougar Mellencamp

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by mkowalski99:

                              The fact that you were injured so young gives you a completely different perspective on things. Do you know what real sex is supposed to be like? Were you extremely athletic at the age of 6? Did you have almost EVERYTHING that brought you any level of joy taken away from you? I doubt it. Life like this is probably completely "normal" for you. It is NOT normal for me. Not even close.
                              What an arrogant, snotty thing to say. I feel sorry for you.

                              From my perspective ... I was injured when I was 18. Yes, I know what "real sex" feels like. Yes, I ws extremely athletic when I was injured. Yes, much of what gave me joy was seized from me in a split second. And after 13 years of this shit, I can say I "deal" with things pretty well. Some days are better than others. But, unlike you, I'm not sitting on my ass just waiting for a cure. And what if it doesn't come? You will have robbed yourself, and others, of the life you COULD HAVE HAD if not for your attitude and self-pity.

                              We all see things from a different perspective. Sadly, you see things from the perspective of someone who, quite clearly, will not be happy unless he walks again and is able to continue where he left off in life. What if you had a heart attack at a young age and were told to stop all strenuous activity. No cure for that. Would you give up? Commit suicide? Wait for a heart transplant? Or would you adjust, though painful, and move on with what you COULD do in life?

                              Who do you see in the mirror each day? Do you see someone who isn't as good as he used to be? Do you see someone who is less of a man because of this disability? I'd be willing to bet that your answer is yes. And if that is the case, you are cheating yourself and insulting every person who may have to spend the rest of his or her life in a wheelchair for whatever reason.

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