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I think the fight is going out of the dog…

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    I think the fight is going out of the dog…

    Hi All
    Been missing for a while T-8 36 years post. Like most of us I’ve had my share of ups and downs with SCI life. Too many UTI’s to count,
    Wound care, cellulitis infections etc. I have always fought hard to get past whatever the challenge was. However with a recent UTI and a tough recovery from a “minor procedure “ (stents to increase blood flow to legs ) I just felt tired of fighting, fighting, fighting, just to live.
    Now I am dealing with probably mild depression.. Anyway I know there are no easy answers but just needed to tell somebody.

    #2
    Sorry to hear you are going through rough times, Pete.
    At 43 years T2/3 I can relate some. I find one of the biggest frustrations is that I sometimes have 2-4 physical issues going on at once and it can be hard to identify which issue is draining my physical and emotional energy.

    I miss the days when problems arose one at a time and I could focus energy and effort on fixing them.

    In regard to UTIs, I don't know how you manage your bladder but if you do intermittent catheterization you might want to consider installation/irrigation with gentamicin. It is a bit of work but I think many have found it a game-changer. There are several threads on it in search and it might be worth a try if it is an option for you.

    Good luck.

    Comment


      #3
      Hang in there Pete, stay strong, you got this!

      Comment


        #4
        Your post finds me in a similar funk. I'm sick and tired of this. Today is my 26th anniversary.
        Much of it has been pretty good, but time seems to be catching up to me at 74. One thing after the other, always an ongoing medical issue, then COVID.

        But, what are the options?

        I'll carry on. As a recovering person, I know that I can't give in to the sadness and pain of this life or I will die.
        I'll dwell in sadness and grief for a (needed?) while and then pick up the weight of my situation, and go find me some joy.
        Surely there's more to experience
        69yo male T12 complete since 1995
        NW NJ

        Comment


          #5
          Thanks guys . On UTI I have been doing gent instillation for about 6 years. It was a game changer for me but eventually I have run into a couple of gent resistant bugs. And yes it’s now multiple issues at once but ya what’s our choice so a couple days of sadness then try get back on the horse

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            #6
            What I want to know is when do the doctors lift up their hands and say they can't fix you? Sometimes you have so many issues (old person or longevity) that your body is so worn down that the immune system stops working. Pain pills and antibiotics become a problem in that they stop working due to years of using various types. Any thoughts?



            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by pfcs49 View Post
              Your post finds me in a similar funk. I'm sick and tired of this. Today is my 26th anniversary.
              Much of it has been pretty good, but time seems to be catching up to me at 74. One thing after the other, always an ongoing medical issue, then COVID.

              But, what are the options?

              I'll carry on. As a recovering person, I know that I can't give in to the sadness and pain of this life or I will die.
              I'll dwell in sadness and grief for a (needed?) while and then pick up the weight of my situation, and go find me some joy.
              Surely there's more to experience
              don/t you dare quit who would i pick at

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                #8
                I'm just in time for this we-are-all-bummed-out thread. I'm 71 and since 2012 I've had a series of problems I cannot fully recover from. It's very hard to make peace with this stage of life.

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                  #9
                  Seems many of us are fighting this battle. My 29th anniversary was in June. Major health issues started around 10 years ago. I had hoped to make it a lot longer before things started seriously going south. Im only 45. But much of the last decade has been hard to enjoy, especially these last two. Worse health and COVID has restricted me more than ever. It’s all very draining. An overwhelmed and deteriorating health system here, and Drs without answers certainly don’t help. “Aging with a spinal injury”.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    What about we think on about hooking up on the net via skype or zoom or such and shoot the breeze on occasion. Impart some positive stuff, offload some crap we can kick about? I would be in; I'm even prepared to wake up in the early a.m to hook up with you lot who have a strange timezone.
                    Hey Pete, if you self cath and have reasonable hand function, I may have a cathing routine that may reduce or eliminate those bastard UTI episodes. I use the Coloplast straight tip males in the green sleeves and haven't had an issue since I started practicing what I do.
                    Be well, as well as you can.

                    Comment


                    • pete4sake
                      pete4sake commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Yes I self cath use same catheter as you,sterile gloves wash before and after never touch the catheter …
                      My take on IC is some of us are just more susceptible than others to UTI.s I do think without gent instillations
                      I might not be here now… I like your idea of zoom chat as I don’t really know many other SCI people
                      Lately I have just been so tired all the time. It’s not all bad either

                    #11
                    postive happy thoughts i know some do not want to hear this but i will anyway everybody has a down day but if it continue try to smile laugh . ask god to get statan out of way its statan stealing ur life. let the sun shine on you .. get outside smell the fresh cut grass listen to the birds sing . i like the idea of a hang google chat room if you want you can talk


                    but no politics in that room

                    Comment


                    • pete4sake
                      pete4sake commented
                      Editing a comment
                      I definitely agree no politics! I do try stay positive but most of the time just lately “running on empty”

                    #12
                    Sorry this is a rough time for you Pete. It's understandable that everything takes a toll.... Hope you can let your doc know how you feel. Hang in there, and try to do something small for yourself regularly that you enjoy so you have things to look forward to. For my Dad, it's chocolate donuts(!).

                    My Dad can relate to your current issues (78 yo para), as he has struggled a lot with UTIs, skin issues, pain etc.. and as soon as one thing seems to get under control another pops up. He also was doing Gent Instillations and starting getting Gent resistant UTIs a couple of years ago. So he started doing Microcyn instillations instead, and things have been good. He did them with CIC initially, but now has been using a foley for one year and does one Microcyn instillation a day.

                    I wish my Dad could join you guys in a Zoom etc.. chat. He doesn't have anyone who can relate to what he goes through day to day. And it's so much...

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                      #13
                      78 is so impressive! I concur on the doughnuts 😀

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                        #14
                        Originally posted by Califanna View Post
                        What I want to know is when do the doctors lift up their hands and say they can't fix you? Sometimes you have so many issues (old person or longevity) that your body is so worn down that the immune system stops working. Pain pills and antibiotics become a problem in that they stop working due to years of using various types. Any thoughts?
                        Sometimes it isn't about fixing, it's more about maintaining what we have - like that old motorcycle or such that is worn out but still has kick in it.
                        Doctors don't know all. Most do know a lot though. What they don't have is what we have; that is a caring, sharing community with willingness to give and share what we can and in doing so, maybe make this life a little easier or even to lift it.
                        Be well Califanna et al.

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                          #15
                          Originally posted by slow_runner View Post
                          Sometimes it isn't about fixing, it's more about maintaining what we have - like that old motorcycle or such that is worn out but still has kick in it.
                          Rather than "maintaining what we have" , I feel better th inking about it as "slowing the decline."

                          Comment


                          • slow_runner
                            slow_runner commented
                            Editing a comment
                            Yes, that is more apt Tetra. Continuously applying the brakes is fatiguing.
                            Those rare days when there is no discomfort, pain are so wonderful. Strange that the realisation hits after..
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