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I want to share my story

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    I want to share my story

    Hello everyone, I just want to share my story with people who can understand what I'm going through. I wanted to post this in the apparalyzed forum, but that's gone so I found this forum. I'm 23 years old, and my accident happened 17 of May 2015

    I moved from my mother to another city to study. I smoked marijuana a year prior to this and quickly found a dealer in the new city and got my fix from him. I only smoked marijuana, no other drugs not even alcohol. After one semester I dropped out and found a job instead and ended up smoking more and more and more. During this time I found faith in Islam and gradually stopped smoking. One night however I made a stronger join than usual and when I went to bed I fell into psychosis. I heard a booming voice call out to me saying "You have one more chance" repeatedly and "You have to understand" repeatedly. I looked in front of me and saw a enormous black snake crawling along the wall and a black smoky covering from the shelf where I kept the Qu'ran. I sat myself up and the snake disappeared and I heard a final voice saying that I were to fast for 40 days. I thought this was some kind of message from Allah so I complied. I stopped cold turkey and started to fast(eating when the sun went down). For 37 days of my psychosis so much mindbreaking things happened. I thought seagulls where angels and crows was devils. I talked in different made up languages and I thought I could control the weather and birds. On day 37 I said to myself that my fast was over and started to eat during the day. 2 days after I got up and made my mind up going to Mecca to preform pilgrimage. I went out taking nothing with except my keys. I started to run and threw my keys in the water when I went over a bridge. I got to a residential area and saw a seagull standing on road. I thought it was my guide and when it flew onto a roof I followed it up there. Standing on the roof I wondered what my purpose was. I went to the edge and looked down. I saw a flock of seagulls flying in a circle over the parking lot below the building. I went back and stood there for a second before I started to run towards the edge and jumped. 20 meters straight down to asphalt. Everything was black. I experienced nothingness. Suddenly I was awake and the first thing I saw was ambulance personell asking my name. I said my name and kept repeating "What have I done?!" I felt no pain and from then on everything is hazy. I saw people in white scrubs but I heard nothing. I thought I was on my way to Hell. I was flown by helicopter to the best hospital in the country. I was put in an artificial coma for 3 days and when I got woken up they told me what happened. I pulverized my ankles and heels, I broke my left shin, I broke my right arm and elbow and finally I compressed my back from L1 to L3 damaging my spinal chord. My injuries were so bad that they had to transplant a chunk of my skin to my foot. I've been through 25 surgeries and been given 45 bags of blood.

    After 8 months of rehabilitation I started to walk again. Fast forward 2 years I live with my mom and I just feel so lost. All my friends left me except one, but he lives far away so I rarely see him. I feel lonely, have a lot of anxiety and everything is just so messed up. My body feels like an old mans. I dont know what to write, I just wanted to share my story.

    Thank you for reading.

    Welcome to CareCure and thank you for sharing your story. I am moving this to the Life Forum as it looks like it belongs there more, although the Members Only forum would be a little more private if you prefer.

    We have many other members with similar injuries to yours. Are you still in Oslo? I know one of our members who lives there, and she is involved in some SCI community activities there. I will ask her to respond to your post too.

    The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.


      I answer in Norwegian since that is much easier for both of us.
      Jeg bor i Oslo, men er mye eldre enn deg s? samboer og jeg er nok ikke s? veldig interessante. Vi har begge v?rt g?ende med lave ryggmargsskader som endel andre. Men vi er ofte ute og reiser s? vi er lite hjemme.

      N? vet jeg ikke hvor du bor, men skj?nner at du har bodd i Oslo en periode. Er du medlem i Landsforeningen for ryggmargskadde LARS? De har avdelinger over hele landet s? muligheten for ? treffe andre er ganske stor. Det er m?ter og aktiviteter med jevne mellomrom.

      Dessuten finnes det en norsk facebookgruppe som ogs? heter LARS. Den kan v?re nyttig ? lese. Det finnes ogs? svenske sider.

      Hvis du vil vite noe mer s? send meg en PM. Jeg er ikke aktiv p? denne siden lenger, men vil f? beskjed hvis jeg har f?tt PM. Jeg er ogs? venner med endel av amerikanerne p? denne siden p? facebook samt KLD.

      UPS, ser at CC ikke lenger tar ???, men regner med at du klarer ? lese likevel.
      TH 12, 43 years post