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  • #16
    Originally posted by stephen212 View Post
    Wow! And by "Wow!" I mean WOW!! And by WOW!! I mean what a bunch of bunk!!

    You're more than OK with me, KLD! I know that you get it.
    +1


    I feel compelled to say how helpful, thoughtful and appropriate KLD's comments have consistently been over the years. While I've only been on this site for 9.5 years (so less than gjnl), I quickly found a respect for KLD's posts above and beyond even those of other SCI-Nurses (which is by no means disparaging to the other SCI-Nurses). But I'm quite sure KLD knows how valued she is around here.

    Saying someone "doesn't get it" and "can't understand" is a rather immature defense mechanism. That's what a thirteen year old says to their parents when they're not allowed to go out with friends on a school night. No one can fully "get it" or understand what you are going through, but that doesn't make their opinion less valuable and not having your specific disability doesn't disqualify someone from having an opinion on the subject. Otherwise no one should ever judge or have an opinion on anything. Even if we're both 31 year old T9 complete ASIA A with moderate spasticity and similar levels of pain, YOU can't know what I'm going through.

    Having worked with SCIers for years and years and years, I'm sure KLD has met and spoken with more people with SCI than I am likely to meet in my lifetime, thus making her one of the more qualified people to comment on this thread. Additionally, her post on this thread was the only productive and on topic one thus far.

    But I'm rambling.

    KLD, you know we love you.
    Last edited by funklab; 06-08-2017, 06:29 AM.

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    • #17
      But back to the subject, it appears that, assuming gjnl actually voted, even the most easily offended of us aren't offended by people using these phrases.

      My therapist, whom I have a lot of respect for, essentially formally apologized for saying "hit the ground running" a couple weeks ago and seems to have been bothered enough by his use of the phrase to think about it repeatedly after the fact. Obviously in such a job you have to be careful with your words, but putting myself on the other side of things, I don't think I would be worried about things like this in a similar but reversed situation.

      To borrow KLD's example, I very well may have said "see what I mean" or something similar to a blind person in the past, and if I have done so it's not a significant enough event that I remember it even happening.

      I certainly say I'm "running to the store" or even ask someone if they want to "go for a walk" with me in normal speech without thinking twice, though family and friends will occasionally express smart-assed surprise at my newfound "ability".

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      • #18
        Personally, I hate when people say "want to go for a roll", or something like that. Like KLD said, if they say "walk" then they're clearly not focusing on the chair, or the disability.
        Rollin' since '89. Complete C8

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        • #19
          I would say No, I am not offended (unless it is clearly malicious). For example, I feel like whenever I go into any office (dentist, doctor, veterinarian), the receptionist always makes the comment "Please go find a seat and we'll be with you as soon as we can." They say this a thousand times a month to people so I think it is just out of habit. Every now and then I'll just say "ok" and stare at them for an extra second and that's when they realize they said something stupid but I never press the issue because I can tell they understand they didn't think it through.

          You can tell when someone genuinely is showing you a respectful compassion. I went to a college homecoming in 2015 and met up with dozens of college buddies. One of them, who went from military college to looking like Sons of Anarchy (seriously had a 12 inch blade in a sheath on his side, leather vest with motorcycle club patch and long hair). He was, and still is, the only person to come up to me and before even shaking my hand got down on one knee to look at me eye level before speaking to me.

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          • #20
            Anyone that gets upset over "want to run up to the store?..." or any variant of that has serious scarring and is beyond removed from society. They should probably seek help with coping.
            Joe T.

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            • #21
              Some individuals need to seek marriage, so there will always be someone ready to fight with them.

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              • #22
                I tend to say "I'm off to the store". I would not take it kindly if hubby replied, "You're just off."

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                • #23
                  if things like that offended me, id spend a lot of time being offended. I got called a freeloader by my rumptser landlord. that offends me. iv paid my rent with my ssi check for nine years but he said I could go be disabled out of someone else's pocket. we've never not paid our rent. He got mad because we helped a neighbor who is disable, who couldn't pay their rent, and now we are all freeloaders in his silly mind.

                  causing hatred for disabled people is offensive, and that's what's going on out there today.

                  I like the way KLD put it. it's a sign you arn't defined by your disabilities.

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                  • #24
                    The way I see it, and have always said this. "If your offended, thats your problem not mine" People joke with me all the time. I will say "hey will you get me a beer" and there response "are your legs broke"? People are so damn ass chapped in this day in time. Hell my own grandmother the other day was fussing about my dads shorts with holes all in them. Then turns to me and says "I bet you only wear the ass out of your jeans now". Haha Laugh it up folks life is to damn short to bitch about dumb stuff!

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                    • #25
                      Id say you are WAY overly sensitive if ya get offeneded by that and ya need a valium or Xanax or something....loosen up

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                      • #26
                        No offence.

                        gjnl I hope you don't leave this forum. You are a valuable asset to this group with your years of experience you have to share with the fresh outs that seek help and information. We all come across sandpaper people. Don't let adversity stop you from posting here.

                        I was at the barber shop last July and one of my neighbors in Lorain down the street from me who is 94 years old said to me, "You're the cripple that lives down the street from me?" I replied, "Yes, I'm the cripple that lives down the street from you." I took no offense to that comment because that was his terminology in 1930's.

                        Actually when I'm asked to do a talk or speech I use able-bodied terminology towards my disability such as, "... I ran after an accessible career." Or, "I walked down a different path in life." Or, "I ran after my dreams, ambitions and goals in life."

                        Now this is scary!



                        Ti
                        Last edited by titanium4motion; 06-09-2017, 10:17 PM. Reason: gjnl note added
                        "We must overcome difficulties rather than being overcome by difficulties."

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by titanium4motion View Post
                          gjnl I hope you don't leave this forum. You are a valuable asset to this group with your years of experience you have to share with the fresh outs that seek help and information. We all come across sandpaper people. Don't let adversity stop you from posting here.
                          Ti
                          Thanks Ti.
                          Last edited by gjnl; 06-10-2017, 10:42 AM.

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                          • #28
                            I use the same speak as anyone else. I tell my boss Im going to run over to building X, or do a quick walk thru with operator X, etc....
                            In no way do I get offended by folks saying these phrases. And happy to see the poll is pointing out that a lot of people on here feel the same way.

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                            • #29
                              It's just common language usage, and if we spend our time being offended by somebody saying " let's walk over " somewhere, then we just have a big old "chip on our shoulder"...whatever that means.

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                              • #30
                                It's a whole lot better than "watch out, you'll run over someone in that thing!" I woulda gone postal by now. I would have bought the most powerful gun i could afford and found a good hiding spot and let loose.

                                My skin is not that thin...

                                I've noticed people if all colours (including white), all genders (including T & I) abilities (including paras and quads), and every socio economic subgroup can always find a way and reason to engage in ignorant bigotry... so when I'm having it thrown in my direction it's water off a ducks back. I will from time to time put people in their place tho.
                                Last edited by Mutley; 07-17-2017, 09:06 PM.
                                Everybody wants freedom.... They just don't want it for everybody else...

                                A college professor, a man I now consider my dad, once told me...
                                "The minute you let someone decide what you can and cannot do, your life is no longer yours." A truer word has never been spoken in my opinion.


                                Professor Bill Johnston
                                (1930- )

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