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  • Hey Buddy!

    Several times a month I experience all kinds of different people, saying "Hey buddy" to me in a somewhat condescending and charitable tone. Is it just me or do other SCI'd males experience the same thing?

    The context is:
    Hey buddy let me get that door for you
    Hey buddy how are you doing?
    Hey what happened to you buddy?
    I can check you out over here buddy
    Hey do you need some help with that buddy?

    I never respond verbally I just tend to look them in the eye after the unsolicited comment.

  • #2
    Unsolicited kindness?!? What's the world coming to!! Don't people know being kind to cripples is offensive?!? Folks should just realize us disabled people are so prickly and salty that they should just ignore us.
    "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it." - Edgar Allen Poe

    "If you only know your side of an issue, you know nothing." -John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Oddity View Post
      Unsolicited kindness?!? What's the world coming to!! Don't people know being kind to cripples is offensive?!? Folks should just realize us disabled people are so prickly and salty that they should just ignore us.
      I don't mind consideration at all. I truly appreciate kind gestures. Hey buddy often implies rank though.

      Perhaps responding in kind is the best way to handle this. Thanks buddy I really appreciate you getting that for me ...
      Last edited by Patton57; 10-09-2016, 01:51 PM.

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      • #4
        I use to say that to people all the time before I came over to sci land from the dark side. Still do. Am terrible remembering names. So to answer your question "Is it just me or do other SCI'd males experience the same thing?" Yes I think so, I hope we do.

        Or is the question about something else? Like do sci people get butthurt to easily? Some do and some don't. Am sure I have a few buttons...when you push one I make noise.
        "Never turn your back on fear. It should always be in front of you, like a thing that might have to be killed." - Hunter Thompson
        T5/6 complete

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Patton57 View Post
          I don't mind consideration at all. I truly appreciate kind gestures. Hey buddy often implies rank though.

          Perhaps responding in kind is the best way to handle this. Thanks buddy I really appreciate you getting that for me ...
          I read through a few definitions and derivative discussions of the word "buddy." I didn't get the sense that any of the usages implied "rank." Buddy can be used pejoratively, as in "Hey buddy, get a move on, the light isn't going to get any greener," and mean or imply "idiot" not "friend." Given the context of the "buddy" comments you cited, I think it is safe to say that the speaker meant "friend" or "pal" and was trying to do you a favor and had good intentions in mind. Guess I'd rather be called "buddy" or "pal" than "hey you." "Thanks buddy, I really appreciate you getting that for me ...," may come across as mocking and/or sarcastic. Drop the "buddy," and just offer a gracious and sincere "Thank you." You will make the person who had good intentions and went out of his way to show some human compassion and kindness feel good about offering to help someone another time.

          All the best,
          GJ

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          • #6
            Originally posted by gjnl View Post
            I read through a few definitions and derivative discussions of the word "buddy." I didn't get the sense that any of the usages implied "rank." Buddy can be used pejoratively, as in "Hey buddy, get a move on, the light isn't going to get any greener," and mean or imply "idiot" not "friend." Given the context of the "buddy" comments you cited, I think it is safe to say that the speaker meant "friend" or "pal" and was trying to do you a favor and had good intentions in mind. Guess I'd rather be called "buddy" or "pal" than "hey you." "Thanks buddy, I really appreciate you getting that for me ...," may come across as mocking and/or sarcastic. Drop the "buddy," and just offer a gracious and sincere "Thank you." You will make the person who had good intentions and went out of his way to show some human compassion and kindness feel good about offering to help someone another time.

            All the best,
            GJ
            So it does potentially carry additional meaning? That's all I'm trying to get at it.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Patton57 View Post
              So it does potentially carry additional meaning? That's all I'm trying to get at it.
              Seriously, ANYTHING can carry additional meaning.

              If you look for meaning, you will find it.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Patton57 View Post
                So it does potentially carry additional meaning? That's all I'm trying to get at it.
                It does have additional meaning when the intonation of the speaker is such that it comes across as brusque or angry followed by additional words of hostility and possibly internationally know hand gestures.

                Other names I've heard used to get the attention of someone whose name one doesn't know are "Mac," "Chief," "Hey Man," "Hey You," "Sir" "Lady," and "Madam."

                In Britain, you might hear "Gov" for men, and "Love" for women. In Australia you might hear "Mate" or "Matey."

                All of the kinds of generic names can be used just like "Buddy" that you used in your initial post.

                All the best,
                GJ
                Last edited by gjnl; 10-09-2016, 08:19 PM.

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                • #9

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Patton57 View Post
                    And/So?

                    All the best,
                    GJ

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                    • #11
                      I'm just having some fun.

                      I was torn between the Skipper and Gilligan (Little Buddy) and the Gene Wilder pictures.

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                      • #12
                        That is what I call a dude when I don't know their name. I have used different things at different times in my life, when I am annoyed at a stupid action that has caused me trouble/been generally harmful, I use 'yo slick' with a definite bad ring to it. People didn't generally offer me help up until the last couple of years, I used to move a lot faster. Today I was offered help 3 times in rapid succession putting my chair in the truck after filling up with gas. I just tell them, "naah, I got it, I just make it look hard to get sympathy, thank you anyway" with a laugh.
                        It all balances out though...when I blow past a car on the road in which the driver is still searching for the gas pedal, I often get the signal that they think I'm number one. I'm thinking about putting a scrolling led light panel in my back window that says "Need help finding your gas pedal buddy?"
                        I take it as a sign that there are truly compassionate people left in this self-centered world...gives me hope.

                        https://www.facebook.com/john.baxter.1213986

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                        • #13


                          ^^^^^ me at the grocery store every time. I'll admit I have a huge chip on my shoulder. I despise help. It implies I'm incapable. This is my cross to bear, my own feelings of inadequacy. So be it. It's my stupid Irish pride that makes me both detested and revered.

                          Nowadays I've given up and accept the pity. I realize it's that persons' way of trying to feel good about themselves by trying to help others. It has been discussed here in the past - a lot of times the "help" is more of a hinderence because as soon as you finish thanking them and finally getting them to leave you need to re-do whatever it is they've done in order for you to be able to unload groceries/wheelchair/etc. when you get home. I used to attempt to explain to people, but that just takes more time out of my day and only makes them feel worse about themselves as they're trying to do something to improve their self-worth.

                          I got told when I got hurt - "be nice, you represent all cripples". That is such horseshit. Do all guys wearing ball-caps represent every other guy wearing a ball-cap? Do all blondes speak for every other blonde? No. We are all individuals. In the small-ish bedroom community I live in I'm one of maybe 5 younger males in a wheelchair. After 5 years here most people leave me be, knowing I'm far less of a prick when I'm left alone. Again, my cross to bear.

                          oddity used the term "prickly". I like that description.
                          Last edited by tooley; 10-10-2016, 02:48 AM. Reason: sleepy, spelling errors

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by gjnl View Post
                            And/So?

                            All the best,
                            GJ
                            You brought me a brain named Abby Normal??!!!

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                            • #15
                              The best "hey buddy" ever

                              Rollin' since '89. Complete C8

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