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  • #16
    Originally posted by Patton57 View Post
    Several times a month I experience all kinds of different people, saying "Hey buddy" to me in a somewhat condescending and charitable tone. Is it just me or do other SCI'd males experience the same thing?

    The context is:
    Hey buddy let me get that door for you
    Hey buddy how are you doing?
    Hey what happened to you buddy?
    I can check you out over here buddy
    Hey do you need some help with that buddy?

    I never respond verbally I just tend to look them in the eye after the unsolicited comment.
    I don't have an SCI but I get this all the time. In the last 21 years I can't count how many. The other day at Trader Joe's the cashier said,"Hey buddy, let me get that for you." as he stretched and leaned over and trying to grab my card out of my hand so he could run it through. I actually had to hold on to it with some strength to keep it. I told him I could use the card myself, thank you. He was so offended, huffed and puffed and said in such a victimized tone that he was just trying to help. I thought the same thing I always do. Ask if I want help and then LISTEN to my answer.

    You are not alone.

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    • #17
      This thread went in an unexpected direction. I introduced a very narrow observation and those that replied enriched it in an interesting way. Perhaps my question needs to be more holistic. What social experiences should we let get to us (if any)? Maybe instead of letting unsolicited offers and how to deal with them weight us down perhaps we should have well thought out responses ready to go that are gracious, only take a few seconds to say and sincerely utilize (other's) extra energy that (let's face it) all of us could actually use (if you buy into Spoon Theory).

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      • #18
        A few months ago a guy in the grocery store said, "Can I give you a hand old timer?" I barely restrained myself from calling him a young whipper snapper. Seriously, I could care less, after 46 years of wheeling around it just rolls off my crippled back.

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        • #19
          I understand the "hey buddy" remark, and wonder the same thing myself because this can come as belittling, as if your 10 or 11 years old. When this happens to me, I try to see if this same person replies to a non-crippy person with "Hey buddy".
          Rollin' since '89. Complete C8

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Patton57 View Post
            What social experiences should we let get to us (if any)? Maybe instead of letting unsolicited offers and how to deal with them weight us down perhaps we should have well thought out responses ready to go that are gracious, only take a few seconds to say and sincerely utilize (other's) extra energy that (let's face it) all of us could actually use (if you buy into Spoon Theory).
            Great question! I just know I am learning to save my spoons for when I really need them. Had never heard the Theory before. Like it!

            Yo Slick...would definitely get my attention Capn...lol.
            "Never turn your back on fear. It should always be in front of you, like a thing that might have to be killed." - Hunter Thompson
            T5/6 complete

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            • #21
              You may be a little bit sensitive and then again you may not.

              If you had your choice what other salutation would you have strangers use when addressing you offering help?

              However, when it comes to communications:

              "Dr. Albert Mehrabian, author of Silent Messages, conducted several studies on nonverbal communication. He found that 7% of any message is conveyed through words, 38% through certain vocal elements, and 55% through nonverbal elements"

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              • #22
                Originally posted by tooley View Post


                ..
                I absolutely LOVED this! Had me online looking for the full scene and watching many shorts of other things...buddy
                thanks for posting that t00lmeister!

                https://www.facebook.com/john.baxter.1213986

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