Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Me Before You

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    #16
    [QUOTE=JamesMcM;1802017]I'm very sorry for your situation, I'm glad you have someone as good as him tho. As I read what you wrote, I was just thinking about these disabled activists going on about how the movie makes disabilities look tragic, and how truly ridiculous and troubling that statement was.
    /QUOTE]

    I absolutely agree! Hurt is all relative. Another para at the same level as these types may hurt bad enough to want to end their lives. I understand that and reason with them. For the life of me, I don't get how someone can make the judgement call on behalf of all people with paralysis that there is nothing tragic about it. Especially when the movie is about someone with a much higher injury and such significant dependency. Such as a quad may call a para whiney because they miss who they were.

    I was also touching on the part you felt the movie leaves out. The tough parts like accidents, intimacy barriers etc. I woke up to no movement from the shoulders down. I got to experience crying with nobody to wipe my tears, a sip and puff call bell. My husband even hung my camel bag on an IV pole so I had access to water right at my mouth. I feel like one of the luckiest girls in the world that I got to leave that behind. My husband feels that way too. The challenges we face are a drop in the bucket in comparison to what they could've been. Still, we tire.

    As for me and the hubby, we are the high school sweetheart love story when you look at the divorce rate in disabled marriages. To us, we are just that because of our ongoing commitment through so many seasons of change. We still have a fulfilling life as do I being I'm typically quite independent. My husband would be insulted if someone were to say "why stay?" Actually, he'd probably punch them. I also hate pity. I'm not pitiful. When people look in from the outside, they're like, "Awww, how cute", we just chuckle thinking "if you only knew". Don't let my initial post make us sound like we're miserable or ungrateful because we know we're lucky to have what we have. In the grand scheme of it all is the tragedy is it's not what it was or what we imagined.

    Hope that brings more clarity.

    Comment


      #17
      The film industry is about making money; nothing else matter.
      Tom

      "Blessed are the pessimists, for they hath made backups." Exasperated 20:12

      Comment


        #18
        Some of you seem to be assuming that all people protesting 'Me Before You' are "fully or mostly independent". Many/most are, but certainly not all.

        One of the links posted earlier was by Dominick Evans: https://storify.com/dominickevans/sa...fter#publicize. Dominick doesn't have a SCI - he has the progressive genetic disorder Spinal Muscular Atrophy - but he is home bound with a high level of physical impairment, as seen in this fundraiser: https://www.gofundme.com/nhwwpdnw

        I've seen a photo from the protest in NY. It showed a man in a power wheelchair, using a vent. He was wearing a 'Not Dead Yet' tshirt, and seemed to be holding a 'We're not better off dead' sign (if you look closely, you can see that someone else is holding the sign in front of them - he presumably doesn't have enough arm/hand function to hold the sign himself).

        There are others, too.
        C6/7 incomplete SCI, cerebral palsy and a connective tissue disorder... long story.

        Comment


          #19
          I keepwatching these YouTube videos, and blog posts I've never been more disgusted. I have never been more ashamed to be a part of this! This movie, was just that a movie it didn't push me any closer or farther to suicide I'm a strong enough person and know myself well enough to figure that out on my own. However watching all of this disabled activists nonsense, has just emphasized all of my reasons for why I despise this so much, why I find these supposed self-proclaimed inspirations so un inspirational,how cringe worthy some of their mentalities are just to cope,how easily they delude themselves of reality! that is evident in what they are saying it has nothing to do with the movie! Seeing all of this just makes me want to honour kill myself so I don't have to be a part of this, even remotely associated by default. This is the most fucking attention spinal cord injury has gotten since Christopher Reeve's AND WHAT HAVE "WE" FUCKING DONE!!! Bitched whined about public perception, worry PARALYSIS FROM THE NECK DOWN might come off as tragic what a joke. Just showed how fragile we really are, no heroes amongst us that's for sure!!!

          If I have to watch one more person say I know someone that's 100% dependent but 100% independent in their mind,or make a video where they change their own catheter and say " with positivity, perseverance anything is possible" i'm going to be sick. This is the kind of delusion, this is the kind of contorted reality that the injury does to people. And I don't want this to happen to anyone else! But I feel that because were told it's impossible we give up, then we tell ourselves so I went out and did something we are living boldly; talk about dropping expectations. Or worse we figure it won't help us so why bother, won't be here for 30 years well isn't that a good thing at least you know that your grandchildren/ next gen family won't be affected by it, don't you feel responsible don't you want to help solidify that and make sure that it is here in 30 years. FUCK this is why we are all still in these chairs, this is why people will continue to be in these chairs. let's all pat ourselves on the back, I hope these "disabled activist" feel proud how inspirational, how brave #livebodlymyass
          Last edited by JamesMcM; 5 Jun 2016, 7:28 PM.

          Comment


            #20
            My friend is in this rebuttal to "Me Before You" and its sibling death is better than disability flicks.

            :www.facebook.com:rochestercdr:videos:1015396929072 7550:.webloc
            Last edited by Uncle Peter; 5 Jun 2016, 4:57 PM.

            Comment


              #21
              A rebuttal to "Me Before You."

              file://localhost/Users/PeterHealy/Desktop/(1)%20Center%20for%20Disability%20Rights.webloc

              Comment


                #22
                I don't value my life any more or less, now, than I did before my injury 27 years ago. Both before and after my injury I have let others, at times, make me feel my life wasn't valuable or didn't matter.

                Every living individual has the choice of whether or not to fight for whatever life they may have. Hopefully, each individual has the best information to make the most informed choice for themselves. Everything I've seen along the way tells me this life is worth fighting for.

                Comment


                  #23
                  great book, looking forward to seeing the movie this week.
                  Bike-on.com rep
                  John@bike-on.com
                  c4/5 inc funtioning c6. 28 yrs post.
                  sponsored handcycle racer

                  Comment


                    #24
                    For high injuries there's boccia bc3 you play with a ramp and assistant so long you can move your head nose chin to release the ball your sweet and yes it played up to paralympic level. There is power hockey, soccer, bowling as well. I know a number of head control users who 1 or more of these sports

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Oh guess you proved me wrong. So those very limited number of Sports , that it depended more so on machinery and assistance (I can't consider those sports, even able-bodied full and isn't a sport) is just supposed to be enjoyable and fur filling to every individual? Those are all essentially the same thing they don't even target different forms of athleticism, they don't require different abilities or efforts to give any kind of variety to be more stimulating to a certain person. It would be much more for filling to go sailing at least in my eyes even if you have no arm function you can go sailing, you can even drive with mouth control. The problem is ( problem with any activity) we are dependent for assistance, so you either need to have the money to pay for someone to be there as much as you want to do it it would be great if I could do something like that on a daily basis or at least a couple times a week, or do you need a friend to do it but they have lights to you can't depend on them to be there all the time and if they can't be there you don't get to do it. So they really don't have anything comparable to the amount of activities and adaptability that lower injuries due yes even in the cervical vertebrae so it drives me nuts when people use some pictures and videos of T 12 paraplegic or some very incomplete circle injury doing all of these somewhat fast paced sports to speak for the entire picture. Tell me why don't any of these "motivational" videos showing event dependent quad using their nose to activate a release for a ball? And I'm not talking about some independent thing made by some C3 injury that actually enjoys that activity (good for them) btw. But you know what with everything I've seen there may very well in fact be an inspirational video about robotics doing a sport for some severely disabled guy to come off as inspirational. All of this is a moot point, high quadriplegia is a travesty, nobody is going to look at a disabled person and say wow what a guy I wish I was like him, naturally they're going to think I couldn't imagine being like that, or I'd rather be dead! And rightfully so! Just because any of us live in this fucked up reality long enough that are mind just becomes content with that,eventually it just becomes the norm does not mean that every individual is going to just except dependency, and find a for filling life and it some people it crosses their principles way too far, some people it's too much or combination of both, A lot of people just don't think a life like this is worth living they'll come to the conclusion on their own. So we should not be trying to say it's not a tragedy,that's delusional that's a disturbing mentality and I pity anyone that thinks that. and it sure as hell doesn't mean we should be announcing to the world I don't need to be cured because spinal cord injury very much needs to be cured in order for that to happen they need to know how impactful it is and how important it is to be achievedit's as worthwhile over cause as cancer it just affects a smaller percentage of people but many people would say spinal cord injury is worse than cancer, others would disagree but the fact is being paralyzed increase your likelihood of various cancers and other horrible diseases! So like come on people let's actually be inspirational! The spotlight is gone now we totally butchered and slaughtered that opportunityhonestly unless a poor bastard celebrity ends up like Christopher Reeves it's not gonna happen again. So like I said Pat ourselves on the back

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Is there anything positive that you've learned from your experience with spinal cord injury James?
                        Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                        T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

                        Comment


                          #27
                          I'm kind of surprised you'd ask that Jenn. You want James to list the good parts about losing his health, independence, and future?

                          Comment


                            #28
                            No of course not. Just hate seeing him in such agony.
                            Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                            T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Originally posted by lynnifer View Post
                              Is there anything positive that you've learned from your experience with spinal cord injury James?
                              One thing, and one thing only! a kind of self-realization I was a fool, all the time wasted being angry, self-pity about things that were completely changeable. Not enough money get two jobs, get qualified for a better job; wasn't winning train harder, find your weaknesses target them, focus on them! Gaining weight, losing weight, not happy with image, feeling tired getting sick exercise every day, Incorporate ahealthy diet designed to do what you want to do for yourself. Vision problems, trouble with memory, hair problems, sexual problems, not happy with height,lack of knowledge so much of the human body can be improved with proven techniques and programs that just require a substantial effort and religious determination doctors doubt them, there often unknown but I've seen numerous people achieve what they clam to do. I was never someone to take the human body for granted, but I had no idea how to beautiful it is. This sounds childish but I can't imagine feeling sorry for myself being healthy able to have incredible sex/reach orgasm,seriously though it's a taboo but it's so vital. And The little things that I didn't even acknowledge opening your fingers, feeling water run through them, reaching out to touch interact with anything. The sensation tell your brain that's warm sand, your dogs soft fur;different strong textures between a oak tree, pine tree good old maple tree,falling into bed Rolling around feeling actual comfort, touching another person feeling their warmth life, knowing they're there, knowing you yourself are there its all unfathomably beautiful. Many times I've just seen someone in my family sitting around saying their board, or having a fit. And I recommend going for a run, or try and point out these unknown luxuries making someone able to appreciate these things truly would do them so much good. But often I just get defensive annoyed responses, someone said that to me before I probably would respond with "don't be a fairy". I'm not trying to prove anything to them I just wish they would take it in, but how could they ever know . Got my head out of my own ass, now I realize how much people are truly suffering, how many horrible disease and disabilities take everything the split second. I hate my life, and I'm ashamed of myself for living like this every day but now when I think of my time ending I don't feel anything good justice done. But when I think about all those people that starved themselves for months,my chest fills with an empty pain. When I think of all these people stuck in their homes all these young kids that are going to end up paralyzed from the neck down it just makes me sick. When I see someone that can barely move anything and has no real control over their own life tell me how happy they are makes me feel the same way... I guess I grew empathy, and understanding of a ugly reality positive and negative, I guess...
                              Last edited by JamesMcM; 8 Jun 2016, 9:04 PM.

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Gregory Go Boom

                                I am surprised with all the out cry of Me Before You that no one ever mentioned this short movie?

                                Gregory Go Boom




                                Ti
                                "We must overcome difficulties rather than being overcome by difficulties."

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X