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    #16
    Oh wow. I just saw all the responses. What an understanding community. I am definitely doing the grieving, getting lots of support and planning for my future with good advice. It's such a huge adjustment and living with family until I get my own accessible space is a challenge to my feeling "like myself" but it's good to be with them. I am pained about leaving Hawaii and our dream of a great house with a view of the ocean. I miss the everyday warmth and especially the swimming and snorkeling- my favorite thing to do. But I must say goodbye for now and be grateful for all the good relationships I still do have here.
    Sometime soon I need to write about it on my blog....another step...
    Again, thank you for the encouragement!
    http://www.laughwithmecrywithme.com
    my website & blog

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      #17
      I am sorry to read you are going through this.

      I would strongly echo Patton57's advice about protecting your rights. Retain the independent legal advice of an experienced divorce lawyer in your state.

      Do not sacrifice fairness and justice for expediency (Ex. Aww. Whatever. Let's just get it over with.)

      Keep positive!

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        #18
        I'm so sorry to hear this. I understand how difficult it is on a spouse because I see it, especially during pouring storms. It's still not an excuse or a reason to do such things. My heart is with you.

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          #19
          This is a Brand New opportunity for You. Someone told me a few years ago, "Get Busy living, or Get Busy Dying". Right!!!

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            #20
            sorry this happened.

            when it happened to me, I found, he did me a giant favor. I had no plans of a future relationship after that, but I would meet mr right once mr ex had absconded.
            that guy was such a whiney bitch. he complained and stomped around all the time, big ol baby when the going got a little rough from just life going on.

            He tried to run off with someone, but she was only interested in married men that had a home that wasn't her home.
            He went and told everyone we knew that he left me because I cheated on him with Mr right. the only one who believed him was his mother.

            it was his car wrecking that got me injured in the first place. I was the one with a job, and to keep it, I rode a bike to work.
            I got hit by a drunk driver.
            stupid me for marrying that guy.

            It took several restraining orders to keep him from stealing my car, and just walking into my apartment, while he was still squatting in our foreclosed house a year and a half later.

            finally, it took a judges order for him to sign the divorce papers. he finally signed them when he was arrested for trespassing. (breaking into our foreclosed house after they threw him out several times)

            I didn't bother to own a car for six years, because he would steal them and wreck them, even if I had a restraining order and he went to jail for it.

            he even tried to steal my tricycle, but someone saw him made him bring it back. he stole my dog. I wouldn't have another dog for ten years.

            eleven years after getting dumped because he didn't want a defective wife,
            ..........shoot, I still feel like throwing a party because im rid of his nonsense.
            Last edited by jody; 26 Aug 2016, 6:09 PM.

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              #21
              I ran across this 5 year old post I started when I was still in trauma from my ex leaving me unexpectedly. It was so nice to have a place here to get support. And now I'm so happy to update...

              ...I got an attorney and worked HARD and retained my full annuity for life payments so I am fine financially.
              ...I got lots of counselling, prayer, divorce and grief support groups and am growing and healing beautifully. (I learned that I was codependent and married to an unwell narcissist who put me through trauma and stress for 37 years that I didn't even realize I could be free from)
              ...I have learned to take care of myself so much better and have grown in so many ways
              ...3 years later I met a man who is gentle, patient and kind and who lets me be strong and myself. We got married last year and I am happier that I ever was with my ex.

              Thank You God. Thank you CC community!
              http://www.laughwithmecrywithme.com
              my website & blog

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                #22
                What a wonderful update! So nice to hear it all worked out for you, and congratulations on your marriage!

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                  #23
                  Originally posted by darlagee22 View Post
                  I ran across this 5 year old post I started when I was still in trauma from my ex leaving me unexpectedly. It was so nice to have a place here to get support. And now I'm so happy to update...
                  So happy for you! Thank you for updating us on your relationship situation and how you took control and improved your status. It gives hope to many in similar situations.

                  (KLD)
                  The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

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                    #24
                    It's great to see this fabulous update, darlagee22! I am so happy for you, happy that you and your husband found each other, happy for your renewal on so many levels. Thank you for sharing this wonderful series of developments with us!
                    MS with cervical and thoracic cord lesions

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                      #25
                      Darlagee22, what wonderful news. It's too bad it took such a bad event to finally make things so much better years later. Congrats!!!!

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                        #26
                        Happy to hear all is going well!
                        Wishing you all the best.

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                          #27
                          Very sorry you had to go through that nightmare and happy it all worked out in the long run. It's so common with injuries like this. You deserve to have a great and enjoyable life whether you have a disability or not!

                          I met my wife when I was about 20. We've been together and then married since then. I am now 45. We have two kids and when I got hurt my youngest was about 4 months old.

                          Within about 2 years she started telling me she wanted to be separated. About a year after that she was seeing somebody else very seriously.

                          We are still living together although I never really see her. Opposite parts of the house. Everything is amicable and I'm trying to keep things as friendly as possible for the kid's sake.

                          In my opinion she is leaving me and basically pulling the family apart, and she should leave and find a new place to live. Not to mention this is the house I've lived in my entire life. Purchase from my parents. But the idea of having to have my kids leave is so nauseating to me. I'm not sure if I can ask them to do it.

                          About 3 weeks ago she told me she was pregnant. Extreme morning sickness. So now I had her boyfriend in my house every single day taking care of her. Then she had a miscarriage about a week ago. And she was so sick from that he was sleeping over. So here I am living in a room of the house, with my wife and her boyfriend sleeping in my old bedroom.

                          We went from a normal, fun loving family with two great kids, to the Jerry Springer show after I broke my neck. I still haven't contacted a lawyer. I know I have to but it makes it more real and right now I'm just living in complete denial......

                          Anyway, that's just my fun story I'm sure so many people have their own. Not to mention the original poster who got me spewing all my dirty laundry

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                            #28
                            I would kick her ass out myself. Thats what I did over 25 years ago. When my 2 sons came every other weekend we all got alone a lot better. I even out lived her soo far.....lol
                            Art

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                            • Mitchitsu
                              Mitchitsu commented
                              Editing a comment
                              I wish legally I could. But easier said than done. Also my kid's happiness is more important to me than my own, and I don't know if I can live with myself if I had them leave their house. They have everything here. I really wish I had a good option...
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