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  • Suumer

    I like doing things with my family. Last summer I kept up sort of. This summer is coming and I am fearful of trying to keep up.
    My family says that I have been acting strange. However I feel the same I have for several years. Feels like you just have to live a lie.

  • #2
    Weird....why would you be fearful of keeping up with your family? Go out and do shit.


    • #3
      thankful you have a family that wants you to come along ... grass always greener, or not, I guess
      Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

      T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12


      • #4
        I think I understand this Stevegalliazzo! Several years ago while still working full time I had a very hard time keeping up with my large family. This included visits from out of state relatives, graduation parties, holidays, weddings (ok, I attended all of the receptions), get-togethers, etc. Just the travel, usually 2 hrs. round trip, was a concern. Most of my family members live fairly close to each other, so travel is not an issue to them.

        I began being selective which caused me to miss some events I really wanted to attend, but just didn't have the endurance for being gone from very accessible home all day long. Attending about 3 events a year, and having them visit me was the solution that worked. They always included an invitation to me, and it was difficult to turn them down, but they understood as I explained why early on.

        Being honest and explaining exactly why these events are difficult, but asking them to keep me on the "invite" list, was helpful to the one or two I explained this to, but further....they passed this information on to other family members so no one bugs me about it. Admitting my situation to myself was a hurdle I had to jump. Before I explained things, I would attend several events a year and grumble all the way.

        Funny thing.....sometimes a family member would comment to me ......'wasn't it funny when the baby threw up on Charley!!'. My response is usually something like 'Whew'.
        (I had not attended that event!) That kind of thing happened more than once, reminding me that people don't remember that you didn't make it, they just want to have some fun.


        • #5
          Hey Steve Galliazzo, It certainly sounds like you have the "Blahs". Do what you are comfortable doing, understanding "you" will have a tomorrow to live as well. Too much living can give you a hangover, and then you will regret yesterday. Let the folks all know when "YOU" have had enough. That is what "I" do when the family get together's become tough to take any longer. You have to, to survive. These things are enjoyable, sometimes too much so! So it is wise to limit yourself at any single event, and maybe enjoy them all, or the most of them.. But enjoy family, just restrict "yourself", and the biggest thing is tell everyone why. It is very likely they will accept your self imposed restrictions. I might even take a nap during some events, if I can.

          My sons and son in law, are rowdy, they drink up a storm when they are together, they raise hell, and I love to be right in it with them. However, I do not drink alcohol at all. But why stop them? I enjoy them. But there comes a time or hour when I pull stakes and go to bed, or leave and go home. I pace my activities to what "I" can do, they are very acceptable to this. I am now 77 and these young bucks, as well as my daughter, and their spouses are understanding. Don't simply withdraw from these activities, just learn what you are capable of, and tell everybody how, and why you are restricting your activities. Enjoy your summer.


          • #6
            Thank you for the comments. My oldest brother told me to look after myself first and I am listening. I have a real bad mood by the end of most days. Depression. I also don't sleep well. I am trying to cure these two things. The sci thing on top that will never be cured just makes it all to much.
            I am a handicapped and have to stay home and do what I can. If they(family) want me to attend something it has to be on my terms.
            I went for a weeks holiday with my wife last year and barely made it. I had fun but didn't fit in. I still don't and my never. Some of them understand that I just like staying home
            Bob is right. None of this is by choice. I need to determine my own pace and destiny.
            Enjoying summer is possible.
            I have been going through another rough patch but feel better again for a few days at least.


            • #7
              Sleep is better. If I can get some consistency in sleep. Have been being given too many different pills lately. String a few good days together.