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Another cripple asked me "Do you need help?"

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  • #16
    So I am an asshole... not that I didn't know that before, but it's good to reconfirm from time to time.

    I ran into the guy a second time. He was already parked in his parking space, door open, getting out. He's got a manual chair in the passenger seat, so it's pretty clear he's at least paraish (as in he ain't walking to the trunk to get the chair). I back into the space beside him, give him another polite "hey, howsitgoin?" To which he doesn't really respond. And proceed to assemble my chair, grab my work bag and disappear inside my apartment before he's completely assembled his chair...

    I probably should have asked if he needed any help, but that's just not how I roll.

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    • #17
      Too bad.

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      • #18
        It still surprises me when I have eye contact with another wheeler when out and about and they quickly look away, ignoring the contact. It's just a habit I have of looking them in the eye as if to say 'hey, we're out livin' our lives and it's good'.
        I would say about 90% do not acknowledge the gesture of greeting/camaraderie.
        Might have something to do with acceptance of disability as I recall a time when younger and such contact was strangely uncomfortable.
        Kinda hope you get a chance to talk to this person.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by triumph View Post
          It still surprises me when I have eye contact with another wheeler when out and about and they quickly look away, ignoring the contact. It's just a habit I have of looking them in the eye as if to say 'hey, we're out livin' our lives and it's good'.
          I would say about 90% do not acknowledge the gesture of greeting/camaraderie.
          Might have something to do with acceptance of disability as I recall a time when younger and such contact was strangely uncomfortable.
          Kinda hope you get a chance to talk to this person.
          I've since moved out of that apartment (only there temporarily for one month) so I won't be seeing that cat again.

          I think I'm probably a little like the people you describe who look away when out and about. Definitely a defense mechanism along the lines of "why would I acknowledge that you or I are any different than everyone else in this shop". Which I recognize is a dumb thing to do. I rode motorcycles for many years, and if you didn't wave at a bike passing in the opposite direction you were an asshole (that or you rode a Harley). Though to be honest, I see someone in a manual chair maybe two times a year... perhaps it has something to do with the hilly town I've inexplicably chosen to call home for half a decade.

          That's definitely the kind of vibe I was giving out to the other wheeler parked next to me, but I kinda stand by that in this particular situation. If you're ignorant enough to ask whether or not I need help the answer is no (I wasn't counting on you being here to help me when I got in the car) and I have nothing further to say to you unless you magically prove yourself unignorant in the short amount of time before I disappear, and those caveats apply whether or not you're in a chair. Like I've said before, I have many character flaws, and apparently pride and a sense of superiority are among them.

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