Inspiration, "you're so strong" haha

[Oddity]

Here's another golden nugget of wisdom for you:

You don't get to decide whether or not you are inspirational. While you're certainly free to decide what or who inspires you, merely being told you've inspired someone is sufficient to make your being inspirational necessary. That's basic logic.

It is the one inspired deciding for themselves what inspires them.

This conversation is actually about how you deal with being confronted with inspiring people, not whether or not you are, or are not.

You inspired someone, therefor you are matter of fact inspirational.

[Sarafino]

Being told I am inspirational or brave or that they would kill themselves if they had to live like me makes me feel even more alone and isolated. Inside I am struggling, drowning, to be around others I have to summon up the very last bits of anything left of myself to seem 'normal'. What I want is a hand reaching out to me in the darkness, but that is not what I get from others. My response to it is to isolate myself even more. I suppose any hand reaching out to me would have to be from myself, but I am finding it harder and harder to pull my self together these days. So I get it, really, being told that you are inspiring sometimes feels like being stabbed with a stick.

[JamesMcM]

And yet where would I be without you to serve up these softballs for me...we make a great team!

Ha agreed, Other than the fact you do tend to avoid the hardballs

[JamesMcM]

Here's another golden nugget of wisdom for you:

You don't get to decide whether or not you are inspirational. While you're certainly free to decide what or who inspires you, merely being told you've inspired someone is sufficient to make your being inspirational necessary. That's basic logic.

It is the one inspired deciding for themselves what inspires them.

This conversation is actually about how you deal with being confronted with inspiring people, not whether or not you are, or are not.

You inspired someone, therefor you are matter of fact inspirational.

Can't Necessarily argue with that fact, but the only reason they think I'm inspirational is because of their ignorance, And general weakness in themselves. So before all this nonsense, I thought I was a big tough guy, trained fighter, power lift anything or do anything you thought was crazy, face a beating with a smile cause I honestly enjoyed getting punched still miss it today, I enjoyed swallowing my fear. But I was scared of needles, specifically IVs even though I did when I had to. And I remember training one time and for whatever reason a tracheostomy came up in conversation I grabbed a hold of my neck in disgust and fear didn't know things like that exist, I remember watching beyond scared straight and they showed the catheter they put in you after a accidents again really taken back. And for some reason I've always had a fear of kidney issues and stone like a huge fear. Well the accident happened I had more IVs that I could count, had a tracheostomy, dealt with every type of catheter, had stones removed pissing blood and after all that fear that I faced, not even for a fraction of a second have I ever felt I was brave because of it, in fact if anything I felt the opposite.

I could sit back and make all kinds of stories about how I use the will, and my strength to pull through the horrible pneumonia, my dedication and spirit help me survive the severe blood infection I got, and the stage three bedsore. When in reality the very powerful antibiotics did all the work, the RT's shoving the tube down my throat shaking me sucking the flam did all the work, and the nurses turning me was the only reason that sore healed. Urologists shoved the laser vacuum down my dick I just laid there cringing I didn't really do anything, I was just the unpleasant bystander that had to feel it they deal. But every day I read about all the stories the news or the person themselves make up about how will this to work pull them through blah blah. I was in the hospital a total of nine months because everything that could go wrong did, the hospital wasn't knowledgeable in dealing with quadriplegia that high, and I head physician and surgeon didn't want to send me to a proper care facility in the condition I was because of reputation. Hopefully I can sue that facility win then put the money towards my goal in a treatment. Needless to say after being so helpless and getting so sick and dealing with such incompetence and neglect, I have a very real fear of hospitals vowed I would never stay in one again. But last month I ended up getting a really bad kidney infection, and after sometime I ended up spending a week in the hospital, people told me how brave I was as if I accomplished something really all I did was lay there and receive antibiotics haha. And if that's what you find inspiring then that is sad plain and simple.

One thing that I notice on hear is people talking about giving up, and obviously from there writing I can tell they referred to giving up as killing themselves or dying. Yet that rarely happens. When I went to the hospital I broke a vow to myself, I broke my principal why you may ask, because dying ain't easy, especially that way in fact it's probably the hardest thing for someone to do, and fear got the better of me. For all of you using that term giving up, that young high quadriplegic lady that starved herself to death in that group home because she couldn't stand being the depending or dealing with bowel care. She has more will, strength and bravery then anything I've read on this forum or any other forum. No matter how you do it if it really comes down to that moment the difficulty is in measurable, something that difficult is far from giving up, it's moving on. Her story made me very sad, but in a way it was very inspirational for me. If I failed my mission, and I'm trapped in this dependence, I hope I can muster up half the conviction that she did, I doubt myself like anyone else tho.

[funklab]

But every day I read about all the stories the news or the person themselves make up about how will this to work pull them through blah blah.

I second you on this sentiment. New people are just out to make a buck, I suppose, but celebrating someone's "miraculous recovery" is implying that the rest of us are just sitting on our asses and if we'd just try a little harder we too could walk like that pretty army lady on TV who smashed her spine up in Afghanistan. Like any one of us who started to get some reconnection between the brain and the body wouldn't work our asses of to maximize our recovery (not that there's much you could do).

I'm not religious, but if I was, I'm sure I'd get even more pissed off at the ignorant cunts who just want to pray for you, or think if you'd just come to their church or hear their preacher you'd definitely be cured. Because obviously people in wheelchairs just lack enough faith to be healed... living in the south has it's downsides I suppose. All those damn faithless amputees too, I haven't seen nary a one of them with enough faith to regrow an appendage.

[Garyis]

--Spoken words: "you're so strong" or "you're an inspiration".

You say: What they're thinking when saying, "wow, your life must be a fuking nightmare. All day in a chair...for life. My life isn't so bad after all. At least I'm not you. Thank god that's not me!!"

What you are thinking when someone says; "you're so strong" or "you're an inspiration" is; "wow, your life must be a f*ing nightmare. All day in a chair...for life. My life isn't so bad after all. At least I'm not you. Thank god that's not me!!"

Tell me that you are a mind reader.

[Garyis]

"Don't have any support system here. Good days and bad. You get used to it." - Lynnifer

I became paralyzed at age 39, had an ex-wife & 2 kids. I had a life before it became a different life. My kids live many miles away to be of any help. Now I am seventy-seven and have all the age related problems that come with aging. I still live alone, (I have help 2 days a week) but it is looking like I won't be able to keep on keeping on for much longer.

These aging problems can be just as bad as paralysis, but as Lynnifer notes;

"Don't have any support system here. Good days and bad. You get used to it."

Get used to it, it gets better and it gets worse. Ain't no fun, ain't no being 'happy', it is a rugged drag with moments of time that are actually great!

I'm ready to leave any time now.
Go away from here.
Get away from this.

Just a note not worth 2 cents.

[Garyis]

Here's another golden nugget of wisdom for you:

You don't get to decide whether or not you are inspirational. While you're certainly free to decide what or who inspires you, merely being told you've inspired someone is sufficient to make your being inspirational necessary. That's basic logic.

It is the one inspired deciding for themselves what inspires them.

This conversation is actually about how you deal with being confronted with inspiring people, not whether or not you are, or are not.

You inspired someone, therefor you are matter of fact inspirational.

Sounds reasonable enough to be the truth of the matter.

[stephen212]

All those damn faithless amputees too, I haven't seen nary a one of them with enough faith to regrow an appendage.

http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/

[Oddity]

http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/

Is that a serious web site? It can't be! If it is, send its authors back to school, and enroll them in a critical thinking course!!! It must be satire. It must be!

[Oddity]

Sounds reasonable enough to be the truth of the matter.

Thanks Gary.

[Oddity]

I became paralyzed at age 39, had an ex-wife & 2 kids. I had a life before it became a different life. My kids live many miles away to be of any help. Now I am seventy-seven and have all the age related problems that come with aging. I still live alone, (I have help 2 days a week) but it is looking like I won't be able to keep on keeping on for much longer.

These aging problems can be just as bad as paralysis, but as Lynnifer notes;

Get used to it, it gets better and it gets worse. Ain't no fun, ain't no being 'happy', it is a rugged drag with moments of time that are actually great!

I'm ready to leave any time now.
Go away from here.
Get away from this.

Just a note not worth 2 cents.

Worth something to me. I still need reminding of this, which you've done for me, a few times now, over the years around here. Been going through a shaky patch with the ol'Missus recently, which has also provided the opportunity to run some "thought experiments" re: life as a single and aging paraplegic. They always end the way you describe.

[Oddity]

Can't Necessarily argue with that fact, but the only reason they think I'm inspirational is because of their ignorance, And general weakness in themselves. So before all this nonsense, I thought I was a big tough guy, trained fighter, power lift anything or do anything you thought was crazy, face a beating with a smile cause I honestly enjoyed getting punched still miss it today, I enjoyed swallowing my fear. But I was scared of needles, specifically IVs even though I did when I had to. And I remember training one time and for whatever reason a tracheostomy came up in conversation I grabbed a hold of my neck in disgust and fear didn't know things like that exist, I remember watching beyond scared straight and they showed the catheter they put in you after a accidents again really taken back. And for some reason I've always had a fear of kidney issues and stone like a huge fear. Well the accident happened I had more IVs that I could count, had a tracheostomy, dealt with every type of catheter, had stones removed pissing blood and after all that fear that I faced, not even for a fraction of a second have I ever felt I was brave because of it, in fact if anything I felt the opposite.

I could sit back and make all kinds of stories about how I use the will, and my strength to pull through the horrible pneumonia, my dedication and spirit help me survive the severe blood infection I got, and the stage three bedsore. When in reality the very powerful antibiotics did all the work, the RT's shoving the tube down my throat shaking me sucking the flam did all the work, and the nurses turning me was the only reason that sore healed. Urologists shoved the laser vacuum down my dick I just laid there cringing I didn't really do anything, I was just the unpleasant bystander that had to feel it they deal. But every day I read about all the stories the news or the person themselves make up about how will this to work pull them through blah blah. I was in the hospital a total of nine months because everything that could go wrong did, the hospital wasn't knowledgeable in dealing with quadriplegia that high, and I head physician and surgeon didn't want to send me to a proper care facility in the condition I was because of reputation. Hopefully I can sue that facility win then put the money towards my goal in a treatment. Needless to say after being so helpless and getting so sick and dealing with such incompetence and neglect, I have a very real fear of hospitals vowed I would never stay in one again. But last month I ended up getting a really bad kidney infection, and after sometime I ended up spending a week in the hospital, people told me how brave I was as if I accomplished something really all I did was lay there and receive antibiotics haha. And if that's what you find inspiring then that is sad plain and simple.

One thing that I notice on hear is people talking about giving up, and obviously from there writing I can tell they referred to giving up as killing themselves or dying. Yet that rarely happens. When I went to the hospital I broke a vow to myself, I broke my principal why you may ask, because dying ain't easy, especially that way in fact it's probably the hardest thing for someone to do, and fear got the better of me. For all of you using that term giving up, that young high quadriplegic lady that starved herself to death in that group home because she couldn't stand being the depending or dealing with bowel care. She has more will, strength and bravery then anything I've read on this forum or any other forum. No matter how you do it if it really comes down to that moment the difficulty is in measurable, something that difficult is far from giving up, it's moving on. Her story made me very sad, but in a way it was very inspirational for me. If I failed my mission, and I'm trapped in this dependence, I hope I can muster up half the conviction that she did, I doubt myself like anyone else tho.

I hear you. I agree that some of the shit people say is easy to take as patronizing bullshit. I do that sometimes, but I've tried hard to cultivate patterns of thought that help me avoid doing it, but it does happen. Thankfully it rarely happens and goes unnoticed by me; and like the old saying goes, "Knowing is half the battle!".

Yeah, it takes huge will power to starve oneself to death. I don't know if it qualifies for my definition of bravery, or courage, but that would depend on information I don't have (i.e. her state of mind, attitude about death, etc.)

It's tempting and easy to project our fears into others and consider them "brave" or "inspirational" when we see them facing what scares us, but that isn't always the truth. That is what most people seeing us and judging us as being "brave" and "inspirational" are essentially doing. I don't think that's necessarily a weak and ignorant thing to do. I think that's the nucleus of empathy and compassion.

[JamesMcM]

I hear you. I agree that some of the shit people say is easy to take as patronizing bullshit. I do that sometimes, but I've tried hard to cultivate patterns of thought that help me avoid doing it, but it does happen. Thankfully it rarely happens and goes unnoticed by me; and like the old saying goes, "Knowing is half the battle!".

Yeah, it takes huge will power to starve oneself to death. I don't know if it qualifies for my definition of bravery, or courage, but that would depend on information I don't have (i.e. her state of mind, attitude about death, etc.)

It's tempting and easy to project our fears into others and consider them "brave" or "inspirational" when we see them facing what scares us, but that isn't always the truth. That is what most people seeing us and judging us as being "brave" and "inspirational" are essentially doing. I don't think that's necessarily a weak and ignorant thing to do. I think that's the nucleus of empathy and compassion.

Man Do you ever read your own post to see how you contradicting self, you're always just trying to prove me wrong that there is strength, will etc. Just crap! You were the one that pulled out the definition of courage it is to face ones fears. Well I don't care what anyone says some people can face it, but nobody's not afraid of it deep down it's instinctual. So therefore she faced the greatest fear of assault, making her extremely courageous! Her state of mind was solid also, so that didnt make it any easier , She was sick of being taken care of and didn't want to burden anyone, and wanted her boyfriend ex-boyfriend to move on.

[triumph]

Hubby got a "You're inspiring" while he was pumping gas from his wheelchair yesterday. We had yet another chuckle over it.