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  • Transgender etiquette question

    I was having an online discussion with a woman who had transgendered from male. She saw some pets in a store locked up with no aircon or fans going on the weekend and called 911 - four times. She then called the operator a 'heartless bitch,' because the operator said it wasn't important. (Calling the pet store only got you a voicemail with no option to leave a message. I said calling New York City 911 4 times seemed a bit excessive).

    I mentioned that perhaps they were inundated with other calls - you never know what's going on. She proceeded to tell me that operator's job and called her a heartless bitch again.

    I said I thought that was a little misogynistic ... I don't like it when women tear others down, especially using a derogatory term like, 'bitch.'

    She then went on this tirade asking me if I was aware of her gender and accused me of calling her a man because I said her terminology was misogynistic. I pride myself on being politically and socially correct.

    I know it's difficult to tell in a relayed third party conversation ... but was I wrong? So a female who has transitioned from male cannot be misogynistic by default?
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  • #2
    Whether she likes it or not, we all have the XY chromosomes in us. A man or woman can be misogynistic. IMO, newly transgendered are like newly born again Christians; they kind of go overboard and are narrow minded. Behaps tunnel visioned is a better word than narrow minded.

    She above all should be more aware of derogatory terms. No you were not wrong. I think you were just reminding her that women don't call another woman a bitch. Shows you have class girl; good for you for sticking up for other women.

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    • #3
      I agree. Either men or women (or trans) can be misogynistic, just as a person of color can be a racist as easily as a white person.

      Your "friend" should have called the Humane Society, though, not 911.

      (KLD)
      The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

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      • #4
        I feel sorry the pets were treated this way, but calling 911 four times is outrageous. It's okay to slam this woman any way you want to get her attention.
        I have had periodic paralysis all my life. I lost my ability to walk in 2011 beginning with a spinal block, which was used for a hip fracture caused by periodic paralysis.

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        • #5
          I see roles as I read the original thread, its a male role no its a female role why doesn't this fit?!?! I have my 'idea' of what a man does and what a woman does and if there is behavior outside of those limits well they are not normal. The transgendered friend in the post does not fit in either man or woman role in my head so I have created a 3rd stereotype for the role when a man changes to a woman. Sad to say that person in SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, the 'put the lotion in the bucket' dude is who I see. Guess that what the media does and that fact motivates me to be more tolerant. These are fun times we live in

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          • #6
            Originally posted by lynnifer View Post
            I pride myself on being politically and socially correct.
            Maybe Pat or Chris was right and she really was a heartless bitch. I dunno, I think PC was so 1980's, nowadays...??? I think it must be a regional thing with political correctness. If someone came up to me in person telling this tale of a casual conversation that turned into a misogynist witchhunt I'd slowly back away and promptly exit in fear of whatever instability is causing these views might escalate into something, umm, weird.

            But that's just me...call me an a-hole if you wish

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Andy View Post
              Maybe Pat or Chris was right and she really was a heartless bitch. I dunno, I think PC was so 1980's, nowadays...??? I think it must be a regional thing with political correctness. If someone came up to me in person telling this tale of a casual conversation that turned into a misogynist witchhunt I'd slowly back away and promptly exit in fear of whatever instability is causing these views might escalate into something, umm, weird.

              But that's just me...call me an a-hole if you wish
              A-hole.

              (Does calling another man an a-hole make me a misogynist? Its so hard to keep up with what society deems OK for me to think/feel/believe/say these days. . )
              "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it." - Edgar Allen Poe

              "If you only know your side of an issue, you know nothing." -John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

              "Even what those with the greatest reputation for knowing it all claim to understand and defend are but opinions..." -Heraclitus, Fragments

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              • #8
                Patrick was right on the button! Someone else explained that trans (especially male to female) can be hypersensitive. I can see that and understand better now. I'm not interested in being friends again with this person but boy do I feel sorry for her domestic partner! What an attitude!

                I'll know better next time.

                As far as politically/socially correct .. it's a sign of respect. I want to be respectful. Don't you guys and if not, why?
                Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by lynnifer View Post
                  ...As far as politically/socially correct .. it's a sign of respect. I want to be respectful. Don't you guys and if not, why?
                  In the US, those terms have a lot of baggage and are used by some as a slur in a way that I hope someone with a clearer head than mine will explain. Watch some Donald Trump. I appreciate a desire to be respectful and object also in conversation that I think lacks civility . Consider the image of Andy's avatar backing away slowly as good writing material.

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                  • #10
                    Respectful yes. I want to be respectful as possible. It pisses me off when people are not respectful to others. Just turned 30 and say yes ma'am and sir everyday. If I didn't or was rude my mother would slap me and I would be scalded as soon as we were alone. That is a southern thing I guess. Being PC, hell no call a spade a spade. The truth hurts sometimes but most of the time if it pisses you off and you back away, you will see the other person has a point. Being nice and respectful in life will get you a long way. It will go a long way In helping the world get along if everyone was that way. Being PC will not move us along as a world. It just spoon feeds a small percentage and doesn't do a damn to move us along as a people.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by lynnifer View Post
                      Patrick was right on the button! Someone else explained that trans (especially male to female) can be hypersensitive. I can see that and understand better now. I'm not interested in being friends again with this person but boy do I feel sorry for her domestic partner! What an attitude!

                      I'll know better next time.

                      As far as politically/socially correct .. it's a sign of respect. I want to be respectful. Don't you guys and if not, why?

                      I don't equate being respectful with political/social correctness. I generally strive to be respectful of others although admittedly I do fall off this wagon from time to time.

                      IMO, there is a fine line between being PC and embodying the very intolerance that "political correctness" ostensibly strives to abolish.

                      Political correctness is a fluid and dynamic concept, difficult to nail down. Bending an individual mind to fit the mold of the group, at a particular point in time, can have net negative consequences on the health of the group.

                      I don't consider it a function of respect, rather of intelligence. Not in the sense being PC distinguishes someone as "smart" or "dumb", but it speaks to the type of thinker a person is in broad terms. Specifically, the distinction between "convergent" and "divergent" thinkers.

                      Converrgent thinkers tend to adopt wider held patterns of thought, obey rules with little question, and play an important role in a society.

                      Divergent thinkers tend to eschew wider held patterns of thought, think "outside the box", and are generally more creative thinkers.

                      Political correctness is the epitome of convergent thinking in socio-cultural contexts. It has a place, to be sure, but it has limits and consequences. As I posted above, it tows a line that leads many people to become so intolerant of intolerance that they come to embody the heart of what they despise.

                      e.g. It has become politically correct to be intolerant fundamental Christians on account of their seeming intolerance. Is this really progress toward a more tolerant society?!?
                      "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it." - Edgar Allen Poe

                      "If you only know your side of an issue, you know nothing." -John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

                      "Even what those with the greatest reputation for knowing it all claim to understand and defend are but opinions..." -Heraclitus, Fragments

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by #LHB# View Post
                        Respectful yes. I want to be respectful as possible. It pisses me off when people are not respectful to others. Just turned 30 and say yes ma'am and sir everyday. If I didn't or was rude my mother would slap me and I would be scalded as soon as we were alone. That is a southern thing I guess. Being PC, hell no call a spade a spade. The truth hurts sometimes but most of the time if it pisses you off and you back away, you will see the other person has a point. Being nice and respectful in life will get you a long way. It will go a long way In helping the world get along if everyone was that way. Being PC will not move us along as a world. It just spoon feeds a small percentage and doesn't do a damn to move us along as a people.
                        Agreed. Relating this sentiment to my most recent post:

                        Studying nearly every "great" individual throughout history reveals a veritable "who's who" of divergent thinkers: Socrates, Aristotle, Buddha, Jesus, Copernicus, Galileo, Newton, Einstein, Ghandi, MLK, Jr., etc, etc.

                        The next great evolution of human thought is not likely going to be a product of the convergent set. Political Correctness is as much a threat to humanity as intolerance itself!! It is little more than "place and time" dependent socially acceptable intolerance, with a thin veil of self-righteousness.
                        "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it." - Edgar Allen Poe

                        "If you only know your side of an issue, you know nothing." -John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

                        "Even what those with the greatest reputation for knowing it all claim to understand and defend are but opinions..." -Heraclitus, Fragments

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                        • #13
                          you all have to much time on ur hands I will not tell u what this old fart thinks what the hey I guy that thinks he is a women is nuttier than a fruitcake same thing for a gal that thinks she a man

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                          • #14
                            So you would be okay if someone called you a cripple? Not me.
                            Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                            T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by lynnifer View Post
                              So you would be okay if someone called you a cripple? Not me.
                              Yes I get called crippled all the time by the older generation. You no the ones they refer to as the "greatest" generation the ones that are not PC. I even refer to myself as crippled. Because that is what I am. I was cripple by my accident. I guess my feelings just don't get hurt like some and that is ok.

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