Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Worried about my daughter

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    i forgot to mention, working out at the Gym for me, is a great way to burn off the stress and depression that always accumulates during the day

    Comment


    • #17
      Does she like to read or watch certain TV programs? If she can find commonality at all.
      Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

      T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by marvin_cr View Post
        does she have a manual wheelchair? At C7, she should be able to use a manual chair a couple days a week. she needs to get a routine going that gets her out into the public. Has she ever thought about joining gym or fitness center. Gym's have came a long way in the 30 yrs I have been in a chair. The gym i go to, there is a quad I have seen many times and several Para's. When I first joined a gym, and for a month or so, no one talked or paid attention, but eventually people wanted to help and talk to me. Now when I go to the Gym everyone wants to talk and I just want to workout. It's a routine now in my life I look forward to. before you would join visit as many as you can. you should also be able to find a trainer that will find appropriate exercises for your daughters arms and shoulders. If she is willing, it will become a routine she looks forward too, she will get fit, and she will meet people.
        Yes she uses a manual chair (which I'm proud of her for doing. Despite it being harder) she doesn't like the idea of using a power chair.

        I got her a gym membership in March of 2014 and I know she went a few times but she gave up. I would love her to go back. I can just renew the membership as it's really no problem.

        Comment


        • #19
          If she had a trainer at the gym, maybe just in the beginning, she may be more likely to go.

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by hlh View Post
            It sounds like she is depressed. And her isolation is not good...

            Is she seeing her doctors? How often? Does she have a SCI physiatrist? A primary care doctor? Does she like them? Are they decent doctors?

            It upsets me very much that doctors are not better about treating depression aggressively - especially in the early years after injury. It is very common, and normal. Some people are severely affected by it, but others aren't. They are doing studies now showing that treating this depression is important for recovery as well as improving mood/quality of life. At our local rehab center (which is a SCI center) they are doing a clinical trial using the anti-depressant Lexapro in SCI patients soon after injury, with some evidence it may improve recovery..... Here's another clinical trial that was just published and shows a good outcome using Effexor in the famous medical journal JAMA.

            http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25607727

            Print this out and give it to your daughter's doctors.... and your daughter. Most doctors are sloppy and don't take the time to address it. Sometimes a medication can be a short term (or long term) solution.... especially for a person that has isolated themselves and doesn't have support/counseling/other options. The best combination is a medication AND counseling. But again, the vast majority don't get this.

            Does she suffer from neuropathic pain? There are medicines that help this pain and are beneficial for mood. Effexor (in the trial above) and Cymbalta are two of them. Sometimes people will agree to start a medicine for something other than mood, even if they will refuse it to treat their mood alone.

            And you need to choose your battles, and realize that you cannot (and should not... ) take over her life. Do not mention her changes in her body/atrophy... there are few things more damaging to a young woman's self-image than critiques of their appearance, and I'm sure she is very very very aware. You also are describing normal atrophy considering her injury. Do not berate her for not "preventing this". Do not mention her food choices, exercise, or even cathing at this point. These are less important and will not improve until her mood does. You will only make her feel worse by nagging. Believe me... I speak from experience.

            Support her. Have her over for home cooked meals. Get her outside in the sun (good for mood). And have her meet Bethanny!! I do love the idea of a service dog....

            I'm actually surprised others on this site haven't mentioned medications.

            Sometimes a call to the doctor expressing your concerns is needed, especially if she has mentioned wanting to hurt herself. Sometimes it will be the UTIs/cathing issues or other self-care issues that will at least get you back into the doctor's office so the main problem can be addressed.... so you may need to let those go until she reaches a crisis. Meanwhile, just give her love and support like you have......
            I actually just went out to breakfast with her today and had more of an opportunity to speak with her. She seemed in a better mood today though I could tell she hasn't been sleeping from the bags under her eyes.

            I didn't mean to mention her atrophy or seem like I was criticizing it, I just hate to see her physically deteriorate.

            Her doctors won't talk to me because of her age. I would need permission from her to speak to them. I have called a mental health organization on her behalf before when she was threatening suicide and they came to speak with her but there wasn't much they could do as they as she didn't display enough of the "clinical signs" of a mental health disorder.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by Elaine1965 View Post
              We live within Wellington county.

              She is a loner mostly. That has always been a staple of her personality.

              She he has never really had significant "hobbies" and her interests are unknown as she never mentions any. I believe she just goes through the motions of life rather than participating or enjoying anything in particular which is why I strongly believe she has I diagnosed clinical depression. Perhaps some even before her SCI as her personality has always been slightly indicative of such.
              If she was a loner before her injury she may have an autism spectrum disorder. But hanging a label on her is not going to solve the problem. One way or another depression is likely a factor. She probably can benefit from being pushed a bit. Do you do things like shopping with her? Take her to lunch or dinner if that fits your schedule. Do whatever you can to get her back into mainstream activities. Because she will not initiate activities you will have to be a bit assertive. Having a dog or pet is very therapeutic for some people. However, the risk of trying that is ending up with a neglected animal. Has she ever had a pet before that might give you a sense of how she might react to that idea? Bring up the idea and she how she responds. In the end, she is going to have to develop socialization skills. She will not be able to get by for the long term if she is not able to build and manage a support system. Above all take care of yourself. Don't try to fight the battle alone.
              You will find a guide to preserving shoulder function @
              http://www.rstce.pitt.edu/RSTCE_Reso...imb_Injury.pdf

              See my personal webpage @
              http://cccforum55.freehostia.com/

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by SCIfor55yrs. View Post
                If she was a loner before her injury she may have an autism spectrum disorder. But hanging a label on her is not going to solve the problem. One way or another depression is likely a factor. She probably can benefit from being pushed a bit. Do you do things like shopping with her? Take her to lunch or dinner if that fits your schedule. Do whatever you can to get her back into mainstream activities. Because she will not initiate activities you will have to be a bit assertive. Having a dog or pet is very therapeutic for some people. However, the risk of trying that is ending up with a neglected animal. Has she ever had a pet before that might give you a sense of how she might react to that idea? Bring up the idea and she how she responds. In the end, she is going to have to develop socialization skills. She will not be able to get by for the long term if she is not able to build and manage a support system. Above all take care of yourself. Don't try to fight the battle alone.
                She was tested for Asperger's when she was 17 pretty extensively. We drove out of city to a facility where they interviewed her and gave her tests while several psychologists observe her speech and behaviour through a mirror. They came to the conclusion that she did not have it as she didn't have the traits needed for diagnosis. Her voice isn't monotone, she has no obsessive interests, sensory issues and her two way social interaction is normal. It's very perplexing.

                I took her out for breakfast today actually and brought her some pre-made salads and hot dinners she could just microwave.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Cooking classes together might be a way to get her out. Sorry about the situation .. talk about double whammy.
                  Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                  T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    I just don't want her to die which is why I hover over her. I know she can not emotionally manage herself at this time and needs help. I know people will say "she's an adult, let her be" - but I don't think people understand. She may be an adult chronologically but emotionally she is still in her teens. You'd have to meet her and interact with her to see what I mean. She doesn't have any kind of intellectual disability or anything (this isn't what I mean) but somehow she never emotionally matured to an adult level. SCI influenced this to some degree but not all. This is why I wish we could get a court order to look after her somehow (but this would be impossible).

                    I would love for her to further her education (we'd pay for it 100%) get a career and live the best quality of life with an SCI as possible. There are many other successful people with paralysis and I hope she can be one of them.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      If she is/was the sporty type wheelchair rugby could be worth looking into. A great way to interact with others and see what is possible. Plus it's awesome fun !

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        I agree with the post above that mentioned a service dog. dog's love unconditionally and can bring out the best in people. best wishes to you and your daughter
                        pbr
                        The SCI-Nurses are advanced practice nurses specializing in SCI/D care. They are available to answer questions, provide education, and make suggestions which you should always discuss with your physician/primary health care provider before implementing. Medical diagnosis is not provided, nor do the SCI-Nurses provide nursing or medical care through their responses on the CareCure forums.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Sounds like she has nothing to live for right now. But it also sounds like even though you are trying hard to help her survive and improve her life she is still depressed just sitting trying to avoid reality with food and alcohol and not looking forward to build her future. Sorry I do not have a solution on this. I am a high para post 32 years. I know that right after my injury my folks hovered over me so much about the only power I felt was when I would not do what they asked me too. So I avoided reality for a year or 2 post injury but it got old and began to feel kind of a burning in my tummy that got me daydreaming again and my thinking started to be about moving out of folks house which I did and got into a peer group of fellow people in chairs. just sitting talking with peers, especially SCI is so important. Sure 5 even 10 years post I was still depressed and leaving reality on a regular basis but I was also growing up and discovering life and gradually improving how I saw myself. We all have our story to live. On the look back I so wished I had done more of what my folks asked of me but I had to live my own story. Yes my life has had some peaks and valleys but I got through them. I hope your daughter is someday going to look back on this time as something she grew from, not just the pain and suffering.
                          Good wishes

                          PS I would take her to a pets store might spark her imagination because a service dog can be such a help to people who isolate.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            I have an update on everything. At the beginning of 2016 she had a major psychological assessment over the span of two weeks and as it turns out she is one the Autism spectrum (I mentioned two years back that she was previously tested for Asperger's as a teen but it was not diagnosed- likely she "hid" it well). It does explain her mental rigidity and self isolation which we all thought was more SCI related than it actually was.

                            In in terms of her suicidality that has dwindled over the last year. I have not heard her mention it once. She had a lot of bowel issues over 2017 which was severe enough for her to be referee to a GI specialist and these days she is very careful of what she chooses to eat. She is also back living with us so we can help her out more. I would still like to see her go back to school and develop peer relationship but that is not where things seems to be going. Anyway, thank you for your concerned replies in this thread.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Thanks for updating us on your daughter. I wish I had some advice for you but I do not beyond what has already been shared

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                thanks for the update. i have been wondering about her. glad things seem better.
                                T6 Incomplete due to a Spinal cord infarction July 2009

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X