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    #31
    Originally posted by tumbleweeds View Post
    James' honesty is refreshing. Sure beats the hell out of hearing how a life with SCI is all rainbows, butterflies and puppy dog tails if only you'll "accept it". Fuck that.
    When you hear crap like that, That is just the generally followed path, created by rehab Centers using "success stories", garbage motivational quotes etc therefore making it the "right" path. All of it is just premeditated designed generalized procedure made because we have no real medical treatment for SCI. so it's "our" best option, to convince people caregiving, bowel care etc are not undignified. And that you can live a "full" life (whatever that means right, most of times it seems to have an interesting correlation with the participation in wheelchair sports for some reason and that exactly it's Centerpoint there's no real way to measure that, if there was this procedure would not work as there's no way to compare a disability to an able body less is not more, what's broken should be fixed to work optimally etc). Sometimes you just have to get your head out where most people don't want their head to go, generally because it's dark and scary shall I say, or maybe just a little too harsh and realistic. So the more that believe these things, that utilize the adaptive equipment, that "integrate" into "society" without caring etc means successful treatment basically.

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      #32
      Originally posted by Freedom92 View Post
      Alright James, the spotlight is on you. What exactly are you looking for? If you're going to knock down what everybody is trying to say on here, I think this is the wrong site for you.
      Hey man back a Page I said there were about three- four other people in this thread expressing their misery with their injury, feel free to comment as I said. But because what I say resonates with people I think deep down, so they decided to stay fixated on me in Defense.even though I expressed I am who I am, I feel like I feel and there has never been a story I've heard nor person I've met that is a quadriplegic to even put a dent, in how I view this affliction. But anyways no you're wrong, just because I disagree with what people are saying, doesn't mean the sites not for me, there are people on here that commiserate with me and agree with me at times, but in a sense there is a little validation to what you said because most of the disabled people that will agree with me wouldn't be on a site like this. Cure thread brought me here haha and it is a wondrous resource. But I like to provide another side of the coin, my perspective and there's nothing wrong with that.

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        #33
        Think it's time to twist cap a beer and chill on the career of being an analyst. Don't you think we're kind of in this shit together? I roll in a chair just like the majority of the club members here. Believe me, I'd like to stand and piss on the side of an oak tree instead of using a catheter. By all means man, let it all hang out if it makes you feel better.
        If I was meant to have wheels under my ass, what the hell are these legs for?
        http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1455040496

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          #34
          he just wants to say what he said, and keep saying it because it is how it is. if that's the only way he can knock anything down that that's what's going to get done. he's going to knock it down.
          I think on the contrary, this is the only site for him.
          good thing it's still here, and that he is welcome here.

          Iv grown some respect for Imight that I had set aside. Im glad to feel that again. I just liked the way he put it all down.
          for the rest, who gave their thoughts, and encouragements, well, you're all way cool for giving a chit, and trying to help dude out. even if dude doesn't appreciate it now, someone will.

          about giving up. I haven't felt that way in a long time. probably because of the quads, and most others who share their own experiences and feelings. about this and that sci thing.

          some people do give up. a few care cure members have over the years. many more have not given up despite feeling like it sometimes.

          most of my care cure hero's got past some stuff Im not so sure I could if it were to be my life.
          my son is named james. He's an amazing guy and very much loved by many. the older he is the more people love him.

          maybe that's the important thing. who is around to love you, and who you love. family, friends, a pet....... when I felt like giving up, I thought I had none of those things.
          I have them now. so waiting around was worth how hard it was when I felt like giving up.

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            #35
            You've been watching too many war movies. I can assure you every vet and family member of a KIA will tell you it's not an honorable death and we'd trade their "honorable death" having them home in any condition. We honor and mourn their sacrifice but sure as hell not the way they died. Please use some other euphemism describing how you would want to die. You're doing a great dis service to those who did and those who were there.

            By your definition of living after injury and getting on with life; means every WIA who has done that is weak and cowardly.

            For myself, this is the right site for you. We've all gone thru what you are now and are ones who truly understands the pain and frustration of a catastrophic injury. We support each other, bitch at each other and try to help each other get thru another day.

            Your words do resonate James, loud and clear. It's why we are responding.
            Last edited by Patrick Madsen; 13 Mar 2015, 12:49 AM.

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              #36
              Originally posted by Freedom92 View Post
              Don't you think we're kind of in this shit together? I roll in a chair just like the majority of the club members here. Believe me, I'd like to stand and piss on the side of an oak tree instead of using a catheter.
              This is why I check this forum as much as I can. Nobody knows this god awful shit better than we do. When people look at me in public I can see it in their stares... Pity. But that's how I turn the tables because I pity them. I pity able bodied folks that have no clue. No sense of what it means to carry on no matter what life throws in their way. I too lost who I was with, less than three years after my accident. But since then I have tested my mental fortitude more than they could ever comprehend. I don't pity the fact that I have had nurses stick a finger in my ass so I can merely do a simple act of shitting. I pity those who don't know that feeling. One of my best friends committed suicide in college, when I was a biped. People said he was selfish. I wrote a song and performed at his funeral. It was his girlfriend's first open casket. I'm sure it traumatized her beyond words. It's your life, and not to be cliche, but get busy living or get busy dying. Since then I've had more girlfriends and ten times better sex, no matter whether I shit my pants or have an awful UTI right in the middle of a conversation in a meeting. No, I can't feel it (the sex). But just when I didn't give a shit about living someone stepped in who didn't give a shit about me shitting myself.

              Even though she feels that way, I would trade all of everything to be normal again. But that is selfish. That is being a "muthafucka" who has no reason to get back in a fucking chair each morning. I do it because I want what I want. A heroic act that took suffering away (easy), suffer and see how fucking strong you are. I fucking dare you to make a "stand." Nobody, not nobody stands as tall.

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                #37
                Originally posted by JamesMcM View Post
                Never once said it's easy
                did you not write this?
                Being a para is a walk in the park
                no its fucking not a walk in the park, and that was my point. And then I stated I was once a very high dependent patient for 6 months who couldnt use my arms or feel anything, so I know what its like to be bed bound and have to wait for a care giver to get me out of bed, half a year that way, so I have a pretty good idea and BOTH suck ass for their own different reasons. and I adapted to both, made the best of it (thus the story of me buying a ps3 and chillin).

                You think its great I can just do it, I think its easier to have someone else change me. I gave you one accident example, oh trust me, there's worse. that one just happened last month. I have stories for days. Yea I was embarrassed about a nurse changing me and cathing me for about 2-3 months, everytime it was time to cath I killed them and me in my mind 20 fucking times in less than 20 seconds. I just HATED IT. one min Im chillin on the beach in venezuela, chick on my hip, next min I got some old mexican lady putting a rod in my dick. but I adapted to that shit, got used to it. Im like 'YO MARY, GRAB THE BABY POWDER WIPES THIS TIME, THE BURRITO KICKIN HARD TODAY BABY" . dont give a fuck. wipe dat ass girl.

                much like Im doing now....if I were a quad, Id make the best of it. even if its chillin at my crib watching movies all day, chatting online and playing DS. Id probably spend most of my days in a gym with my caregiver tbh. either way I'd find something to occupy my mind. Thats why Ive since up and left my comfort zone.

                Ive been on here for a long time, trust me I used to sulk on here all the time, I hate that rah rah shit rehab centers and nurses try to spew, and to be honest I dont even like chillin with other sci folks, got me feeling like Im on the yellow bus with like 4 other wheelers (ill do it for an event, but its not like I like it), shit looks retarded (no offense). but at the same time, fuck that cry baby shit bruh. despite the fact that I hate looking at myself in a full body mirror in my chair, my heart sinks every single time I pass a mirror, I hate looking at all of you too, because then it just reminds me of how I look. I hate everything about being in a wheelchair, this wasnt supposed to be my life. I should have died that night, it wasnt supposed to be like this. Im supposed to be normal. but you know what, I just suck it up and do what I gotta do. this is life now, at the end of the day, the feeling passes just as I pass the mirror, caring gets filed in the back of my mind, and nike motto, just do it.
                Last edited by Imight; 13 Mar 2015, 4:09 AM.

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                  #38
                  Originally posted by Tman9513 View Post
                  This is why I check this forum as much as I can. Nobody knows this god awful shit better than we do. When people look at me in public I can see it in their stares... Pity. But that's how I turn the tables because I pity them. I pity able bodied folks that have no clue. No sense of what it means to carry on no matter what life throws in their way. I too lost who I was with, less than three years after my accident. But since then I have tested my mental fortitude more than they could ever comprehend. I don't pity the fact that I have had nurses stick a finger in my ass so I can merely do a simple act of shitting. I pity those who don't know that feeling. One of my best friends committed suicide in college, when I was a biped. People said he was selfish. I wrote a song and performed at his funeral. It was his girlfriend's first open casket. I'm sure it traumatized her beyond words. It's your life, and not to be cliche, but get busy living or get busy dying. Since then I've had more girlfriends and ten times better sex, no matter whether I shit my pants or have an awful UTI right in the middle of a conversation in a meeting. No, I can't feel it (the sex). But just when I didn't give a shit about living someone stepped in who didn't give a shit about me shitting myself.

                  Even though she feels that way, I would trade all of everything to be normal again. But that is selfish. That is being a "muthafucka" who has no reason to get back in a fucking chair each morning. I do it because I want what I want. A heroic act that took suffering away (easy), suffer and see how fucking strong you are. I fucking dare you to make a "stand." Nobody, not nobody stands as tall.

                  Well said!

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                    #39
                    I think the point to this tread is. We all need to adjust to our own disabilities. And not look at what others have, because that's not going to help our selves.
                    I really like what imight said, when he said if he had a higher level injury he would become content to watching movies all day. Now I'm not saying that's all you should look forward to. But fine something that will make you content. I bet you could create a popular blog page with your opinions and make some money doing it. Find something you enjoy.

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                      #40
                      Well said RM.
                      My point was that most things are possible if you have the right mindset, regardless of your injury level.
                      There are many that teach us this lesson, Brooke is a prime example- http://www.brookeellison.com/

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                        #41
                        My thoughts of MY 28yrs as a highish quad is that SCI is like a war, we don't win every battle but if we stay fit, and happy we may just win the war.
                        Bike-on.com rep
                        John@bike-on.com
                        c4/5 inc funtioning c6. 28 yrs post.
                        sponsored handcycle racer

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                          #42
                          Originally posted by tumbleweeds View Post
                          James' honesty is refreshing. Sure beats the hell out of hearing how a life with SCI is all rainbows, butterflies and puppy dog tails if only you'll "accept it". Fuck that.
                          If he's being honest, it is only about his interpretation of his circumstances. His statements are not honest in the sense of being objectively true.

                          Whether living with an SCI is miserable, manageable, or meaningful is a mental matter.


                          James,

                          If fuentejps is living in "denial fairy tale land" by coping successfully (as you claim), then you're the grumpy old troll living under the bridge.
                          "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it." - Edgar Allen Poe

                          "If you only know your side of an issue, you know nothing." -John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

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                            #43
                            Hey guys, I can't respond in (terms of quotes and what not) to all of you but Imight, you are exactly the kind of person that I really dislike when it comes to disabilities, probably feel the same about me. My point is if you actually think it's easier to get taken care of and would rather that, you're the weakest person I've ever hear of in my life, that doesn't appreciate what you have, and you think your initial spinal shock is what it is to be a quadriplegic your delusional, everyone went through that, I spent nine months in the hospital, getting sick constantly but trying to recover and you did that would be very uplifting. Not you though you want to have your ass picked and sit around in the chair and watch movies, cool buddy like I said I keep higher expectations for myself and have principles that that's crossing the fucking line of the static, just because I break my neck doesn't mean brushing my teeth myself becomes an achievement, doesn't mean I'm going to change myself to adapt to a lesser life just to survive completely realtor my principles and perspectives. In your last paragraph I feel for you, but most of those things are still achievable for you, like I said I would gladly trade places with you and be more than content with my life just with the fact I had the luxury of hiding by bowel accident from my friends.

                            Patrick, I haven't been on the field you know this, but I do think their death is Honourable nobody likes bullets flying over the head, they swallowed that fear and pushed forward. Ugly, unpleasant I'm sure and I wish all of them survived, I wish I could take there place, I wish I could have sucked the cancer out of my aunt so she could live with a healthy body too But I can't do either. I respect every aspect of what they did life and death. And disabled veterans deserve a treatment more then everybody, the country has what it has because of them. No matter how they died the level of courage they showed overcompensate for whatever happens to their body in battle, to me at least.

                            Tman, I don't know you at all but I disagree with everything you said, whole pitying able-bodied people kind of blows my mind and comes off as really delusional. If You are a complete high quad, without able-bodied people you would do nothing, everything you've done every person that you've met would not have happened. If misread and you're not then good for you. But when I was healthy a nurse picking my ass would not of happened, over my dead body. So just because I break my neck and become a gimp doesn't change the facts for me, I need it to survive that makes it even worse. As I said something people don't find it the degrading, some people even think that they are showing strength and being courageous living as a disabled person, I don't see it, not even remotely, there is no example that I've read about or anything that has changed that perspective. Other than the men and women who have gotten themselves out of chairs, to live independently, that's inspiration to me.

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                              #44
                              Originally posted by Oddity View Post
                              If he's being honest, it is only about his interpretation of his circumstances. His statements are not honest in the sense of being objectively true.

                              Whether living with an SCI is miserable, manageable, or meaningful is a mental matter.


                              James,

                              If fuentejps is living in "denial fairy tale land" by coping successfully (as you claim), then you're the grumpy old troll living under the bridge.
                              And The statements against me saying, these procedures aren't degrading or undignified, I suppose they are objectively true? Haha and of course living as a disabled person is the cradle of strength and courage right? That's objectively true, correct? but don't call me an inspiration, I'm not an inspiration, I hate when people call me an inspiration. And I expect the closest parking lot, organizations to help provide for me, grants to get me education and find employment, Government funding to help me be taken care of etc. I demand these things lol with my disabled empowerment...

                              Everything is a matter of mental matter, interpretation and perspective.

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                                #45
                                I wish you the best James.

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