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  • #16
    I'm of the Get Busy contingent. Certainly, your life has taken a traumatic turn and we all understand the troubles of that kind of shakeup. When a person is left rootless, it's easy to get depressed.

    Take back your life...maybe not the exact life you had before, but something that can be very good. Plan for your future. What do you want to do for your career, living situation or fun? What sort of contribution can you make to the world? Exploring those questions could keep you busy for quite a while. Then, moving towards those goals will give you direction, purpose and satisfaction.

    Figure out how you can get to your goals. As Lynnifer said, accomplish things in small, manageable increments and celebrate each one.

    Of course, only you know your capabilities in light of your SCI and we all need to operate within the bounds of reality. Don't sell yourself short, though. Read through the threads on this site and see the amazing things that people with SCI accomplish, raising families, traveling the world, running businesses, motivating others, displaying incredible levels of creativity.

    Reinvent yourself and let us know how you're doing.

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    • #17
      Thanks to all of you ..... The major problem for me right now is the fact that I simply dont know what makes me happy. All the stuff I loved to do like riding motorcycles , climbing , basketball , (sounds stupid but also women or simply = love!!)I cant do it anymore. I know there are a lot of things that I can still do even in the chair , but ahhh gosh I dont know how to say it. You know I cant identify myself anymore. When I look into the mirror I dont see me. Just see this damn chair. And Im also afraid of going outside because i feel some kind of shame when Im outside in the chair.When people look at me and stuff like that. Before my accident I dont really care when people looked at me. Now when Im outside I just see the looks of others (they probably dont even look but I think they do ) Sometimes Im asking myself if I bacame crazy or not. I was a confident , good looking (lol) young man before my accident and now I dont see me anymore. Do you know what Im talking about?

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      • #18
        Originally posted by KK11 View Post
        Thanks to all of you ..... The major problem for me right now is the fact that I simply dont know what makes me happy. All the stuff I loved to do like riding motorcycles , climbing , basketball , (sounds stupid but also women or simply = love!!)I cant do it anymore. I know there are a lot of things that I can still do even in the chair , but ahhh gosh I dont know how to say it. You know I cant identify myself anymore. When I look into the mirror I dont see me. Just see this damn chair. And Im also afraid of going outside because i feel some kind of shame when Im outside in the chair.When people look at me and stuff like that. Before my accident I dont really care when people looked at me. Now when Im outside I just see the looks of others (they probably dont even look but I think they do ) Sometimes Im asking myself if I bacame crazy or not. I was a confident , good looking (lol) young man before my accident and now I dont see me anymore. Do you know what Im talking about?
        Yes, I do.

        A big part of rehab is getting re-programmed (mentally) for your new SCI'd life. This transformation has to occur or you get stuck and wallow which leads to self-destruction. We weren't meant to live this way but since we survived the burden is ultimately on us to figure what to do with what we have left.

        If you're sitting on a wad then I'd find something you're passionate about and immerse yourself in it. If you had nothing then you'd be facing a whole other reality and my not have the choices you have now.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by november View Post
          Does Canada have anything like Voc Rehab?
          I majored in Psych/Social Work with a minor in Business. I wish you could go back to school, you would love it and enjoy a career in the field.
          Used to ... it was abused so much they abolished it. I remember going to a meeting at age 16 and no one was even close to disabled. It's too bad ... but I'm going to make it my mission to see that spinal cord injuries get free tuition in this country since they can't heal us ... I think it's only fair! Been thinking up letters in my head for the past month .. and how to approach it.
          Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

          T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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          • #20
            Originally posted by KK11 View Post
            Thanks to all of you ..... The major problem for me right now is the fact that I simply dont know what makes me happy. All the stuff I loved to do like riding motorcycles , climbing , basketball , (sounds stupid but also women or simply = love!!)I cant do it anymore. I know there are a lot of things that I can still do even in the chair , but ahhh gosh I dont know how to say it. You know I cant identify myself anymore. When I look into the mirror I dont see me. Just see this damn chair. And Im also afraid of going outside because i feel some kind of shame when Im outside in the chair.When people look at me and stuff like that. Before my accident I dont really care when people looked at me. Now when Im outside I just see the looks of others (they probably dont even look but I think they do ) Sometimes Im asking myself if I bacame crazy or not. I was a confident , good looking (lol) young man before my accident and now I dont see me anymore. Do you know what Im talking about?
            This is every new injury. You're not alone. I remember being afraid to go out as well ... I hated the stares. I still do ... but once you accomplish a few goals that you set for yourself, you simply won't care about them anymore. I promise you that.
            Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

            T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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            • #21
              Originally posted by KK11 View Post
              Thanks to all of you ..... The major problem for me right now is the fact that I simply dont know what makes me happy. All the stuff I loved to do like riding motorcycles , climbing , basketball , (sounds stupid but also women or simply = love!!)I cant do it anymore. I know there are a lot of things that I can still do even in the chair , but ahhh gosh I dont know how to say it. You know I cant identify myself anymore. When I look into the mirror I dont see me. Just see this damn chair. And Im also afraid of going outside because i feel some kind of shame when Im outside in the chair.When people look at me and stuff like that. Before my accident I dont really care when people looked at me. Now when Im outside I just see the looks of others (they probably dont even look but I think they do ) Sometimes Im asking myself if I bacame crazy or not. I was a confident , good looking (lol) young man before my accident and now I dont see me anymore. Do you know what Im talking about?
              Yup, we all go through the same thing. Very interesting going from 'king of the hill' to basically 'bottom feeder' in the view of society around us. Chicks checking us out before...now looks of pity or avoidance. Stereotypes creeping into whatever discussion you might have with someone you run into. Hard stuff for sure, but in time humans adapt to whatever shit sandwich they have been handed in life. I wont get all Pollyanna here, but it does get better in time.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by KK11 View Post
                Thanks to all of you ..... The major problem for me right now is the fact that I simply dont know what makes me happy. All the stuff I loved to do like riding motorcycles , climbing , basketball , (sounds stupid but also women or simply = love!!)I cant do it anymore. I know there are a lot of things that I can still do even in the chair , but ahhh gosh I dont know how to say it. You know I cant identify myself anymore. When I look into the mirror I dont see me. Just see this damn chair. And Im also afraid of going outside because i feel some kind of shame when Im outside in the chair.When people look at me and stuff like that. Before my accident I dont really care when people looked at me. Now when Im outside I just see the looks of others (they probably dont even look but I think they do ) Sometimes Im asking myself if I bacame crazy or not. I was a confident , good looking (lol) young man before my accident and now I dont see me anymore. Do you know what Im talking about?
                WHY? Why can't you do these things? True, you may have to do them differently, but that doesn't mean you have to stop.
                Try your best to move past the attitude of what you can't do. I believe, especially when we're newly injured, we're always told you can't do this or you can't do that, so we end up believing it.
                As far as when you go out; people are always going to look at you and talk under their breath. You'll learn to laugh at that, and perhaps make fun of their ignorance.
                Life's not that bad. I know you'll come to realize that at some point.
                Rollin' since '89. Complete C8

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by KK11 View Post
                  Thanks to all of you ..... The major problem for me right now is the fact that I simply dont know what makes me happy. All the stuff I loved to do like riding motorcycles , climbing , basketball , (sounds stupid but also women or simply = love!!)I cant do it anymore. I know there are a lot of things that I can still do even in the chair , but ahhh gosh I dont know how to say it. You know I cant identify myself anymore. When I look into the mirror I dont see me. Just see this damn chair. And Im also afraid of going outside because i feel some kind of shame when Im outside in the chair.When people look at me and stuff like that. Before my accident I dont really care when people looked at me. Now when Im outside I just see the looks of others (they probably dont even look but I think they do ) Sometimes Im asking myself if I bacame crazy or not. I was a confident , good looking (lol) young man before my accident and now I dont see me anymore. Do you know what Im talking about?

                  This hits home for me as I just turned 23. I really dont care bout the activities i cant do same way anymore. I like challenge and doing something differently dont bother me. Its those things that you do with collaboration of your brain. I love my girlfriend and even tho i know there are things i can still do its not the same. Intimacy isnt how its suppose to be when youre in twenties. Cant imagine what id be going thru if she left me in that hospital single. And this world being all about sex insnt helping either. \

                  I shouldnt be complaining. My nerve pain or burning comes and goes. I am starting school. Will start driving soon. My girlfriend loves me. Experiencing some recovery which floats the little boat i got. Some good news regarding the cure. Awesome family and friends. This is what i hold on to. But im still thinking bout them better dayz....

                  I read something that we would always want more. You cant use your arms you want those back. You cant walk you want to use your legs. I learned so much from you guys on this forum its amazing. Maybe i wouldnt learn what i had without breaking my back.

                  Either way life rolls on and with or without my fucntion back I will always have ups and downs. I will have frustrations and moments of hapiness. Walking or not i will try to go throught this life as happy as I can because its my last one. Stay strong KK11.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by KK11 View Post
                    Thanks to all of you ..... The major problem for me right now is the fact that I simply dont know what makes me happy. All the stuff I loved to do like riding motorcycles , climbing , basketball , (sounds stupid but also women or simply = love!!)I cant do it anymore. I know there are a lot of things that I can still do even in the chair , but ahhh gosh I dont know how to say it. You know I cant identify myself anymore. When I look into the mirror I dont see me. Just see this damn chair. And Im also afraid of going outside because i feel some kind of shame when Im outside in the chair.When people look at me and stuff like that. Before my accident I dont really care when people looked at me. Now when Im outside I just see the looks of others (they probably dont even look but I think they do ) Sometimes Im asking myself if I bacame crazy or not. I was a confident , good looking (lol) young man before my accident and now I dont see me anymore. Do you know what Im talking about?
                    I think everyone of us felt the same way you do at some point. And you already got some really good answers. So i'm going to give you a little advice from another male peer. You need to lose the fear and get some confidents. And the great thing is you have a few dollars. So I think going to a strip club would be really good therapy for yah. Because physically every body is equal in there. It's the wallets that separate you. So grapping the sexiest ladies in there and having their full attention will help you with your confidents outside the club. And it will give you a different perspective on life and people. And in the long run you won't care what the idiots think about you. It's a lot like the first time you had sex. Remember how nervous you were and once you got it. Then it became easy.

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