Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Envy

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Envy

    The feeling crops up a lot for me, especially when many able-bodied family members barely acknowledge you, your abilities and unfortunately your limits. They also seem to never have to pay the piper in their own lives and go merrily on. Any advice?

  • #2
    Originally posted by Tjcpara View Post
    The feeling crops up a lot for me, especially when many able-bodied family members barely acknowledge you, your abilities and unfortunately your limits. They also seem to never have to pay the piper in their own lives and go merrily on. Any advice?
    Change your avatar and stop feeling sorry for yourself. No matter how bad you have it there are a lot of people who have it worse than you, no matter how good you have it there are people who have it a lot better. You just shifted a little bit on the spectrum.

    Comment


    • #3
      Ouch .. but I can't think of any better advice.

      It's important to have a sense of humour in this game. You have to be very confident in yourself too.
      Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

      T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

      Comment


      • #4
        This person has been injured for 20 years.

        Comment


        • #5
          I know it sounded harsh but he asked for advice, it is how I deal with it.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Buck503 View Post
            This person has been injured for 20 years.
            I also find this gets harder, the longer I'm disabled? My tendency to whine has certainly increased, lol. Probably because I've kept it in for so, so long.
            Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

            T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

            Comment


            • #7
              How was your relationship with those family members prior to sci? If it was already distant, just means that's who they are. If it happened due to sci, they either don't know what to say to you, or they don't want to be reminded that BOOM it could be them in an instant too.

              You can't realistically expect them to change their lives for/because of you, everybody gets to move along their own path, and it might not be as merrily as it appears. But it might, but that is neither here nor there, for you on your path.

              We are in a big game of "the Amazing Race", unfortunately everybody here on CC got dealt a big fucking DETOUR, our path got altered, it's up to us to make of it what we will.
              "a T10, who'd Rather be ridin'; than rollin'"

              Comment


              • #8
                I don't understand. If the people around you are going merrily on with their lives, isn't that a good thing? If they don't have to pay the piper (for what, I'm not sure), well they've just managed a miraculous thing. Having others in pain or suffering won't make you feel any better. Put your energies towards making your own life the best it can be and you won't have the time or inclination to wish them ill.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I'm glad that my friends are going Marilee along there way. When they start talking about all the hiking there going to do this summer and what not, I sometime feel what your talking about, but boy would it be really bad if people around me had to think about what there saying in front of me. That would be totally weird for them and for me.

                  t8burst if anyone should change there avatar, its that grumpy guy picture. Just kidding, but I hope that's not how you feel.
                  T12L1 Incomplete Still here This is the place to be 58 years old

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by lynnifer View Post
                    I also find this gets harder, the longer I'm disabled? My tendency to whine has certainly increased, lol. Probably because I've kept it in for so, so long.
                    Ah this is so me! I've been injured going on 7 years and for all those years I just sucked it up and didn't complain. Well now I've got to the point where I feel like I have a right to complain every now and then lol

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      complaining and venting are good things, the issue is when it becomes your default or an excuse not to be happy. many times those with SCI feel as if the world should revolve around them. there is nothing wrong with friends and family going merrily along. happiness is NOT guaranteed in life, suffering is. happiness is a daily choice that, due to our egos, is hard to make. we want things to be easy. but the good things in life are worth working for. so, ask yourself, what are you working towards in your life? at my convocation this year we had an amazing speaker that is relevant to this thread:
                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_w5...&feature=share
                      "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
                      http://www.elportavoz.com/

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        "Paying the piper," if I understand correctly, isn't about wishing anyone ill, but rather speaks to the frustration of not getting a second chance when it seems like most others do. That's the particular cruelty of sci. There's no appeal process. No amount of remorse or making amends will fix it.

                        For me this time of year is especially tough. I sit behind my computer screen with a street eye view of the neighbours walking by with their dogs, bikes, tennis rackets, significant others, etc. I don't even know if it's envy I feel. More like a sad sort of restlessness.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Me personally, SCI f*cking sucks. I do NOT want help. And before this injury, I absolutely loved doing everything for myself. Still trying to get to that point again.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            In my opinion, those of us with disabilities are constantly cycling through the 5 stages of grief. I think you are actually feeling anger, not envy.
                            ____________________

                            "We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."
                            - Barack Obama

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by flicka View Post
                              In my opinion, those of us with disabilities are constantly cycling through the 5 stages of grief. I think you are actually feeling anger, not envy.
                              I love how you put that ... though I call it constant PTSD everyone I meet a physical obstacle that reminds me of my situation. Not sure if I'm correct or not in perceiving it that way.
                              Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                              T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X