Handling the compliments

[Megha]

This has always been a problem for me. How to handle the compliments like "You are my hero", "You are so brave!" etc. etc.

Every time I hear one of these, my mind goes totally blank on how to react. I mean, I am just living my life. Living on wheelchair is hard, but I am no hero!

Tell me, how do you handle all this?

[crypticgimp]

i tell people i am not a hero for living my life.

[Megha]

I tried that. The Response - Oh no no, you are soooo brave. You don't know. I wouldn't have been able to live like you are living.

[Patton57]

Just say:

no, you are my hero

OR

then we're both brave because I wouldn't be caught dead wearing that outfit in public

[Patton57]

Seriously though, it isn't worth thinking about. Just put it out of your mind as quickly as possible.

[rdf]

I just say nope, you got it wrong. But those peeps are better than the ones who accuse us of having it easy because we get to have a chair to get us around, and not have to do all that tiring walking and all.

[JakeHalsted]

I don't mind it, so long as the person giving the compliment is sincere. Take for instance, the 30 something blond who offered to help me with my chair getting into my car at the height of the Bush recession. Of course, I smiled, and said "I'm OK, thanks." When she started crying and saying to me..."How can YOU be OK? I lost my JOB! but you with a disability, you're ok?" I mean literally CRYING... "Yeah, I roll with it. But I'm between boyfriends right now girl, so don't get any ideas."

When it comes to people holding doors for me, or whatever, it pissed me off a bit. But I just tell myself I'm a Christian and I need to let THAT person go to Heaven. Also, if my injury had been two levels higher, I WOULD need help. So dig it

[JakeHalsted]

Oh by the way...I DO think we are braver than THEY are. We're just more modest about it

[Patton57]

If someone says those things you could just say "you mean like Superman?".

[JakeHalsted]

I LOVE it

If someone says those things you could just say "you mean like Superman?".

[SCIfor55+yrs.]

Hero, no. Survivor, yes. I just roll with the punches. To me heros are people who knowingly put their well-being or life in harms way to spare others from harm.

If I were a hero why didn't someone give me a medal or a plaque? lol If anyone deserves a medal it is my wife.

I wrote my autobiography for my family and friends to dispel the notion That I am a hero.

[My395]

I just say "thank you" or "thanks" and keep moving along.

[Oddity]

When it seems condescending or less than sincere, I paraphrase a line from Jen's TED talk: "I even managed to get out of the house with matching socks today. What an inspiration!"

[willingtocope]

In the original "Bedazzled", with Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, Dudley (as Stanley Moon) asks Cook (as the Devil) how come he left heaven.

Cook climbs up on a mail box and says, in effect, "dance around and adore me...tell me how great I am".

Moore does that for a few minutes..."you're so good, you're so great, sunsets are realy great...". Then he says, "Here, I'm getting bored with this...let's trade places". Cook says,"Exactly".

So, depending on my mood and the perceived sincereity of the person offering the compliment...that's usually my answer.

"Glad you think so...let's trade places".

[Tim C.]

When it comes to living with SCI, there are no heroes, not the afflicted, not the family or friends of, unless of course you were a bonafide son of a bitch (somehow I doubt Mr SCI55 has been anything other than a sweetheart since day 1). Am I a hero in the sense that those buried in Normandy are? No way. I was guilty of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
In fact, should there be a need for volunteers to test a proposed cure therapy, and I pass it up in favor of remaining a bystander, well then I just may feel the opposite of "hero". Anyone that contributes to the elimination, and prevention of this horrible condition is good in my book.