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  • #16
    To Zilla, I can imagine how you felt. I'm certain it was no reflection on your appearance, but a thoughtless assumption on her part.

    Once, my large family had traveled to a reunion. I was checking into the motel with my dad and the clerk thought we were married! I was of a young enough age to be totally offended but my dad thought it was a hoot!

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    • #17
      My Dad and I got that too, truly. I was given an off base pass the night before graduation from basic training like all who had family coming. We were also told to wear the civilian clothes that most of us arrived in so our dress uniforms were ready to go the following day. So off to dinner with my Mom and Dad and then Mom went to bed early and Dad and I hit the hotel bar. After a few minutes I knew something was weird about the people at the bar. Dad saw me look up that way and asked if one was my DI. No, but he got that weird feeling too. Anyhoo..soon I headed to the ladies room and had to go by the bar on my way out. When I came back I guess my trying not to laugh didn't escape Dad. "What's up?" When you went to Mobile or NOLA on leave you ever run into Shore Patrol? He looked at them and "MPs? But they're not in uniformmm....hhmmmm. OH!" LOL Undercover cops and CID and other LEOs are known for wearing cheap shoes with suits. We both cracked up. When I went back the following morning at 5am my DI asked how my night off was and "fine, other than my Dad was mistaken for being a john. My john." The DI laughed and asked where we stayed. He actually said something about passing that up the chain because the rather nice Ramada Inn back then was not on any off limits list or known among the cadre as that kind of place.

      Zilla, was she perhaps joking? I asked a few questions once and was referred to as Dr Sue.
      Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

      Disclaimer: Answers, suggestions, and/or comments do not constitute medical advice expressed or implied and are based solely on my experiences as a SCI patient. Please consult your attending physician for medical advise and treatment. In the event of a medical emergency please call 911.

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      • #18
        She absolutely was not joking, and my son was not along. And if Chad had two functioning legs, she 100000% would have seen me as his wife. It was because he is in chair that she assumed I was his mother. Bitch.
        Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

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        • #19
          Originally posted by zillazangel View Post
          She absolutely was not joking, and my son was not along. And if Chad had two functioning legs, she 100000% would have seen me as his wife. It was because he is in chair that she assumed I was his mother. Bitch.
          yup. how did the surgery go?
          "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
          http://www.elportavoz.com/

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          • #20
            Originally posted by crypticgimp View Post
            yup. how did the surgery go?
            He can see 20/20 in both eyes and the world is in vivid color!!!! He is absolutely THRILLED.
            Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

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            • #21
              Grrr!...jesus, that is just breathtaking. What a thing to say...

              What we see here is a perfect example of what gives me the shits about SOME people who work in the health care industry. It's funny how nursing, doctoring, surgerying etc. seems to attract THE most mentally and socially challenged people in society.

              Besides the few sociopaths who never had the good sense to avoid doing anything illegal and now languish in prisons it seems to me that the best place to view sociopathic behaviour is in our hospitals and surgeries. I'm not talking about the patients, which is frightening.
              "The problem with self improvement is knowing when to quit." "Diamond" David Lee Roth.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by TheRainman View Post
                Maybe chad looked really young that day.
                No, he didn't.
                Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by zillazangel View Post
                  She absolutely was not joking, and my son was not along. And if Chad had two functioning legs, she 100000% would have seen me as his wife. It was because he is in chair that she assumed I was his mother. Bitch.
                  I'd write the hospital and tell them to add sensitivity training about disabled/caregiver issues to their EO training. No excuse on this one.
                  Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

                  Disclaimer: Answers, suggestions, and/or comments do not constitute medical advice expressed or implied and are based solely on my experiences as a SCI patient. Please consult your attending physician for medical advise and treatment. In the event of a medical emergency please call 911.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Most hospitals have a patient advocate or ombudsman who's sole job is to sort out issues and ensure the proper corrections in training, care, and attitudes are addressed.

                    What we see here is a perfect example of what gives me the shits about SOME people who work in the health care industry. It's funny how nursing, doctoring, surgerying etc. seems to attract THE most mentally and socially challenged people in society.

                    Besides the few sociopaths who never had the good sense to avoid doing anything illegal and now languish in prisons it seems to me that the best place to view sociopathic behaviour is in our hospitals and surgeries. I'm not talking about the patients, which is frightening.
                    I have to disagree, though I am very sympathetic to your perception. I do fully agree that a hospital is full of less than ideal behavior.

                    Most people who choose healthcare as a profession are dedicated and honestly want to help. However, they are almost always overworked and most of the lower level positions are barely paid a living wage. On top of that, people rarely are at their best when they need help at a hospital. Pain and frustration make it hard to be the best "customer" of the hospital, and being constantly exposed to the misery and unhappiness can make it all to easy for the providers to slip into a detached state of mind to preserve their own sanity.

                    I worked as a liaison at a hospital. Being both an insider and an outsider gave me a unique view of the big picture. I have experienced plenty of burned out or arrogant providers, but I have also seen the quiet dedication that so many people put in.

                    Next time you are a patient or a visitor, try to thank the person who comes by to empty the trash, or smile at the harried person at the help desk fielding non-stop calls and questions. The simple kindness that we give them helps them stay strong for the patients who are in too much pain to be reasonable.
                    Played with bombs- No SCI, Brain Damage enough that I require a chair and a caregiver.

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                    • #25
                      The surgery went well, that's what counts.
                      Tom

                      "Blessed are the pessimists, for they hath made backups." Exasperated 20:12

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by TomRL View Post
                        The surgery went well, that's what counts.

                        My guess is that the receptionist looks at so many people and glanced up at you while putting your information in
                        While I understand why this would feel like an insult, we all know you do not look like Chad's mother and it was surely an honest mistake.

                        Glad the surgery went well. I had some complications with my second eye which were a real pain and have since had secondary cataracts on both eyes and now a macular pucker.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by LindaT View Post
                          My guess is that the receptionist looks at so many people and glanced up at you while putting your information in
                          While I understand why this would feel like an insult, we all know you do not look like Chad's mother and it was surely an honest mistake.
                          I used to believe in this theory too. Give them the benefit of the doubt.

                          However, after dealing with these remarks through the years, I've come to realize there's a good chance they're not making an honest mistake. They're simply seeing a dude in a chair; excuse me, wheelchair, so certainly he's "special and needs help.
                          Sorry, I think that's what it comes down to.
                          Rollin' since '89. Complete C8

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                          • #28
                            [QUOTE=zillazangel;1672294]So today Chad had cataract surgery, and the person checking us in asked which arm he wanted his arm band on. Chad said either one, and so the lady looked straight at me and said "Mom? Which arm?".


                            I would never admit this or put it in a public forum. You are liable to get "The Mom" nick name round here.

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                            • #29
                              As I have read responses to this thread, I thought about how some couples refer to one another as "Mother," "Mom," "Daddy." My mother used to refer to my dad as "Daddy." Maybe this reference came from this clerk's life experience and there was nothing more than that going on in this instance.

                              All the best,
                              GJ

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Crappler View Post
                                I used to believe in this theory too. Give them the benefit of the doubt.

                                However, after dealing with these remarks through the years, I've come to realize there's a good chance they're not making an honest mistake. They're simply seeing a dude in a chair; excuse me, wheelchair, so certainly he's "special and needs help.
                                Sorry, I think that's what it comes down to.
                                This is exactly it. It was not an honest mistake. She simply assumed that someone "like him" (high quad) could never be married. She never got past the chin propelled wheelchair to actually think for a second.

                                When Chad corrected her (forcefully), saying "She's my WIFE", she looked up and said "she's your wife??" in a shocked tone, that reinforced that it was not just casual mistake. She literally could not imagine someone in a chair had a wife.

                                I am going to write the hospital. This has just really pissed me off.
                                Last edited by zillazangel; 03-24-2013, 06:22 PM.
                                Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

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