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    #31
    Was on a cruise with my wife a cooue of years ago. While waiting to get into a show a lady asked me "What am I supposed to call you people." I replied "Handsome." What can ya do, I'm sure she meant well.

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      #32
      I don't think what they say is that mportant. My reaction to it does seem to be a barometer of how thick my skin currently is though.

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        #33
        Most of those bs comments I can shine right on. Asking if you get SSI is WAY out of line, and what I'm ranting about. Maybe I'm oversensitive but I think that's ppl assuming you're a leech on society.

        At best, it is wayyyy inappropriate to ask strangers about their income!
        Blog:
        Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

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          #34
          Cryptic, you're right, I've always been white. I just assumed OG had been injured longer, was better at it and had really good manners.

          My mom was in a chair since I was 23 so I've been kind of aware of disability. She had a brain injury tho. She'd have ripped those bad employees a new one. Of course, she was always white too.

          How does it play out if the bad employees at the hospital are also black? Would OG have likely remained unbelievably polite? (I don't recall the race of the gum chewer or the XRT to be honest. Probably white I guess.)
          Blog:
          Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

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            #35
            Originally posted by Wesley View Post
            the comments don't bother me. What I can't shake is the look that some (I think) Middle Eastern, South Asian shopping tourists give me at the megamall. It's a combination of contempt and revulsion. They have no problems staring.

            I'm no brad pitt, but geeze. I avoid going there when it's busy and full of bargain hunting foreigners. I know I should have a thicker skin, gimp 101 is just get on with your life. But, I'm still going to avoid being uncomfortable if I can help it.
            This is interesting b/c I remember noticing in ChinatownNYC years ago-they didn't stare. I think Hockenberry said he noticed it in parts of the word where life is tougher...they know shit happens. It doesn't surprise or intrigue them b/c they're more accustomed to things going wrong and ppl getting hurt.


            I remember an Indian girl here saying she is not marriage material in India. Just like damaged goods or something. (Has anyone heard from shwetarose? I always liked her.)
            Blog:
            Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

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              #36
              Originally posted by SequinScandal View Post
              I really want a shirt that says Yes My Pussy still works so we can get that question out the way quickly.
              I have a severely neglected blog w/ a post on this topic. I even have a photo of the T-shirt! (For guys, though.)

              http://elder-flowr.livejournal.com/1141.html

              I think a "Yes my pussy still works" T shirt might be startling. But I'm really old. Maybe you should get one made, wear it and report back!?

              When I first got hurt I wanted a shirt that said "Keep staring. I might do a trick!"

              Back then my equally old friend thought that was borderline-offensive to the poor AB stare-ers. I'm going to tell her about your T-shirt idea. I bet that will shock her to the core LOL.
              Blog:
              Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

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                #37
                Originally posted by betheny View Post
                I have a severely neglected blog w/ a post on this topic. I even have a photo of the T-shirt! (For guys, though.)

                http://elder-flowr.livejournal.com/1141.html

                I think a "Yes my pussy still works" T shirt might be startling. But I'm really old. Maybe you should get one made, wear it and report back!?

                When I first got hurt I wanted a shirt that said "Keep staring. I might do a trick!"

                Back then my equally old friend thought that was borderline-offensive to the poor AB stare-ers. I'm going to tell her about your T-shirt idea. I bet that will shock her to the core LOL.
                lol man i want a shirt that says that!
                "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
                http://www.elportavoz.com/

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                  #38
                  One thing that really gets under my skin is the "Thank you for your service" that gets tossed out with just as much thought and feeling as "good morning, how can I help you?"

                  Look, I don't mind if you are curious, that's to be expected, especially if you haven't encountered someone like me before. If you can put up with my stammering, I'll gladly talk. But don't patronize me. I will always do my best to answer honest questions, especially from kids, but I'm going to tailor my answers to what I think you can handle. Kids, civilians, and vets all get different answers. And I'm still not going to open up unless I think you understand.

                  And yet... I'm guilty of putting the issue forward. Because I don't want to deal with explaining why I am no longer running (literal use) with a smile and passing out meaningless pleasantries myself, I have made a habit of making my vet status obvious. Things like purple heart plates, or by byline - "played with bombs" is pretty self evident. Small things, but enough to make me just as culpable in generating that meaningless phrase. I know it's a defense mechanism and I should expect the normal reaction I get, it's a reaction that the majority of people in our country have been ingrained to use.

                  Doesn't mean it doesn't bug me. I may be capable of thinking logically, but my emotions are not logical. I just try to be like the patient kid that Bethany mentioned and stay polite.

                  I think, like most of us, I have some stock answers that I toss out without any more thought than the phrases that bug me that people say to me. Probably the one I use the most is in reaction to "are you ok?" I just say "normal for me" unless I do need help.
                  Played with bombs- No SCI, Brain Damage enough that I require a chair and a caregiver.

                  Comment


                    #39
                    Originally posted by crypticgimp View Post
                    always interesting when the white privilege gets taken from you sharply and you get to experience the other side. welcome to the minority!!!
                    ableism and white privilege share many of the same qualities. when you were able bodied, you think very little/seldom of those who couldnt walk. it was always assumed you could; you could get into any place of business without even a thought as to if it was possible. every now and then you'd think about the disabled, but soon were back to your routine. same with whit privilege.

                    the reason why that black guy was able to just breeze through and simper is because HE'D BEEN DOING IT ALL HIS LIFE. it's called shuffle and shine. every black kid, especially if you're male, knows how to do this since the time that you come out of the womb. and it doesnt matter if some ignorant white person says some bs, you learn to suck it up, deal and if you had to correct them, you be as polite as possible just like the black guy reminding them that he's a quad.

                    the same ignorant shit said about ppl with disabilities is the same shit minorities have had to suffer through since they decided to enslave us and make up shit to justify their actions.

                    humanity has a slow learning curve. hope one day we can actually have equality.
                    Being an "inspiration" is the same as "being a credit to your race."

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                      #40
                      Originally posted by ancientgimp View Post
                      Being an "inspiration" is the same as "being a credit to your race."
                      exactly!!! same shit wrapped up in a dif package and no one wants to realize it.
                      "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
                      http://www.elportavoz.com/

                      Comment


                        #41
                        Originally posted by betheny View Post
                        When I first got hurt I wanted a shirt that said "Keep staring. I might do a trick!"

                        Back then my equally old friend thought that was borderline-offensive to the poor AB stare-ers. I'm going to tell her about your T-shirt idea. I bet that will shock her to the core LOL.
                        I actually have a shirt that says this very thing. I wear it when I go to the gym. I love being the center of everyone's attention because I can 1. Lift weights, 2. Do the armbike and 3. got there all by myself. I realize ABs are trying to make themselves feel more comfortable, but in the process it makes me feel like throwing them across the room.

                        My favorite is when my husband (who is also in a chair) and I are wheeling in the mall and someone says who is winning the race? Really...I feel like saying back to them I do not know...who is winning the race between you and your husband? Why is it when two disabled people are together, people find the need to comment on it? I know I have to have a thick skin and I laugh it off...but really...it is annoying to say the least.
                        "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot nothing's going to get better. It's not." - Dr. Seuss

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                          #42
                          Sometimes people really gawk at Dave driving his chair with sip n puff. Usually they are just curious. He says hello and sometimes has a nice conversation.

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                            #43
                            Comment: "Nice to see you out."
                            Reply: "Good lawyer"!

                            Question: "Why are you in that wheelchair?"
                            Reply: "It's the best one I have."

                            Question: "What's wrong with you."?
                            Reply: "My poor impulse control and violent nature."
                            Foolish

                            "We have met the enemy and he is us."-POGO.

                            "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it."~Edgar Allan Poe

                            "Dream big, you might never wake up!"- Snoop Dogg

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                              #44
                              For a while post rebuild #2 I was on wheels. So tooling through Chicago airport in a crap temp ste of wheels and was overtaken by a group of about 20 kids all on wheels going to a ??. They're at the gate with me having a gas! Wheelies, slalom races, teachining me wheelies. The energy.

                              So some fuck comes up to me assuming I'm their chaperone or something and says I should get these kids under control, with these antics they could seriously get hurt!

                              I said WTF, get hurt? maybe break their fool necks and end up in a wheelchair or something. kids laughed I laughed he harrumped away like DUH?


                              Same trip I got caught in serious snow and had to get back to my hotel, got dumped going off a curb I couldn't see, laying in the snow and slush can't right the chair, can't get up and some guy comes up and say whoa dude you okay you been layin there like 5 minutes AAARRGGGGHHH so i said no man i'm fine when the plow comes back it'll toss me back into the chair turn us right side up and I'll be off. long silence then he says you're joking right? at which point a few folks come over and help me while this stoner watches.

                              ket
                              Kindly,

                              The Ketamine Kitty

                              All the tears, all the pain, all the rage through the night (apolgies to the rewrite) RR

                              Next time I die make sure I'm gone,
                              don't leave 'em nothing to work on JT

                              And I ain't nothin but a dream JM

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                                #45
                                Originally posted by bollefen View Post
                                For a while post rebuild #2 I was on wheels. So tooling through Chicago airport in a crap temp ste of wheels and was overtaken by a group of about 20 kids all on wheels going to a ??. They're at the gate with me having a gas! Wheelies, slalom races, teachining me wheelies. The energy.

                                So some fuck comes up to me assuming I'm their chaperone or something and says I should get these kids under control, with these antics they could seriously get hurt!

                                I said WTF, get hurt? maybe break their fool necks and end up in a wheelchair or something. kids laughed I laughed he harrumped away like DUH?


                                Same trip I got caught in serious snow and had to get back to my hotel, got dumped going off a curb I couldn't see, laying in the snow and slush can't right the chair, can't get up and some guy comes up and say whoa dude you okay you been layin there like 5 minutes AAARRGGGGHHH so i said no man i'm fine when the plow comes back it'll toss me back into the chair turn us right side up and I'll be off. long silence then he says you're joking right? at which point a few folks come over and help me while this stoner watches.

                                ket
                                You should make a UTube about things people say to people in pain.
                                2012 SCINetUSA Clinical Trial Support Squad Member
                                Please join me and donate a dollar a day at http://justadollarplease.org and copy and paste this message to the bottom of your signature.

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