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Shit people say to the disabled

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    Don't think I've posted this, this is more non verbal communication and just kind of funny. Shortly after my accident I was outside my house getting on a Metro Mobility van. My neighbor was outside and saw me and waved. I waved backed with my quad fist. My neighbor seeing my fist, closes his hand into a fist and gave like a "right on" type fist shake. I got a little laugh out of it.

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      When using a manual wheelchair and a random stranger tells you that you need to get an electric/powered wheelchair.

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        I think the strangest thing is not what people say, but being patted on the head, or someone leaning on your chair while waiting in line somewhere. I hardly ever use my wheelchair, but that has happened almost every time.

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          I have started emulating my hero Brian and now just cath into the urinal if the HC stall is full. Did it at work last week, it was awesome to see the guys face when he came out of the stall. As for basically this whole thread I am with you Stephen, people say stupid shit, sometimes because they are asses, sometimes because they are trying to be funny, sometimes because they are just stupid. If it tweaks you out, it is more on you than them.

          Oh yeah and Donno is fucking hilarious.

          Originally posted by stephen212 View Post
          I'm largely immune to people's questions and comments, not all of which I necessarily find offensive or off-putting. If you get upset by these things -- and, sorry, there is choice in the matter -- you're going to be in for a very long and bumpy ride. People are people and that includes us. Shit is dripping out of peoples' mouths constantly. When are you/we going to stop paying such close attention? When are you/we going to decide not to be anticipating and ready to pounce at the next perceived insult? It's not healthy to be a half-picked scab ready to be peeled raw again by someone's less-than-enlightened or flat-out idiotic remark. Besides, are we all SO sensitive to and SO informed about other peoples' suffering? Hey, not to go full-on Buddhist here, but cultivating self-compassion (first) and then compassion for those we deem benighted helps ease the suffering (ours first, then theirs). Suffering is a psychological add-on to genuine pain.

          Now using the wheelchair stall in the bathroom or taking up the HC parking spot is another matter altogether. These people should be put down.

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            yeah, often its not what people say its what they assume or yeah make some physical action that just isnt appropriate....for me I FUCKING HATE having someone make an assumption and then give me advice based on that stupid assumption....lol, so umm that is what people say??...ah jeez...you get my drift though.

            Oh I get this one: "Can you feel your legs?"...they seem to assume that since you use a wheelchair that automatically means you must be paralysed, well no actually.

            Also, i detest running into old acquaintances or even cousins etc. and having to explain my situation again and again, its like they have the memory of a goldfish and automatically forget. I might print up a flyer I reckon with these bullet points

            *I am now in a wheelchair I used to walk with difficulty, now I use a wheelchair
            *I can feel full sensation in my legs
            *I get hard ons
            *Yes, that is my wife NOT my carer, we fuck often
            *I can drink and am not on medication
            *I am capable of sound reasoning...except if you shit me.
            "The problem with self improvement is knowing when to quit." "Diamond" David Lee Roth.

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              Hey valley...your avatar. Is that the rear end of a Merc W210 E55?...Bloody nice car.

              Aufrecht Melcher Grossaspach...you know what's funny about that...AMG?...it's also (in German) Ach Mein Gott...or as we know it Oh My God...or OMG...lolz. It seems fitting for such a beast of a car.
              "The problem with self improvement is knowing when to quit." "Diamond" David Lee Roth.

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                Wheelman21: I love your comment. I can just picture this scene in a movie! I got a chuckle out of it, too.

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                  I find it's not necessarily what people say but how they say it.

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                    sorry for my poor english

                    Few weeks ago, I walked with my crutches and heard in the backround

                    It would have been better if he had died

                    Now a nice one

                    Airport in India, waiting room with ca 100 people. Airport stuff at the other end of the room shout "Do you enjoy life?" I shout back: " 100 %,- ok 99"
                    Most people had to laugh

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                      It really annoys me when AB's just come up and start helping you, without you asking for, or ok'ing it. The ever popular, "can I help you with that"? Or "Are you a veteran"? "We're you shot"? "How do you go to the bathroom"? "Did you drive here"? "You're lucky you get the good parking spots". "Want to race"? "Can you feel your legs"? "Lets take a walk"? "Can you move your legs at all"? "Can I push you"? "If you can move your legs at all, you are not paraplegic". "You're too young to be in a chair"? "You had so much life ahead of you".

                      I know people are trying to be friendly and helpful, and I'm mindful of that, but they just don't get it. I guess they believe that if you are in a chair, you cant do anything for your self. I like to tell them, "I'm in a chair, I'm not dead". That one usually drives the point home. lol.

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                        Oh they get it trust me, most of the disabled Community doesn't get it, They have forgotten or live in denial.

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                          I was in one of those Motel breakfast rooms recently when a guy, in what I assume was a pretty expensive suit, it looked it, said , while sort of looking my way, made the snide ramark, "some folks heave lived long enough anyway". I wished he were speaking of himself, but I knew he was directing it at me. Now he did not know me, or what has happened during my 75 years, how can such a Jackass make such a remark? But there are plenty of them to go around.

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                            I received this yesterday from an aid "It's so admirable that you make a point to keep your mind sharp."
                            Ugh. I could say the same thing back in different wording, unfortunately I just don't think it would even make an impression. The list goes on and on.

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                              Why is it lack of knowledge or intelligence, to be ignorant to something as irrelevant as the life and ability (which is completely different between each injury) of the disabled? Unless you or someone close to you (and you will be decently involved in their life) is disable there is no logical reason to understand or even be aware of specifics. There are FAR more important, relevant, practical etc things to focus on when your able bodied. Why waste brain space on something completely useless to your life, involving such an insignificant percentage of the population. Your barly even likely to notice a disabled, let alone actually interact with. Especially to the point where that knowledge is necessary or even relevant. Sesh!!

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                                I love this thread!
                                For me, it seems once I got to an age where my grey hairs were hard to ignore, many of the comments stopped. Guess folks just expect an oldster in a wheelchair to be pretty useless. They would flip if they knew how active I have continued to be.

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