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Shit people say to the disabled

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    Originally posted by trainman View Post
    I was at a sprint car race in Knoxville, Iowa once and someone came up to me and said "I'm so glad to see people like you out." I wanted to ask what type did he mean, business owner, college graduate, web developer, speaker, or something else? Unfortunately, the wheelchair seating, and most places, is pretty noisy, so he never would have heard me. I just nodded slightly and rolled my eyes as he walked away. My dad was with me, his comment was that people don't know what to say.

    My favorite is still the one I put on the similar thread a few years ago. In a restaurant in small town Washington state the waitress asked my mom sitting beside me, "Does he drink water?" I was like 17 at the time and was too surprised to have a good comeback.
    We get that one too. "It's so good to see you out". .. ... Ummmm... OK, whatever, as opposed to under a rock? Locked in an institution? This is 2013 people! We never know what to say back either. "Thanks" seems to validate their idiocy, but we don't want to be snarky either as they are trying to be nice in their own weird way.
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

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      person: it's good to see ppl like you out!
      me: yea i got out for good behavior from the psych ward
      "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
      http://www.elportavoz.com/

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        ^^^^

        Yeah. I basically use that one too. I tell them I'm on a 24-hour pass.
        In our world constituted of differences of all kinds, it is not the disabled, but society at large that needs special education...to become a genuine society for all. -Frederic Major, Former UNESCO Director General

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          Originally posted by canuck View Post
          Was in a minor car accident a few months ago (not my fault) and when I told a friend about it she said I should have screamed "I can't feel my legs" I love friends with warped senses of humour who suggest I say stuff that I wouldn't dare say or do.
          Oh man, that would be awesome. I've loved the warped comments my friends have come up for me, but also usually wouldn't have the guts. Usually with them its to say to strangers though, if around friends I'll totally say ridiculous/warped things.

          Once I told the story on a forum of when I was sitting at mcdonalds to use the wifi, and my service dog was laying behind me against the wall. A couple that was a few tables over started saying that Tessa was a guide dog, and so I must be blind. I had been reading and typing, and was not wearing headphones for a speech based program. Someone replied to PLEASE set the laptop in front of Tessa and ask if I spelled everything alright!

          But then I have a friend thats blind, and one time we were chatting online and she was talking about how nasty the weather was, and I said what a beautiful day it was here and I should send her a photo...
          Last edited by ~Lin; 20 Jun 2013, 6:57 AM.
          Board Member of Assistance Dog Advocacy Project working in Education. Feel free to ask me any service dog questions!

          I am not paralyzed. I have a genetic connective tissue disorder with neuro complications and a movement disorder.

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            Originally posted by trainman View Post
            I was at a sprint car race in Knoxville, Iowa once and someone came up to me and said "I'm so glad to see people like you out." I wanted to ask what type did he mean, business owner, college graduate, web developer, speaker, or something else? Unfortunately, the wheelchair seating, and most places, is pretty noisy, so he never would have heard me. I just nodded slightly and rolled my eyes as he walked away. My dad was with me, his comment was that people don't know what to say.

            My favorite is still the one I put on the similar thread a few years ago. In a restaurant in small town Washington state the waitress asked my mom sitting beside me, "Does he drink water?" I was like 17 at the time and was too surprised to have a good comeback.

            I get something like that every once in an awhile about working. And the funny thing its always from someone that's on disability.

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              So I was in line at the local Stop & Shop with a 25 lb bag of Purina kibble on my lap, and the woman in front of me said, "Oh, do you have a dog?" I thought about Bill Engvall and almost said, "Yep, here's your sign.", but I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Weight Loss Diet again.

              I said I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up crippled the last time, But that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms

              I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is; you load your pants pockets with Purina kibble and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

              I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story to say the least.

              Totally horrified, the lady asked if I ended up crippled because the dog food poisoned me.

              I told her no, I had stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

              I've been banned from Stop & Shop...
              Don - Grad Student Emeritus
              T3 ASIA A 27 years post injury

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                I love that story Donno. Did you know that dog food is the perfect survival food? Our kids survival trainer made everyone carry some on all outings because it won't get eaten unless you have to eat. Nutritionally, he said there is nothing wrong with it.
                I have had periodic paralysis all my life. I lost my ability to walk in 2011 beginning with a spinal block, which was used for a hip fracture caused by periodic paralysis.

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                  This is one of my alltime favorite threads! The fellow who did the video of 'things people say to the disabled' deserves an award.

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                    Originally posted by IsMaisin View Post
                    No hands, I just hang my **** out in front and let the gravitational pull from such a massive object pull me along. I just use my hands to steer.
                    From a non-service connected vet to a service connected vet--you've come a long way in the last year and a half. URAH! Love your comment!
                    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

                    Disclaimer: Answers, suggestions, and/or comments do not constitute medical advice expressed or implied and are based solely on my experiences as a SCI patient. Please consult your attending physician for medical advise and treatment. In the event of a medical emergency please call 911.

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                      New one to me. A woman came up to us at bike week and started to tell us about her niece who has a "deficiency". Then just wore the word out. Deficiency this, deficiency that, geez. But then we saw a guy with a T-shirt that said "Fuck you, I got enough friends." I got to get one of those.

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                        Originally posted by baldfatdad View Post
                        New one to me. A woman came up to us at bike week and started to tell us about her niece who has a "deficiency". Then just wore the word out. Deficiency this, deficiency that, geez. But then we saw a guy with a T-shirt that said "Fuck you, I got enough friends." I got to get one of those.
                        Don't you know that you have a deficiency, too? I mean, you're practically related.
                        Rollin' since '89. Complete C8

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                          Originally posted by msummer99 View Post
                          The worst thing anyone can say is a sentence with the word 'inspirational' in it.
                          Ding Ding Ding! The winner of the $64,000 prize is...

                          Bleh, anyway - it really makes me want to vomit when I hear "inspirational" and anything related to me in the same sentence. It's somehow an "inspiration" to people that I'm not an emotional black hole of dysfunction and despair. Somehow "inspirational" because I happen to do the same things anyone else does ("Oh wow! She's pumping gas into her car all by herself! What an inspiration!". It truly makes me want to vomit.

                          People don't get it. It is not inspirational that I choose to live my life. I'm like anyone else - nothing is special about me aside from the hunk of titanium I'm glued to. It doesn't help though that much of the 'community' of SCI folks (and I'm probably going to upset a few of you by saying this) plays up this 'inspiration' thing. A huge chunk of SCI folks seem to be motivational speakers and really play up that whole 'inspiration' thing. So we won't be rid of it until the community itself stops embracing and promoting this aspect...
                          Andria - T6/7 Transverse Myelitis - My Chariots: Ki Tsunami Titanium w/ Spinergy SPOX, Jay J2 Seatback, Jay J3 cushion | 2002 Mercedes E55 AMG, Brilliant Silver, Autoadapt Menox control, hard-wired Valentine 1

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                            When someone calls me inspirational, I usually tell them "so are you". It works best if you know the person a little bit. If there a little older, you can say " look at you so beautiful and together as you age' or " look how well you are doing after that divorce", or look how beautiful you keep this yard, what an inspiration you are. You just get a funny look, and then they go on talking about themselves. After all we are all inspirational in one way or another, just living this life and surviving, and sometimes thriving is a small miracle in itself IMO. Valleygirl, give it a try and let me know how it goes.
                            T12L1 Incomplete Still here This is the place to be 58 years old

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                              Originally posted by ValleyGirl View Post
                              A huge chunk of SCI folks seem to be motivational speakers and really play up that whole 'inspiration' thing. So we won't be rid of it until the community itself stops embracing and promoting this aspect...
                              Actually, most cripples feel the same way you do. There *are* a number of folks who do the motivational speaker thing, but the percentage is pretty low.
                              Don - Grad Student Emeritus
                              T3 ASIA A 27 years post injury

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                                Valley Girl - I agree with you - maybe not harboring any negativity towards others, I usually blow it off and say the things that flying does. But I think I on your lines to myself ( and now with all the internet ! ). Well written.

                                I saw a colleague I hadn't seen in 10 years at the local grocery store and I think that just the fact that I was out made him comment how good I looked. I was just buying some groceries at a supermarket for gosh sake. I tried to tell him how good he looked but he had gained a LOT of weight in 10 years - I couldn't get the words out - it was awkward ….

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