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Shit people say to the disabled

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    Originally posted by Joey_SF View Post
    My Dad is c3-c4, incomplete (sensory).

    1) My Dad had changed his durable power of attorney (prior to his injury) -- so that two of my siblings would no longer have sole power of DPA (their power was lessened, shall we say) and they discovered the change after my Dad's injury.

    My sibling was openly annoyed and told my Mom not to sign anything which I ask her to sign (cuz the two would still have sole power) -- and then to my Dad, eyes open and lying in bed: "I guess that I don't have to worry about YOU signing anything anymore."

    2) My Dad was not informed that the doctors gave him 6-18 months to live post injury. However, he does know that high-level SCI folks over 70 have a 4-5 times higher chance of passing in the first year post injury.

    I wanted to get a very nice wheelchair (such as power) for my Dad. My Mom didn't want to spend the money - since at the time, a co-payment was needed.

    My sibling's response at my Dad's bedside -- my Dad's eyes were closed, but it's not always the case that he's asleep: "Why get an expensive wheelchair? We should do a cost-benefit analysis. Where do you see Dad in 18 months?"
    He is worth the investment! Whether it is 1 day or 10 years I'd do what I could to give him the best life possible. You can always sell it later.

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      Joey, how did you turn out so well with a family like that? Thanks to your dad, no doubt.

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        Ya, really nice sibblings, your dads life is at stake and they are thinking about the buck.
        "Life is about how you
        respond to not only the
        challenges you're dealt but
        the challenges you seek...If
        you have no goals, no
        mountains to climb, your
        soul dies".~Liz Fordred

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          Just heard one of the classics for the first time.. I broke my knee about 10 days ago and am currently an in hospital waiting for MRI results, anyway, I know someone with spina bifida in the ward next to mine so we were going down to get a coffee from costa and someone walked past and said "hey, are you two gonna have a race in a minute?". I didn't have time to think of a sarcy response but I did give him the foulest look I think I could manage. Dunno how anyone would that that's appropriate or funny.
          T11 Asia A after near-fatal bike crash.. Just happy to still be here

          No, I didn't loose my mind... It got scared and ran away!!

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            Some drunk I don't know, when I was out at a late-night club w/ my husband some years ago: "Seeing you like this makes me want to cry."

            Wow. Joey's sibs make us look like angels! What a douche!
            Blog:
            Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

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              Originally posted by Patton57 View Post
              He is worth the investment! Whether it is 1 day or 10 years I'd do what I could to give him the best life possible.
              Please let me quote you. My Dad has told me that he wants "to have fun" and I think that he should invest in fun!

              When my Dad was initially injured, my sibling told me that if he were my Dad, he'd "rather be dead" and he called "all" of his friends and they said "they'd rather be dead." I asked him if "don't you want to be able to say something to your daughter?" (at the time, my Dad couldn't speak and was communicating by blinking). My sibling's reply was that he would just tell his daughter that he loved her and to "remember me for what I was and not what I am."

              I gotta figure out how to calm down -- because I get so angry that I say inappropriate things.
              Last edited by Joey_SF; 24 May 2013, 7:37 AM.

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                Hope you're enjoying your retirement.

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                  Sometimes it's not what people "say", but what they "do":
                  Years ago at a weekend in the country with friends and acquaintences, a neighbor showed up on horseback to visit. Knowing I love horses a friend agreed to get me lifted up to sit on the saddle for several minutes - a first for me and I loved it.
                  While still on the horse's back, one of the group ran into the house.
                  Asking someone later what happened and why she left so quickly, I was told she burst out crying and didn't want me to see her.

                  Ok, she couldn't take it that I would never be a "horsewoman", but it was perhaps the first time I started paying attention to this type of reaction. I have noticed it many times since - 'the reaction without words', and now it's a bit comical to me. Like when you are waiting for an elevator door to open and when it opens and people inside see you in your wheelchair, their startled reaction is like quail being flushed from the brush.

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                    Triumph's elevator comment reminds me of another.

                    Why is it almost every time someone opens the door in to or out of the elevator, sees you in your chair, and then shouts "Oops, sorry!"? WTF does that mean? It's even better when they follow it up with a "don't run me over".
                    Rollin' since '89. Complete C8

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                      Or when you are the only on the elevator, it stops at an in between floor, doors open and the people who "were" going to get on, just stare at you and are completely flustered. I have to talk them in to getting on, saying "it's ok, plenty of room". I've had some say "no, I'll get the next one". WTF?
                      "a T10, who'd Rather be ridin'; than rollin'"

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                        Originally posted by McDuff View Post
                        Or when you are the only on the elevator, it stops at an in between floor, doors open and the people who "were" going to get on, just stare at you and are completely flustered. I have to talk them in to getting on, saying "it's ok, plenty of room". I've had some say "no, I'll get the next one". WTF?
                        Don't you know McDuff that they may catch (as in contagious) whatever it was that put you in the chair?!?!

                        All the best,
                        GJ

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                          How about when a lot of you get in the elevator and you have to go in first (of course because they need to watch over you), and then you get pushed into the corner of the elevator facing your back to everyone.

                          F--- it's no wonder we feel the way we do about people.
                          Rollin' since '89. Complete C8

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                            Try this one

                            "You should be grateful. Some people have it worse than you."

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                              Me...getting into my car.

                              80-something-year-old couple: "Congratulations, young man"..."You got a lot of spunk!"

                              Me... OH YEAH!

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                                Originally posted by Crappler View Post
                                How about when a lot of you get in the elevator and you have to go in first (of course because they need to watch over you), and then you get pushed into the corner of the elevator facing your back to everyone.

                                F--- it's no wonder we feel the way we do about people.
                                It's no wonder you (anyone) feel the way you do about people when looking through shit coated glasses.

                                People letting you get in the elevator first is just simple human courtesy.

                                No one is watching over you - unless YOU feel you need watching over and decide that's what others are doing.

                                No one is pushing you into the corner with your back to everyone - unless YOU choose to go into the corner and not turn yourself around. Since you're going in first, you have plenty of room to turn your chair around.

                                Sometimes, I think ppl with disabilities (generally, folks here) look for ways to villainize the abled-bodied, those "AB" folks, stigmatizing them as some "Other", always feeling persecuted or that Others are out to get them.

                                If abled bodied folks rush to get in the elevators first, not allowing wc ppl to get in first, then the wheelers will cry (have cried) foul how those AB's could easily take the stairs, or better yet, take the escalators, instead of selfishly taking space in elevators and taking up the space that ppl using wheelchairs have no other choice but taking.

                                Then, it's...

                                How dare those AB's not let you get on first!

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