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    #31
    Originally posted by cass View Post
    crypt, been here a long time. yes, this has been tough yr since pelvic pain started in april. geesh, i thought this was safe place to come and say my true feelings in middle of the night when pain has been so bad. now i don't think so. i have very good helper. she comes in couple hrs/day and nobody comes on weekends. i also have few issues w/doctors. so. i take your post to tell me to shut up. i will. sorry. i even looked at my posts over 4-5 pages. i didn't see much there but somebody in pain.
    then you're taking my post the wrong way, unfortunately.
    "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
    http://www.elportavoz.com/

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      #32
      Cass - post away! And consider the source of the bad info she's gotten - you don't need any home but the one you're in!

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        #33
        Cass sorry what you've encountered. It's hard to hear those kind of words!
        It's awful she thinks you need to be in a facility.
        Last edited by Beth67; 22 Dec 2012, 1:06 PM.

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          #34
          Take it with a 'consider the source' grain of salt. I've been finding that the bigger the Zero I encounter, the bigger issue they have with the SCI. I figure they need a leg up for their perceived societal status or something.

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            #35
            Originally posted by cass View Post
            she gets her info from her deadbeat son (my son's dad), who i also have no contact with any more since i don't give him money. i will stay off fb late at night when i am in so much pain.
            No as long as it's just venting ... whew! You are in a lot of pain and at the end of your rope ... that much is obvious. When you start saying goodbye, I get worried.

            Wish you could see the docs I saw in Toronto.
            Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

            T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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              #36
              Originally posted by cass View Post
              crypt, been here a long time. yes, this has been tough yr since pelvic pain started in april. geesh, i thought this was safe place to come and say my true feelings in middle of the night when pain has been so bad. now i don't think so. i have very good helper. she comes in couple hrs/day and nobody comes on weekends. i also have few issues w/doctors. so. i take your post to tell me to shut up. i will. sorry. i even looked at my posts over 4-5 pages. i didn't see much there but somebody in pain.
              I think you are reading the concern of those who care about you wrong. It doesn't mean shut up.

              It means chronic pain can put you in a place where you are not able to manage lots of things. I've been there. It can even inhibit the ability to flip on the TV. You don't realize it but your friends and people who care about you can see. I am thankful a true friend pointed out to me the marked changes she had seen just by my posts here. I knew something was wrong but could not fix it myself. I am grateful for those phone calls she made to me. Her exact words were "I don't want you to think I am out to "hurt your feelings but instead they are out of my concern for you". "Even if you never talk to me again, I want you to hear what I need to say." So began the conversation... At first, I was defensive thinking what right does this person have to hurt my feelings. Then an hour later, I was thinking well she is a Northerner and maybe she meant well and just said it wrong. Later on in the afternoon, she called back and I realized this friend really does care about me and I really needed someone right then to care about finding a solution to the pain that I just could not fix nor deal with anymore. She started listing stuff that I needed to do and made me get paper and a pen then I had to read back the list to her.

              You may not be where I was yet but it scares me that you might be soon.

              I know you have been resistant and vocal about pain medicine. You have to weigh the benefits of pain management against your misery. At least try it to see if it helps some of your misery. Sometimes, there just is no cause other than aging.

              I truly consider you a friend and one of the people I would want to hang out with in one of those quirky music venues you post about IF I every make it to the Northwest. Even if I make it to the West coast it would be worth a drive north to meet up and listen to the music you enjoy.

              I don't always come across in some of my posts to type exactly what I am trying to say. I think alot of what I feel does not get translated with typed words. I try to remember that when responding to others too but alot gets "lost in translation".

              So...since this is the ex mother in law, consider the source. You obviously have been truly a "superwoman" since your accident. Not many people can proudly say they raised their kids on their own when even a huge number of able bodied find it easy to walk away from child rearing these days. If you think she said it with malice then just ignore her but if she truly is a caring person and you have known her to really care for you, then think about what she said. Sometimes people who truly care about you say things the wrong way and it really really hurts. But they say things only out of concern for you.

              When was the last time you truly enjoyed a trip to one of those quirky music venues you enjoy? I can tell you from experience, when my friend asked me the same question about the last time I truly enjoyed anything, I was dumbfounded when I actually figured the answer.

              Chronic uncontrolled pain does this Cass.
              T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

              My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

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                #37
                I'm sorry you've been dealing with pain, Cass.
                I have chronic pain myself.
                Surgeons cut my back open, top to bottom, to put things back together.
                I almost didn't make it.
                Given my injury, life is obviously difficult.
                I'm so impressed with all your accomplishments in life.
                I wonder where it would go, if you continued a conversation with the woman who offended you. I'm so curious to know what her intent was. I wish you could let her know how her comment hurt you.
                Rich

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                  #38
                  when the pain is all you feel remember to feel pain prooves you''re still living. i write this expecting that tomorrow my pain will mean a quiet day and night at home my pain levels are higher than my desire for family and xmas. happy xmas everyone
                  ..

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                    #39
                    oh dowdy, been thinking of you. merry christmas, my friend.

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                      #40
                      Here it is, 2:44am & I can't sleep thru the pain - I can only imagine how you feel, Cass. I wih you'd call me, my friend. Please try to have a good Christmas!

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                        #41
                        Case there's not much I can say that hasn't already been said. Just please try to consider the source. First, she's elderly and obviously hasn't changed her ideas from her own time and second she's family. Sometimes family seem to think they know what's best. She seems like one of those people at the super market that one would comment on how brave or what an inspiration a person in a chair is.

                        I have noticed lately a lot of ab people complaining of every ache and pain. Complaining on how they can't seem to do as much as they did 5 or 6 years ago. I just sit there and listen. It's not that they don't have a right to complain, of course they do. It's just that it's a double standard: if your disabled and complain you're a whiner. If your ab your just stating a fact of life on aging. I think we were brain washed in rehab to not complain or it would look as though we were looking for sympathy or worse yet unaccepting (sp) of our disability. I have come to terms with that double standard years ago. Whether in pain or just having a challenging chair day I'll say in passing, as others would, and not worry what others think. Been on my butt way to long to worry about that. You and I know how hard and long we worked at our jobs. It wasn't easy but we made it look easy.

                        What I'm saying is when you finally hit a certain mile stone in your disability you have to try and let the ignorance of others fade. I know you're in pain and it must be difficult to live with that level of pain 24/7. I don't believe you need to be in a facility. What would that do. You still would have pain.

                        Don't listen to others. You would be surprised on how jealous others are of you for all you have done with your circumstances and they haven't even come close to doing what you did. That's where some of it comes from. They have their own issues to deal with because they possibly feel inferior to your accomplishments.

                        Please continue to vent. That is what cc is here for. The forum is no different than family and friends. Some understanding some not. There's no place on earth that is a utopia where all agree and understand.

                        I hope you have a Merry Christmas and Happy holiday and that your pain level can move down the scale at least long enough to enjoy the day.

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                          #42
                          you have no idea how much your post encouraged me. tried to send pm, didn't work. thank you so much.

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                            #43
                            Originally posted by pararich View Post
                            I'm sorry you've been dealing with pain, Cass.
                            I have chronic pain myself.
                            Surgeons cut my back open, top to bottom, to put things back together.
                            I almost didn't make it.
                            Given my injury, life is obviously difficult.
                            I'm so impressed with all your accomplishments in life.
                            I wonder where it would go, if you continued a conversation with the woman who offended you. I'm so curious to know what her intent was. I wish you could let her know how her comment hurt you.
                            thank you. the support from this community is what gets me thru the nights, like tonight.

                            Comment


                              #44
                              Originally posted by Coleen View Post
                              Here it is, 2:44am & I can't sleep thru the pain - I can only imagine how you feel, Cass. I wih you'd call me, my friend. Please try to have a good Christmas!
                              coleen, thank you. i'm very shy but i should call. i have to get up the nerve....i have trouble calling ppl feel like a pain.

                              Comment


                                #45
                                Originally posted by pararich View Post
                                I'm sorry you've been dealing with pain, Cass.
                                I have chronic pain myself.
                                Surgeons cut my back open, top to bottom, to put things back together.
                                I almost didn't make it.
                                Given my injury, life is obviously difficult.
                                I'm so impressed with all your accomplishments in life.
                                I wonder where it would go, if you continued a conversation with the woman who offended you. I'm so curious to know what her intent was. I wish you could let her know how her comment hurt you.
                                i am so very grateful for the advice i've had here and for the opportunity to vent. i thank everybody who has read/written to me. thank you, merry christmas or whatever holiday you are celebrating.

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