Kids asking about your injury

[darlagee22]

I don't know if this goes here or in "family", but what is a good way to answer a kid you don't know, when they come up and ask you what happened to you? Some kids i don't mind telling them, but some are kind of rude and I find myself resistant to just telling them my personal story when they don't even know my name, etc.

Lately, I have started asking them first what their name is and telling them mine and just being vague at first, like, well if you want to know more about me, tell me about yourself... On the other hand, I feel like its ok for kids to ask questions. I have two sides of me-one that wants to be open and doesn't mind questions and one that wants to be treated like any stranger- you wouldn't go up to them and ask them to tell you about their past injuries...

Help me with my attitude...

[JenJen]

I wrote this on my blog quite some time ago. I hope it's germane to your question.



I find that children are fascinated by my “otherness.” They are enthralled with the adaptive devices I use. They want to know how I manage. Whenever possible, I share my world with them. I let the children I know ride in my wheelchairs – they LOVE my powerchair. I let them operate the buttons on my van that deploy my ramp, I show them how the hand-controls work. I let them work Pearl through “bring it” by dropping things on the floor showing them how to have her retrieve. I show them how she pushes my wheelchair.

Kids see right through my “otherness.” They quickly understand that I’m just a person. A grown-up like all the rest but I come with all these cool toys.

I was zipping through the lobby of a medical building. A mom and her son of about 4 or 5 years old were playing quiet games to pass time. The kid spots me and shouts out:

“HEY! WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT WHEELCHAIR?”

https://jenlongdon.wordpress.com/201...es-of-a-child/

[darlagee22]

I love how my grandkids like to play in my wheelchair, use my reacher, think my wheels are cool and love to ride in my lap, etc. I love kids. But how do I answer the kid you doesn't know me & who comes up to me in public and demands to know what happened to me. I guess I have encountered some rude kids and thats the tough moment for me. The ones who are just curious its much easier...I don't mind telling them.

[JenJen]

I'm not sure that they're rude so much as unfiltered when they ask bluntly what's happened. Kids are naturally curious and lack tact.

I am intolerant of actual rude children; they only earn a raised eyebrow and my best mommy death stare if I acknowledge them at all - in any situation not just "Hey what's wrong with you?"

[lynnifer]

I tell them I didn't eat all my vegetables or drink all my milk when I was young, so let this be a lesson ... I get the startled 'O' from children and a reassuring smile and wink from parents ...

Then tell them I'm joking and tickle them up their spines and tell them mine broke ... kids always want to hang off the back of the chair or touch my wheels or be near to me. It's funny. Must be because we're nearly on the same eye level. I always encourage a smile and wave when they stare. Smiles are reassuring and something universal.

Kids are so funny - I want one! lol

[SCIfor55+yrs.]

Kids are curious and honest. I do as much as I can to help them develop a positive attitude toward disability. How I respond depends on the child's age and the questions they ask. It may be something as "my legs do not work because I had a bad fall," to something that gets into basic neurology. I regularly have talks with kids about disability in the elementary school at the end of the block I live on. I hate it when a child wanders over and starts asking questions and their parent rushes over and drags them away. I do not want them to grow up ignorant about disability like I did. IMO developing positive in kids attitudes is one of the most important things we can do to improve acceptance of us.

[triumph]

The schools must be doing a great job talking about disability as I haven't had a child ask me "what's wrong with you" in years! I used to smile and say that my legs don't work, and they appeared satisfied with that. Also, maybe they don't ask anymore as I now have grey hair - they assume it's natural for an oldster to tool around in a wheelchair? Often they are more interested in the cool wheelchair.
In the recent past I had a parent come up to me with child and ask if it's ok to let child come up close to "see" me. It was really nice....most kids and people just want to stare in an acceptable way, so the mom coming up close was very interesting approach. I always try to give a smile and/or hi to kids who stare.

[Susqu]

Also I like to be age appropriate when asked that question.

For the youngest ones I confess that I'm a mermaid, older kids I tell that I I hurt myself badly and now my legs don't work.

Don't go beyond your comfort level, but try to give them a simple answer that will satisify their curiosity and short attention span.

[ancientgimp]

I find that I am a rolling intelligence test. When seeing a baby for the 1st time I notice some won't look twice but some immediately rivet their eyes on my wheels. These are kids not even talking yet or maybe just talking some baby gibberish. The smart tykes quickly identify a difference and start studying me. When they make eye contact in a grocery or other public place I give them a wave and a smile so that they will know gimps are nice like Kermit the Frog.

[elizabeth422]

I usually tell the smaller ones that ask that God made everyone different and that he just wanted me sitting down and that it would be boring if everyone in the world was the same. For the older kids I actually tell them why i am the way i am. If i catch a child staring i always make a point to speak to them, smile at them, or even talk to them i dont want kids afraid of the wheelchair or affraid of things that are different.

[woman from Europe]

I usually tell the smaller ones that ask that God made everyone different and that he just wanted me sitting down and that it would be boring if everyone in the world was the same. For the older kids I actually tell them why i am the way i am. If i catch a child staring i always make a point to speak to them, smile at them, or even talk to them i dont want kids afraid of the wheelchair or affraid of things that are different.

I love your answer. I don't believe in god but to tell them we are all different is such a good answer.

[momo3]

I go into a fourth grade classroom once a year to talk about me and why I use this wheelchair. I just can't stay out of the schools-a former elementary teacher. I coach volleyball and track now and I have found that I would rather be in the school with these kids than shopping, etc. with adults. The rude kids-I just run over their toes-LOL.

[tooley]

I'll be in an elevator at the mall or some place like that and I'll hear a young one quietly ask his mom or dad "why is he in that thing?", I usually make eye contact with the kid and say "I didn't listen to my mommy and daddy." Exchanging a quick glance with the parent I always leave with the same phrase - "you've got to play safe, child."

The other one is the 9-10 year olds who think my wheelchair is "cool" when I'm waiting on a coffee or in line at a store doing stationary one-handed wheelies. I look at them and reply matter-of-factly "walking is way cooler."

My absolute favorite is babies. They lock eyes and don't give a shit about my goddamn wheelchair. Cheers me up every time, but still makes me miss my momma.

[LindaT]

Tooley, Interesting you mentioned the babies locking eyes with you as the same thing happens with Dave and he gets a kick out of it.
When smaller kids stare he says hi to them or if he does not have a voice that day winks.
Older kids might ask how he is "driving that thing" and he shows how he can tilt back and turn around.
Once during a wait at the clinic he had long visit with a boy of about 9 that had (terrible) fresh scars on his face and a drooping eye.
He asked Dave what happened and then the boy told him about being attacked by a dog with all of the details. The boy said "I guess weird things just happened to us didn't they?"
His Mom looked mortified at first when he was grilling Dave, but told me as they left that he never talks about it.

[Adrian]

I find the unrestrained way that kids ask direct questions really refreshing. They are interested so I answer honestly to (almost) anything they ask but I make sure I am smiling as I do it. Sometimes they just ask "Can I have a go in your chair?" but they are always understanding when I explain that that they could if it was possible for me to stand up and get out of it.
Next time I see them they frequntly ask "Aren't you better yet?"