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  • socially unacceptable

    I am.
    People walk up to me while Im hanging out my fresh tie dyes, Usually a new neighbor. friendly, amazed, .......Here, you can have one.
    really! strange look on their face, Ok, thanks.
    next time they go by, they walk real fast, avoid eye contact, steel fearful glances.

    Is it so weird to be kind and friendly? this has happened many many time. I do it at fest all the time and no one seems afraid of me, or looks at me like im a weirdo. I know I look strange, talk funny, Im not from here, so I don't know their ways, but is it really socially backward to give something away to someone you don't know?
    That is just a tiny example of why I am socially unacceptable. After the try and meet care cure members fail, I think I just give up. I am only safe with imaginary friends, and only if you never meet me in real life.

    its one thing to be gimpy, but socially unacceptable? ya, I am....
    unacceptable.
    Im not even sure I want to try to fix it like I wanted to my entire life. Iv really tried hard. I fail. Im ok though, My cat thinks Im ok. If I had a dog or a horse, they would think I was ok too. that is something isnt it?


  • #2
    I am fortunate to have a few friends like you Jody. They are awesome and make the world a better place.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by jody View Post
      I am.
      People walk up to me while Im hanging out my fresh tie dyes, Usually a new neighbor. friendly, amazed, .......Here, you can have one.
      really! strange look on their face, Ok, thanks.
      next time they go by, they walk real fast, avoid eye contact, steel fearful glances
      It would appear that you are living among some very strange people.

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      • #4
        I'd love to meet you, myself. This would seem to be your neighbor's issue. Come to think of it, it happened to me in OK. I'd be out walking Dingo and neighbors would avert their eyes. Or I'd get butthurt b/c they'd be chatting in an inaccessible place and nobody would offer to help me join them.

        CC members are like any other internet group, totally random crapshoot kind of thing. It's lucky Bente and I got along so well. That could have been a lonnnggg 2 weeks LOL.

        I was sure glad we had insomnia at the same time on Mouse Morning. I went all fight-or-flight lizard brain panicky. You talked me down off the ledge and I'm grateful.
        Blog:
        Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

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        • #5
          Jody, just be yourself. You are more than okay just as you are.

          Unfortunately, there are people who are uncomfortable with anyone and anything they view as different. Many are uncomfortable with kindness and generosity. There are individuals who fear being indebted to another person somehow if they accept a kindness of any sort. Your generosity in randomly gifting one of your shirts may fall into that category for those fearful of anything smacking of indebtedness.

          That's on them, not you.

          Just be you.

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          • #6
            I know things have improved for the disabled in our society over the last several decades but our cohort is not even close to being a normal subset and never will be. By definition, we're not normal.

            I'm pleased if folks are at least civil and treat me like a human being.

            In our capitalism based economy, I've noticed lots of folks not wanting services or to take anything from those that are disabled.
            Last edited by Patton57; 08-26-2012, 06:44 PM.

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            • #7
              A point to ponder, if no two people on this planet are the same, what constitutes normal?

              I am personally proud of my lack of being "normal"-how boring would that be.--eak
              Elizabeth A. Kephart, PHR
              mom/caregiver to Ryan-age 21
              Incomplete C-2 with TBI since 3/09

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              • #8
                Some very interesting answers. I feel a little better.
                I dont know how not to be myself. Have lived many places, and this place I have lived almost three years, and do not have anyone to have tea with, or go fishing with, though the place is overflowing with the most polite friendliest people Iv ever encountered. Im not one of those cling wrap types either, I have a phone, don't feel the need to just drop in on someone or invite myself over.

                Beth conveyed the feeling, and very well too. people make themselves inaccessible.

                "CC members are like any other internet group, totally random crapshoot kind of thing." It's lucky Bente and I got along so well. That could have been a lonnnggg 2 weeks LOL.
                Im sure I would have been stuffed in that corner too. I imagine we would have had a lot of fun and people would want to join in because of that. that is what living at fest is like. People just wander in, sit down, and join in on what ever noise we are making.

                I consider, people are full up with friends the way I am full up with orphaned kitty cats, and they don't have time to add another friend. Maybe because it has been almost three years here, I look desperate.

                I so understood when I got injured, and my friends got scarce. that is life.
                I actually am concerned that I don't know how to behave in a socially acceptable way though.

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                • #9
                  Yeah, I think I'm going to give up on trying to figure out people. I was very social pre sci and now it seems all I do is get ready for the next week. Most of my friends have moved on, thankfully I still have a few but the ones I thought would of stuck around didn't. I had to put my dog down a few months ago and after he was gone I realized how dear of a friend he was, RIP Riley.

                  Wish I could give you some advice but I seem to be having similar issues in the new friends department. Maybe I'll get another dog.

                  I'll be your westcoast buddy....
                  Living the Dream, C6/C7 incomplete.

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                  • #10
                    How often I've heard this same refrain.
                    ICP fest.
                    Riding with 1%er's.
                    Quartzite, AZ
                    not-Woodstock
                    The gay Olympics.
                    The convict clown rodeo.
                    My dad told me when I was little. If we were all the same they wouldn't race horses, cause we would all bet on the same one.

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                    • #11
                      Jody, most people have no idea how to interact with a cripple, and not making eye contact is a good way of not having to. I was 45 when I got crippled 19 years ago, and before that, I could not think of anything to say to someone in a chair - I felt pity for them, and that is no way to start a conversation.

                      I've always been a pretty happy person, so it is no work for me to nod and smile at people I pass in the hall, or on campus. In a big store, I don't even bother unless I see that someone is curious - then I take the time to interact.
                      Don - Grad Student Emeritus
                      T3 ASIA A 26 years post injury

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                      • #12
                        Jody, I'd gladly have tea with you. It would be a delight!

                        Purple Haze, I'm sorry you lost your Riley. Fur babies are the best.

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                        • #13
                          Your good people in my book.

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                          • #14
                            Anyone that likes tie dyes is my kind people!! Just today i about caused an accident aftrr braking to get a closer look at someonesi tie dyes thry had forsale, I fear my story is no different after my accident when it was fact that I didn't just break a leg many just faded away..

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                            • #15
                              What!?!? I'd love to toss a couple of beers back and criticize men on a Saturday evening with you! Or Monday morning. Or Wednesday afternoon. You get the idea! lol We could solve the world's problems!
                              Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                              T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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