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    #16
    Jody, I think it has more to do with them than you/us. Most AB people don't know what it's like to be any other way, and the thought of losing functionality horrifies them; they project that fear onto people with any kind of disability, and imagine that we detest them because they can do things we can't (as they see it). This projection makes them uncomfortable, and they look away: in a word, they feel guilty.

    There was an ad campaign many years ago that featured a model looking into the camera and saying: "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." I think it's something like that, only change the words to "Don't hate me because I'm AB." I'm sure some backward, unconscious people do find us socially unacceptable as a general proposition, but I think most just see us as inhabiting a future they could not accept for themselves - and some of those folks can't look it (or us) in the eye.
    MS with cervical and thoracic cord lesions

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      #17
      mmm tea, booze and crafts! sounds like a good evening to me. some of the friends i appreciate the most are the ones i dont have to say much with and the ones i can talk all day with. just a matter of personality. sometimes ppl use friendliness as a facade.
      "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
      http://www.elportavoz.com/

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        #18
        Jody, are you anywhere near Philly anymore? I can imagine having fun with you like I do with my friends I almost now never see, scattered now around the country and otherwise busy. If you're anywhere nearby, I would love to get together. My sense is that you would be just stellar company.

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          #19
          Jody I LOVE the tye dye shirts and bag you sent me.

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            #20
            I like you!

            I've had similar experiences. It's weird, I've found when I'm just being myself people tell me I'm trying too hard and that I'd have better responses and more friends if I was just being myself. But, I WAS. So uh... Yea. Dunno what to do about that!*

            I'm also 'not normal' and I'm very socially awkward. Social things do not come natural to me as a result of aspergers syndrome. Things that are second nature to others I have to take time to learn. And some people aren't so willing to teach you what you're doing wrong or how to fix it! And when your natural response isn't what is the 'socially acceptable' response it's difficult. I frequently feel like I'm just speaking a different language, and at times am completely unable to translate myself properly.
            Board Member of Assistance Dog Advocacy Project working in Education. Feel free to ask me any service dog questions!

            I am not paralyzed. I have a genetic connective tissue disorder with neuro complications and a movement disorder.

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              #21
              I wouldn't automatically assume disability has something to do with it. They came up to you to begin with, right? I would bet most of them just feel like they owe you something now, or you are going to ask for something in return at some point.

              Don't let it bother you. People are strange, but at least now the people you've met aren't strangers.

              I don't think you need to be told this - keep being you, there's no one else that wants the job.

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                #22
                Originally posted by tooley View Post
                I wouldn't automatically assume disability has something to do with it. They came up to you to begin with, right? I would bet most of them just feel like they owe you something now, or you are going to ask for something in return at some point.

                Don't let it bother you. People are strange, but at least now the people you've met aren't strangers.

                I don't think you need to be told this - keep being you, there's no one else that wants the job.
                Yes, exactly I think you hit it right with what you said. Also any kind of disability can produce social isolation, that is a fact, it has been that way throughout history it is just the nature of the human beast. SCI can produce a very lonely experience unless you really approach things in the exact right way.
                "Life is about how you
                respond to not only the
                challenges you're dealt but
                the challenges you seek...If
                you have no goals, no
                mountains to climb, your
                soul dies".~Liz Fordred

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                  #23
                  I don't think that is socially unacceptable to give things to people at all. I've done it. I'd like to think we all have done it. For me, I give because I have been given to. When, I give it reminds me of all the kindess there is out there and to be thankful for it. I don't ever want to forget that. When I hear about you or someone else out there who gives, it makes me smile, because I know that you see that too. Please, don't beat yourself up over who you are. If someone scowls at you or is just plain rude, I think it is because they don't understand. You have nothing to feel badly about. Just stay true to who you are, and people will see that eventually.

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                    #24
                    Foolish

                    "We have met the enemy and he is us."-POGO.

                    "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it."~Edgar Allan Poe

                    "Dream big, you might never wake up!"- Snoop Dogg

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                      #25
                      Human beans are funny creatures - it can be fun and yet disheartening sometimes trying to figure them out !
                      Never you mind what or why 'bout them folks - from my interactions with you here I think you're a peach and like many others here would love love love to share a cuppa or a glass of vino with you - we can be socially awkward together.
                      I wear tie-dyed often - in fact one of Bill's friends calls me "moonbeam" cause he thinks I'm a little out there - it's all good - I am actually a little more than a little "out there" - ha ! I've always gravitated toward peeps who are different - life's a box of chocolates and so are the people living it !

                      we luv u jody
                      Obie

                      Here's a little tune to go with FO's pic - it was my anthem back then -

                      Last edited by Obieone; 27 Aug 2012, 9:55 AM. Reason: Just a little fix up!
                      ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


                      " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
                      Jane Siberry

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                        #26
                        Hi Jody Good Morning My Friend
                        you know I feel much like you ,awkward
                        you are more than a friend to me many times in our phone conversations you lighten me up and make me feel Better Ty for that
                        And soon someday we will meet my Dear Friend and have some tea
                        Gimpy ol me
                        GL

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                          #27
                          One more thing - animals are a pretty good judge of character so if they're loving on you - there's no need to second guess yourself in my books !

                          Obie
                          ~ Be the change you wish to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandi


                          " calling all Angels ...... calling all Angels ....walk me through this one .. don't leave me alone .... calling all Angels .... calling all Angels .... we're tryin' and we're hopin' cause we're not sure how ....... this .... goes ..."
                          Jane Siberry

                          Comment


                            #28
                            And the sign said "Long-haired freaky people need not apply"
                            So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why
                            He said "You look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you'll do"
                            So I took off my hat, I said "Imagine that. Huh! Me workin' for you!"
                            Whoa-oh-oh

                            Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
                            Blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind
                            Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?

                            And the sign said anybody caught trespassin' would be shot on sight
                            So I jumped on the fence and-a yelled at the house, "Hey! What gives you
                            the
                            right?"
                            "To put up a fence to keep me out or to keep mother nature in"
                            "If God was here he'd tell you to your face, Man, you're some kinda sinner"

                            Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
                            Blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind
                            Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?

                            Now, hey you, mister, can't you read?
                            You've got to have a shirt and tie to get a seat
                            You can't even watch, no you can't eat
                            You ain't supposed to be here
                            The sign said you got to have a membership card to get inside
                            Ugh!

                            ------ lead guitar ------

                            And the sign said, "Everybody welcome. Come in, kneel down and pray"
                            But when they passed around the plate at the end of it all, I didn't have a
                            penny to pay
                            So I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own little sign
                            I said, "Thank you, Lord, for thinkin' 'bout me. I'm alive and doin' fine."
                            Wooo!


                            Obie-I've been flashing back to 1971 a lot, as I face regressions in hard-won civil rights. This was PERFECT! The hippies didn't end war but those American ladies back then kicked ass and took names!

                            5 hours sleep and I'm ready to go march on DC LOL. I bet I do have a concussion. I'm laughing, crying and howling out Signs. Dingo went and hid!
                            Blog:
                            Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

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                              #29
                              I really enjoyed that song.
                              We should have Gimpfest, so we can all be "normal" in one place. How am I going to talk the airlines into flying us all somewhere and back for the First annual Gimpfest 2013?

                              And where shall we have it? Ill bring the tye dye. wofeman can bring his BBQ, Im sure I can find a few bands to keep us entertained. even a couple almost famous ones, I can cash in a couple ol favors, and one of them has to play that song.
                              I wonder if cousin john and his doobies would come?

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                                #30
                                Originally posted by jody View Post
                                I really enjoyed that song.
                                We should have Gimpfest, so we can all be "normal" in one place. How am I going to talk the airlines into flying us all somewhere and back for the First annual Gimpfest 2013?

                                And where shall we have it? Ill bring the tye dye. wofeman can bring his BBQ, Im sure I can find a few bands to keep us entertained. even a couple almost famous ones, I can cash in a couple ol favors, and one of them has to play that song.
                                I wonder if cousin john and his doobies would come?
                                If they'd play that song in FL right now there'd be some old men shittin' down their legs. R convention of 1972 was a historic bloodbath.

                                Or you can play it any weekday on Capitol Hill and school and scare some people LOL. Election years!

                                The doobies are legit famous imo!
                                Blog:
                                Does This Wheelchair Make My Ass Look Fat?

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