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    Time frame

    Say you gave yourself a timeframe of hanging on with this.. and to draw a line in the sand so to speak... would it be fair or whatnot to let your family know beforehand or be up upfront like a proposition to them.. like months in advance or hold it to yourself, seems unkind that way..but if they disagree and say no we couldnt handle that then what...i mean it is my option and given i have the function to devise a way and carry it out.. i currently stay with me folks and they tend to me care.. gonna be 8 years.. ive been thru the nursing foster care, stayed w. a girl n her daughter that didnt werk out..
    just questioning other folks aspects..
    I am not your rolling wheels
    I am the highway
    I am not your carpet ride
    I am the sky
    I am not your blowing wind
    I am the lightning
    I am not your autumn moon
    I am the night, the night..

    #2
    I had a friend who did that. Gave himself 5 years. After 5 years he killed himself. I found it very sad, he was the same level of injury as me @ t4 and could have done so much more than he was doing. Even at higher levels I've still been amazed at the stuff people accomplish. My Friend Mark who is a C4/C5 has done some amazing stuff and still has had lots of fun. Paul (c4,5) who is head of Sail to Prevail is doing the Paralympics Skippering a Sonar Sailboat in the UK this summer and stands a real good shot of winning. I had another friend who was C2 and use to run a chain or restuarants and was very successful and wealthy. Bill Miller who I believe is a C1,2 and is about to get married to a beautiful woman and has a bowling score of 255 and has done some real incredible things. It's all possible if you really put your mind to it.

    Just wanted to add, you have gone 8 years already. As I remember that was around the time I really started turning my life around after going through major depression and talked about offing myself on a number of occasions. At least now you've got something, it's better than nothing and it could be nothing after your gone. It was about @ 6 years post I opened my Service Station and did really well and 2 years into it my self confidence went way up and I realized anything was possible.
    Last edited by Curt Leatherbee; 29 Jun 2012, 11:39 PM.
    "Life is about how you
    respond to not only the
    challenges you're dealt but
    the challenges you seek...If
    you have no goals, no
    mountains to climb, your
    soul dies".~Liz Fordred

    Comment


      #3
      Hey Stormy,

      I've been injured 16 years, C5/6 also, but very incomplete.
      I only really existed for the first 6 years after I was hurt. A lot of ups and downs, didn't like to go out in public, didn't know how to "live" again.

      Prior to my accident, worked at a juvenile detention center. One day, about 6 yrs post injury, I was like, dude, you need to do something with your life. I applied at a YMCA for the Teen Center Director position and was hired. Working there gave me a lot of confidence, getting out every day, interacting with people, dating, and making money.

      I was leaving outpatient PT one day when a guy in a chair rolled up and told me about a local quad rugby team. Didn't know what quad rugby was but said I would check it out. Went to a practice, they stuck me in a rugby chair, and I was hooked. It was the first time, post accident, I felt an adreneline RUSH. Crashing into other chairs at full speed, got my blood pumping and awakened my spirit. In addition to that, I was now in a fraternity with a bunch of guys (and a girl) that knew exactly what I was dealing with. It completely changed my life.

      When you discover what gets your blood pumping, it will shake you up and change your perspective.
      There is a rugby team in Portland, not sure how far that is from you.




      PM me

      Jim
      Last edited by Jim; 30 Jun 2012, 2:17 AM.

      Comment


        #4
        my view. im 25 yrs post, yes a quad. im fortunate, im still vey healthy and ind. when i am no longer independent and feel im a burden to my wife, i will then go out with dignity on my own terms. i talked to her about this b4 we ever got married. i dont know how quads do it that are dependent totally. bottom line in the end, its your choice and yours only.

        like jim above, sports have always been my life b4 sci and after. training and doing all that goes with the sport im doing is everything to me. im lucky that my wife is my main training partner. and this year we started doing duathlons together team relay. she runs i bike. so i should say sports and fitness are both ouer lives.
        Last edited by fuentejps; 30 Jun 2012, 11:20 AM.
        Bike-on.com rep
        John@bike-on.com
        c4/5 inc funtioning c6. 28 yrs post.
        sponsored handcycle racer

        Comment


          #5
          I believe that we have the right to throw in the towel. That said, I knew both SCIs and family members who did suicide. It always hurts at least some significant others.

          It took several years before my life turned around just as unexpectedly as the SCI happened. I am glad I did not implement my fail-safe plan.

          My wife and I have taken a more acceptable route by sitting down and putting together living wills or advanced health care directives. It is based on circumstance rather than time and seems to be a good option.
          You will find a guide to preserving shoulder function @
          http://www.rstce.pitt.edu/RSTCE_Reso...imb_Injury.pdf

          See my personal webpage @
          http://cccforum55.freehostia.com/

          Comment


            #6
            I've been thinking a lot about this too.

            If this Fampyra junk doesn't do anything, I keep thinking about how I could benefit 8 people immediately: 2 eyes, 2 lungs, 2 kidneys, a heart and liver.

            Almost 3 decades and no treatments? I would not want to stick around for even one more decade with my failure of a bladder, not being able to work and not having the family I wanted. I'll never trust enough to love again so what's the point? I've lived, I've loved and I've laughed. Enough.

            I choose ... it would be nice to have family support but I know they wouldn't ... doesn't matter either way to me because they've never bothered to try and relate or understand. They never visit anyway so it would just be normal to them if I wasn't there. Financial pressures don't make this life easy either and I am feeling the pinch.

            The shit part is that I've read memory (consciousness then?) stays intact for hours after death. That's the only uncertainty.

            More and more I suspect that Ozymandias had it right.
            Last edited by lynnifer; 30 Jun 2012, 12:44 PM.
            Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

            T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

            Comment


              #7
              Or more likely, I am in serious need of an excellent vacation. There are a few things I haven't done and would regret: Alaskan adventure and skiing. I'd love to learn how to fly a helicopter but what average Jane can afford that?! I need a sugar daddy!
              Last edited by lynnifer; 30 Jun 2012, 12:58 PM.
              Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

              T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

              Comment


                #8
                I fully intended to check out at 50 figuring that 25 years in a chair was enough. But the more years I spent in my 'new normal' the less I thought about that promise. Now six months shy of 60 I figure I have 10 years to get so much accomplished.

                Comment


                  #9
                  I keep thinking there's something wrong with me then. It's opposite for me. I handled everything so well and functioned fine for so long .. and NOW I'm going downhill like this all just happened. WTF!?
                  Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                  T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

                  Comment


                    #10
                    If you were my age I would tell you that you just joined my crowd. But you have a long way to go. You are just down for some intermediate maintenance.
                    You will find a guide to preserving shoulder function @
                    http://www.rstce.pitt.edu/RSTCE_Reso...imb_Injury.pdf

                    See my personal webpage @
                    http://cccforum55.freehostia.com/

                    Comment


                      #11
                      thnxs all 4 the feedback.. im trying to hang in there, youre support definately helps.. i could add all the drama, pros and cons but were all so informed of what they are, some worse/better... my worst one is im an 'anchor on the boat' listening in on conversations..both folks r retired. i was out on my own with a girl n her daughter but financial/ vehicle probs messed it up, ma said its time to back to the house... shes literally the 'warden' round here, dad has no say, and to him im an anchor.. ive recieved subliminal messages of 'just die, 'die' kill yourself from them, like "wtf" so he can have his space..obviously others have folks with similar attributes.. hes highly stressed Ptsd from vietnam, alchoholic, but functional and when ma wants to go away she does and hes stukk to my care, which obviously weighs on him immensly.. just pawns the 'cripple off on me'' is what ive heard.. its like i have to build an invisible forcefield around me to deflect the negative energies bombarding me from him...and his bar is right in my room always messed me up as a kid now i have to continue witnessing the ugliness of it all the time.. albeit he does care and steps up to it but i dont like being a burden, who does?? hes reaching his end and i want to give him his freedom from it..i know no1 has a direct answer..
                      just try n let it ride..
                      I am not your rolling wheels
                      I am the highway
                      I am not your carpet ride
                      I am the sky
                      I am not your blowing wind
                      I am the lightning
                      I am not your autumn moon
                      I am the night, the night..

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I think obviously improving your living situation and getting out of such a toxic environment would help you want to live again. How many hrs of care do you need a day? Could you live on your own mostly with care in the morning and night? What's it like finding decent caregivers in your area? Maybe you could get an apt using a voucher from HUD and use caregivers or even have a live-in one?
                        Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know that, so it goes on flying anyways--Mary Kay Ash

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Alcoholics will suck the life right out of you. Don't end it based on someone else's behaviour. #EasierSaidThenDoneIKnow
                          Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                          T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

                          Comment


                            #14
                            You're right Lynnifer, things are always easier said than done....but it does'nt make them impossible. I don't know what agencies can give you help, but I know they are out there. It does sound like having your own place would be a good solution. Maybe others would know where to start looking for some help. And she's right about alcoholics.....they will drain the life right out of you. I'm sorry he has problems.....but you are'nt the cause of them. Good luck.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              If you can access 'Co-dependent No More' by Melody Beattie online, it will give you a completely new perspective on your father and HIS problems.

                              I don't envy you ... living with an addict is like Hell on Earth. You're not the problem here.
                              Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                              T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

                              Comment

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