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  • #46
    Originally posted by JohnW View Post
    If I just sit in my chair in a place like a hallway, (I guess I'm supposed to be moving), bend over to get into my bag, I get people stop and ask, "are you ok?" They think I look like I'm having an attack of some sort.
    It used to bother me because they won't leave until I say something. Now I just ask back, "compared to when?"

    Also at stores some people get so shook up when they get close enough to give me my change, they begin to shake and their hands quiver the closer they get to my hand.
    That one never botherd me, but puzzled me. It is usually teenagers.


    But none of it bothers me anymore as I realize it is not my job to micro manage other people's emotions toward me.

    Anybody here ever get a nervous shaker?
    Yes, I've had a couple different ones at the Target I've been going to for the last 6 months. It's in a rural tea party type locale.

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    • #47
      Originally posted by Scorpion View Post
      Eileen, you're wrong on so many levels, but I've no desire to argue with you, nor do I care to try and change your mind.

      If you look honestly at your second post in this thread, you'll see that your response to those who had commented (cryptic, Curt, and me) was filled with ire, contempt, and defensiveness, as if you couldn't believe that anyone dared question you. I responded with snark, but I stand by all my words in this thread.

      Your subsequent posts speak for themselves.
      Scorpion, inside of you I smell a loving person, but you project your bitterness on other people all the time. It is you that is filled with ire, contempt and defensiveness.
      The beauty of projection is that it opens a window inside of yourself that you can't ignore: just look at what you say to unfairly provoke other people, and a bulb will light up.

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      • #48
        I think it must be English reserve but over here wheelers don't seem to be treated much differently to ABs, no eye contact, get bumped into and you apologize first, sit next to someone on a train for three hours without speaking, hold open doors for people that don't even want to through 'em, feel embarrassed if a total stranger makes a tit of themselves, gawd the list is endless........

        I'm exaggerating above but I can honestly say that I've never had a stranger make a derogatory/embarrassing remark about me being in a chair within my hearing (may be just lucky or perhaps a bit deaf).

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        • #49
          Originally posted by Timaru View Post
          I think it must be English reserve but over here wheelers don't seem to be treated much differently to ABs, no eye contact, get bumped into and you apologize first, sit next to someone on a train for three hours without speaking, hold open doors for people that don't even want to through 'em, feel embarrassed if a total stranger makes a tit of themselves, gawd the list is endless........

          I'm exaggerating above but I can honestly say that I've never had a stranger make a derogatory/embarrassing remark about me being in a chair within my hearing (may be just lucky or perhaps a bit deaf).
          I think I'm going to have to move to the UK.

          I was thinking about it, I have noticed people really staring at me when I lean down to get change out of my wheelchair bag, I think that must be it, they think I'm slumped over dead, lol.
          "Life is about how you
          respond to not only the
          challenges you're dealt but
          the challenges you seek...If
          you have no goals, no
          mountains to climb, your
          soul dies".~Liz Fordred

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          • #50
            Originally posted by JohnW View Post

            Anybody here ever get a nervous shaker?
            Yeah, that has happened to me in checkout lines as well. Oddly enough it usually is white, american teenagers. I go to 7-11 and if the person behind the counter is from another country they treat me with the same indifference they treat everyone else. It is refreshing in an odd way. The flip side is if you become a regular people treat you really well. I go to two starbucks regularly and in both a couple of the girls and one of the guys are flirty and super nice.

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            • #51
              In my experience, the vast majority of people who would presume to quickly judge that a complete stranger is "a beautiful person", and proceed to inform them of that judgement, are drunk.
              Foolish

              "We have met the enemy and he is us."-POGO.

              "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it."~Edgar Allan Poe

              "Dream big, you might never wake up!"- Snoop Dogg

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              • #52
                As soon as I get comfortable with our society's accpetance/understanding of us, another dumb a$$ AB will come along and set them back a couple of decades.

                I don't know if we're moving forward or backward. I guess it is forward but that progress sure hasn't been pretty.

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                • #53
                  Originally posted by Scorpion View Post
                  ...Sorry, this thread has been more about laughing at the ignorance of someone, as if to gloat and take glee in it, than it has been about laughing off that ignorance, ignorance we all face. There's a distinction between those two things, and I've already explained why I think we should all be careful about how we judge people in these kinds of situations. Curt made good points about how he likes to deal with that ignorance as well.
                  Definitely. This does happen often here, maybe due to frustration and being tired of being the butt of ignorance, and being too often seen and treated as "other". Since there's usually no way to respond to that directly (other than perhaps bewilderment, surprise, weariness, anger or just laughing it off, or whatever immediate reaction you might have in the moment) or address it in a practical way, as it often occurs as a brief passing moment*, I think people on CC have taken to responding in kind by making them (the AB) the other, (the acronym 'AB' is used almost as if to refer to some other human or alien species or something). It's like, 'they've relegated us to a separate (lesser) group, now let's relegate them, and diminish and laugh at them for a change!'.




                  *although there are times where such instances can be made a learning moment, and be a positive experience, for ALL involved.

                  Comment


                  • #54
                    Originally posted by Curt Leatherbee View Post
                    Theres no doubt a lot of what we are seeing in this thread is women are from mars and men from venus (or is it the other way around, lol). Men think differently than woman is all, no harm in that.

                    I just don't understand why you did not try and set the woman straight Eileen if it really bothered you? Look at your original post again. You referred to yourself as "little crippled me" . It took me years to be able to speak up and assert myself, but since I've been doing so I feel so much better about myself rather than keeping everything inside. In a situation like you were in I would not have got angry with the woman because she was old, but I would have just tried to teach how things are in the year 2012, it is not 1950 anymore.
                    I don't know Curt.... I think you are the only one thinking (hoping) about potential lesbian action

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      I don't tend to let the odd comments made to me by elderly people to heart. I try to remember they grew up in a different climate, where quite frankly, I wouldn't have been around to go out with friends, because I wouldn't have made it.

                      I do think just smiling and letting it go was the right choice Eileen, and you and our friend having a little fun with it wasn'tl hurting anyone.

                      I guess my rule of thumb to responding to these things are
                      Elderly = smile and ignore
                      Children = try and make a teaching moment
                      Everyone else = guess it depends on my mood at the time, lol.
                      T7-8 since Feb 2005

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        Have to agree with Curt and sjean ... most of the odd comments seem to come from the elderly.

                        I went into my bank more than a month ago and this woman followed me and watched me struggle up a curb cut from the street (purse almost fell off lap so I grabbed for it and then didn't have my running start .. lol). Then she said, "My gawd you are brave," as I opened the bank door for her. Total exertion: pushed the automated button and held back for her to go first, then proceeded when she didn't.

                        I think it was just her way to start conversation with someone who might be different (read: interesting).

                        It really used to bug me when I was younger though. I would go into mad internal fits of rage that would mark my days detrimentally! I admit to my 'chip' wholeheartedly and sometimes it rears its ugly head now and then.
                        Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                        T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

                        Comment


                        • #57
                          Originally posted by Foolish Old View Post
                          In my experience, the vast majority of people who would presume to quickly judge that a complete stranger is "a beautiful person", and proceed to inform them of that judgement, are drunk.
                          I've experienced that myself on several occasions.

                          Comment


                          • #58
                            Um, the ones saying that to you are NOT drunk Scorp! Ding! Ding! Ding!
                            Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

                            T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

                            Comment


                            • #59
                              Originally posted by Foolish Old View Post
                              In my experience, the vast majority of people who would presume to quickly judge that a complete stranger is "a beautiful person", and proceed to inform them of that judgement, are drunk.
                              this has happened to me several times at concerts. one woman decided to run her hands down my legs and slur "you are soooooooooo beautiful" to which i responded "get your hands off of me"
                              "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
                              http://www.elportavoz.com/

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                              • #60
                                Originally posted by lynnifer View Post
                                Um, the ones saying that to you are NOT drunk Scorp! Ding! Ding! Ding!
                                Yeah, they are -- usually drunk dudes I've never met, at concerts or bars.

                                Of course, "You're beautiful" is a paraphrase of the many things they'd say.

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